Men, what's worse...35 and divorced or 35 and never married?

[Sarabi]

Bahahahahaha Sarabi I'm in the exact same boat as you. Turning 29 soon and my mother always look as me as if I'm insane.

 

You're not going to be able to have kids!

 

You need to start planning your future if you want family!

 

Do online dating!

 

Take control of your life!

 

0_o

 

Last I checked, being able to support myself, have my own home, a career, and a nice social life WAS taking control of my life. Apparently having a man is the be all and end of all of someone's life. I'm sure my ovaries will turn to raisins in a few more months, I'll be completely out of the dating pool, no guy will want me, and I'll wind up at 35 with tons of cats.

 

In my case tons of dogs lol...

The thing about us not being fit to be mothers and fertility playing mean tricks on us is a load of rubbish Why else do we menstruate until our 50s? Besides, I know people who are at the "nice fit healthy age" for having children who had children with something that you associate with supposed "older" mothers. There are absolutely no guarantees in life.

Anyway. I have been told to look on the bright side. Those of my friends who are already married people are saying "they will be divorced in their thirties and forties"

Hmmmm. I don't wish that on anyone. Although some of those same friends have said "enjoy being single"...

Anyway. Another friend said to me "sometimes what you want comes later than you expect but its of a higher quality than what other people have"...so lets hope we make excellent partners for some lucky men one day

[Imported]

Perhaps a reason why the 35+ women who were still single and gorgeous, and not married, is because gorgeous women are approached far, far, less than average-looking women. Most men figure a "plain-Jane" woman is a safe bet, (less rejection). Women who are beautiful and women who are homely, are approached the least.

 

No.

 

Women whom are cold and give nothing back are approached the least. Most any guy that is comfortable approaching can give **** all if a girl is even more beautiful to look at than the other beautiful girls.

 

Your reasoning sounds like "nice guys".....women don't like me cause I am too nice.......waaaa......woe is me.

 

Guys don't like me because I am too pretty or successful. Yeah, right. That must be it.

[MissBee]

I think it depends on who you are.

 

If you are also 35, childless and never married, then you'll likely feel like you'll have a better foundation with someone who is in a similar position. Whereas if you're divorced yourself, esp with kids, you'll probably feel more comfortable and a better match for someone whom you feel can relate to that.

 

I had no clue that one was supposed to already have a marriage under their belt at 35 in this day and age. I actually would prefer to only marry once and I think it will be closer to 30/early 30s. It is more likely, for me, that I will be 35 and unmarried versus 35 and divorced. It's certainly not because anything is wrong with me, but because I am not hellbent on marrying and having kids, until I accomplish certain things for myself, which will in turn make my future kids' and husband's lives a lot more comfortable and stable.

Edited June 27, 2013 by MissBee

[hppr]

Perhaps a reason why the 35+ women who were still single and gorgeous, and not married, is because gorgeous women are approached far, far, less than average-looking women.

 

Women who are drop dead gorgeous and friendly get hit on all the time. If you don't get hit on a lot you are average, and if you never get hit on, well...

[hppr]

I guess I could live with that, being second fiddle and all that. Provided they weren't looking to divorce me at the first chance they got or something like that.

 

You don't want to play second fiddle when it comes to women. Just don't do it. It's better to be single than to be in a relationship with someone who is still semi-obsessed with their ex, especially when the ex is trash.

[KungFuJoe]

I had a conversation with my girlfriends tonight discussing whether or not a man would choose a divorced 35 year old woman or a never married 35 year old if they had to. Before letting you know the consensus of beliefs and why this was even discussed, I'm curious to see what others would choose and why. I look forward to your thoughts!

 

Well...this is only MY opinion from MY experiences so take this with a grain of salt.

 

I'm 39 and out of all the male friends I have (and I have a TON of friends), the only ones that have never been married have women issues.

 

There's one guy who had a 7 year relationship through college and a bit after, but after they broke up, he never had another gf. As recently as a few months ago, he said this to me, verbatim..."I'm not really liking women these days".

 

Another friend (my former best friend) is just plain nuts. Never had a single gf or probably even dated a girl.

 

Another guy is the same. Never had a gf (that I knew of).

 

Another friend...had a fiance...real nice girl. He cheated on her, had a kid with another woman, and that was pretty much the end of that. The one commendable thing about him is that he's definitely not a deadbeat dad...but he's never been "good" with women.

 

I could probably dig up some more, but that's just off the top of my head.

[SuperGeek]

I don't care about this type of past personally. Married, divorced, whatever. It's the past.

[SuperGeek]

I'm that guy right now. It's been 3 years since my divorce and I'm a bitter SOB.

 

There's one guy who had a 7 year relationship through college and a bit after, but after they broke up, he never had another gf. As recently as a few months ago, he said this to me, verbatim..."I'm not really liking women these days".

 

[KungFuJoe]

I'm that guy right now. It's been 3 years since my divorce and I'm a bitter SOB.

 

Your situation is understandable. You just got divorced.

 

His only relationship was over 15 years ago. Not another relationship since then...and his bitterness is rearing its ugly head now.

 

But, it's his own fault. He also lived at home with his parents until he was 37 (just recently moved out a couple years ago).

[SuperGeek]

Gosh that's insane. I moved out when I was 17. Living at home at 37 ?

 

I suppose I could understand it if a parent was ill, but that doesn't sound like the case.

 

If anyone has any cures for being Bitter As Hell (me) let me know. I can't seem to date very long because I can't trust females at this point. I've tried counselling and medicine. I'm still bitter.

 

Your situation is understandable. You just got divorced.

 

His only relationship was over 15 years ago. Not another relationship since then...and his bitterness is rearing its ugly head now.

 

But, it's his own fault. He also lived at home with his parents until he was 37 (just recently moved out a couple years ago).