Evanescence Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 Hi Ok, so here is what's happening. My LDR bf (of 6 mths) and I have been pretty rocky, especially for the last 2 weeks. Anyway, we broke up two weeks ago, and then both realized it wasn't what we wanted. He apologized profusely, and then we were back together. We didn't get much of a chance to talk about what had happened that made us break up because I wanted to talk to him face to face, and the one time that I did see him, we just wanted to enjoy each other's company. We were suppose to see each other again a few days later, but he cancelled that on me. Ok, so a few days later (after we got back together... whe didn't talk in between these few days because he went to his cottage for the weekend), he was back home. He said he was going to call me the afternoon he got home. This day was also my first day at a new job. So, bedtime comes around and he still hasn't called. I was upset because he said he would have called, and I thought he would have to ask me how my day at work went. He ended up calling me at 2:30am and said that he had fallen asleep and that's why he didn't call. I understood, but eventually told him that I WAS upset earlier because he didn't call. So he got upset with me for that. Threatened to break up with me, but then took it back and said he'd call me the next day. So, the next day. He said he WOULD CALL. Swore he would. Did he? Of course not. I got a quick few messages from him on MSN and that was it. How about the next day? Same thing. That night he told me that he would call me for sure the next day after he got home from this charity dinner thing. Said it would be really late.... well, it's now Saturday afternoon, and still no phone call. Soooo.. I haven't really talked to him for about a week, and before that another week. What do I do? I kind of understood why Wednesday and Thursday nights were message only nights. He was busy with a lot of school work. And maybe last night he just crashed when he got home because he was tired... but this is getting ridiculous. My last relationship was LDR, and I know that you HAVE to communicate to make it work. Once the communication goes down, the relationship goes with it. So am I right to be upset? Or should I just let it roll off my back since he probably has good exuses? It's just getting so frustrating. What ever happened to when he always said he HAD to talk to me every day, it only for a few minutes. HAD to hear my voice. All summer he would call me at work, just for a minute "just to hear my voice". Now he says that if he goes a day without talking to me, that's ok, won't bother him a bit. Well, it's been a week! He gets upset with me whenever I get upset with him for not calling me and says its a stupid reason to get upset. Is it? The fact that I get upset over this is ONE of the reasons my last relationship (which was 5.5 yrs) didn't work. I was always getting upset with him because he wouldn't call when he said he would. So is it me? Or is it just the guys I'm dating? What do I do (anything besides break up?) Thanks everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 As someone who was also involved in a LDR, I understand what you're saying. Relationships are hard enough sometimes when the other person is right there with you.. add LD into it and stand the hell by... Communication is essential... it is all the two of you have when you cannot be physically close. Not to mention the trust factor that is there in again any relationship but especially a LD one... it is natural to want to feel close to that other person and know what is happening in their life... (yep even the small things) because you are not right there with them... It very well may be that your boyfriend doesn't understand that his not calling when he says he will is very upsetting to you, and more than that the reason why.... However, because it is something that is very important to you... it needs to be important to him as well to make you feel secure and understood. I dunno what the answer is... I think maybe it would be good to write to him and tell him how you're feeling... that while it may not be as important to him to keep his word in calling you when he says he will, that in your mind it is the same as IF he were there in your city and just not showing up for a date.... Perhaps the two of you can come to an agreement that how ever many days are set aside and a specific time is set that the two of you have for that "phone date" when you both know what to expect. Good Luck, and feel better:) Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts