babygirl21 Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 Hey everyone,I have a major problem.I have been physically,emotionally,and mentally abused by my parents.I have been thrown out onto the porch by my hair and kicked afterwards,I have been slapped,held down on the florr where I couldn't breathe,had my hair pulled,and called all kinds of names.I have been looking for a job but I have been unable to find one.I just feel like I'm gonna be stuck in hell for the rest of my life.I don't have license so it makes it even harder to find a job.I stay out in the country and no busses don't come through here.I have even thought about sucide.Sometimes I feel like thats my only option.Can anyone out there give me some type of advice on where I can get help to get out? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 How old are you? Are you also in school? Link to post Share on other sites
Author babygirl21 Posted October 16, 2004 Author Share Posted October 16, 2004 I am 21 at the moment and no I don't go to school. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 WHere do you live? Which state/country? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 Is there a domestic violence centre for your community? There should be a number for them in your phone book. Or look under social services. Have you got any friends living in the city you could move with? Link to post Share on other sites
Author babygirl21 Posted October 16, 2004 Author Share Posted October 16, 2004 I live in North Carolina.Yes there is one but I called them and they said that they didn't have the funding to get people a place to live.And they usually only talk to the women who's husbands abuse them. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 It's times like these that I want to forget I'm a soft-hearted dumpling, and go out and dispense some ass-whippin justice. Have you spoken to the police yet? You must surely have some bruises or scars? Have you got a tape recorder? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 Do you belong to a church? Are there other social services in your area? Link to post Share on other sites
Author babygirl21 Posted October 16, 2004 Author Share Posted October 16, 2004 No I don't go to church.There is regular social services but will they help me get a place to stay?I know that they help women get a place to stay that have kids but I don't have any kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 They should be your first stop. God, this is heart-rending. Child, get yourself to the social services. They can help you find a job and a place to stay. Just, for moi and I, just don't do anything irresponsible or hurt yourself. IT. AIN'T. WORTH. IT. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 For sure try them. Are you good with kids? Sometimes people need live-in nannies. That way you could live out of your home and earn some money. You can likely find somebody who wants to find a roommate to share accommodation with but you need a job first. Social services should have at least some suggestions on resources in your area. If not, let us know and we'll come up with some more ideas for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Maybe contact your old high school? They might also be able help you. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Originally posted by Papillon It's times like these that I want to forget I'm a soft-hearted dumpling, and go out and dispense some ass-whippin justice. Have you spoken to the police yet? You must surely have some bruises or scars? Have you got a tape recorder? Unfortunatley, this hardly does any good anymore....babygirl, your description of being thrown out on the front porch by your hair brought back some horrible memories for me..... My second step-dad owns a fireworks distribution company and has a lot of influence on this town. The day that I left I was 15 years old, and lucky for me, I had already owned my own car from hauling hay in the summers....I know you don't have that luxury, but, here's a description of what happened that day: It was in the middle of November and our step dad was preparing the RV for a Canada fishing trip he takes yearly with his buddies. During the summer my brother and I fish in our spring fed pond on his property. We hand feed the bass and cat fish so they're HUGE!!! Anyway....we had to use the dip net to pull these things into the boat....one of the cat fish we hooked was so huge it pulled the dip net right out of my brother's hand and took off, breaking the line. That dip net was history!!! Anyway....when he was loading the panels of the RV with beer and gear he couldn't find that dip net. He asked me where it was and of course I had to explain to him what happened to it. Man did he get pissed!!! He told me he was going into town for more supplies and that I better have that same dip net there waiting for him when he got back. My own mother made me go down to the pond, strip and dive for the dang thing! It was so cold! After a couple of minutes in that water I couldn't move, my whole body was blue.....I had to stop....so mom and I went back to the house where she prepared me for the beating I was about to receive.....she would tell me things like, "when he punches you don't stiffen up....that'll just cause your bones to break", "Remember to stay limber....your less likely to bounce around that way", "don't bite your lips and keep your tongue behind your teeth" things like that.....I can usually tell when the beatings where going to be severe or light by just the corner coaching I'd get from mom. I could tell this one would be bad. He came home about 2 hours later and called me out to the barn......I prayed like crazy that he'd be kind enough to give me my beating out in the driveway and not inside the barn. But, that didn't happen.....he told me to come to him, he was in the barn, he then asked where the dip net was....I meekly told him I dived for it and couldn't find it.....that's about all I remember conversation wise.....all I could hear him yelling at me as he was throwing me around in the barn but I couldn't understand him....my ears rang loudly ever time he'd smack me upside the head....I hit a couple of chain saws and a piece of plywood with nails tapped into it just enough to hold wrenches.....I knew I was bleeding but I didn't dare look or he'd hit me again and I wouldn't know where approximatley I would land and where to put my hands to break my fall.... After about what seemed 20 minutes, I was so out of it I couldn't put my arms down....they were locked in a position mimicking the act of carrying a box. He screamed at me to put them down....I don't know why, he just did...and I couldn't....it was like my arms wouldn't obey me. Then that's when he clobbered me a good one....all 113 lbs of me spun around and I landed lifeless on my back. That was all I remember until I woke up and saw the Sheriff's car in the drive. What my sister told me was my step dad met him at the patrol bar. They where talking and my step dad invited him in. When they went inside my mom woke me up enough to get me inside and got me a wet rag with ice in it to put on my nose. I could tell it was broke again....(I got to know when my nose was truly broke and when it was just bruised). Anyway, to spare anymore details, the sheriff left and shortly after, so did my step dad. Apparently my step dad talked him into letting him drive himself down to the station to fill out paperwork on it. As soon as I was able to talk my legs into supporting me again, I asked my mom to help me get some things together....that I couldn't take anymore and no matter what she said or did, I was leaving....she did! I was shocked....my little brother and my two sisters even helped me....and we fought constantly....it was like they knew I had to get out of there or I was dead meat. My little sister was in more danger, she was the one who sneaked out and called the sheriff. None the less...it was time for me to go.....and I never, EVER stepped foot in his house again. I went to stay with a friend and her parents graciously took me in....took me to the ER and I got my fourth nose cast.....kids at shool were used to making fun of me...they all thought I was going through some sort of ongoing plastic surgery.... I finished high school on my own, bouncing from friends house to friends house.....I made it and you can too....they're were some times where it was rough and I wound up boiling eggs in a aluminum can I cut in half...but I never had a doubt that I wouldn't go back...and I didn't. You have to get out. You have to have a friend with understanding parents....noone needs to go through this....you're 21.....you need to get out of the nest anyway.....find a friend that'll take you in and give you rides to pick up some applications, then back and forth to once you find a job and then build rapport with your co workers, hitch a ride back and forth with one of them....eventually earn enough to be self sufficient.... Talk to your friends and let them know first hand that you'll need time to get on your feet and get out...please..... Good luck to you and keep us posted.....I did this, lived, and I have a fantastic life....if I can do this, you can too....believe in yourself!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Jesus, moose.... I never realised. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Thanks Pap.....I've been told that I should write a book.....I still may do just that if I knew it'll get published. I'm just so grateful that it happened to me and noone else that I know personally. Sometimes I feel blessed that it did...I truly believe it made me a stronger person. Link to post Share on other sites
Selkie Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Originally posted by babygirl21 Hey everyone,I have a major problem.I have been physically,emotionally,and mentally abused by my parents.I have been thrown out onto the porch by my hair and kicked afterwards,I have been slapped,held down on the florr where I couldn't breathe,had my hair pulled,and called all kinds of names.I have been looking for a job but I have been unable to find one.I just feel like I'm gonna be stuck in hell for the rest of my life.I don't have license so it makes it even harder to find a job.I stay out in the country and no busses don't come through here.I have even thought about sucide.Sometimes I feel like thats my only option.Can anyone out there give me some type of advice on where I can get help to get out? You must do almost anything you can to get away from your family. Get far away. Be very convincing in how bad the abuse is. Say that is been ongoing for long time and you are too scared to go at all to the police. Take action now. Oh and screw any abuse service org that won't help you because youre not a battered wife. Give me a break. Youre being abused by the people who gave you life and have total control over you ! You had no choice. If you like post the name of the place that rejected you and Ill get them in hot water. I hope that some of the following places can aid you. Family Abuse Services PO Box 2192 Burlington, NC 27215 Office: (336) 226-5982 Crisis: (336) 226-5985 Fax: (336) 226-5902 Email: [email protected] Contact: Susan Kane Domestic Violence Resource Center PO Box 652 Taylorsville, NC 28681 Office: (828) 635-8850 Crisis: (828) 635-8881 Fax: (828) 635-8841 Email: [email protected] Contact: Ingrid Townsend Domestic Abuse is Not Acceptable (DANA) PO Box 1643 Sparta, NC 28675 Office : (336) 372-3262 Fax: (336) 372-7705 Email: [email protected] Contact: Lee Cornett A Safe Home for Everyone (A.S.H.E) PO Box 1827 West Jefferson, NC 28694 Office: (336) 982-8851 Crisis: (336) 219-2600 (Sheriff’s Dept.) Fax: (336) 982-8860 Email: [email protected] Contact: Debbie Richardson Hope Harbor Home, Inc. PO Box 230 Supply, NC 28462 Office: (910) 755.7248 Crisis: (910) 754-5856 Fax: (910) 754-9049 Email: [email protected] Contact: Cathy Swaim Sunshine Transitional Programs, Inc. 5140 Sellers St., Ste. 2 Shallotte, NC 28470 Office: (910) 579-5908 Fax: (910) 842-5241 Email: [email protected] Web Site: http://www.sunshinetranstitions.org Contact: Lynn Carlson Options PO Box 2512 Morganton, NC 28680 Office: (828) 438-9444 Crisis: (828) 438-9444 Fax: (828) 437-0323 Email: [email protected] Contact: Leighann Briggs Shelter Home of Caldwell County PO Box 426 Lenoir, NC 28645 Office: (828) 758-0888 Crisis: (828) 758-0888 Fax: (828) 758-8949 Email: [email protected] Contact: Deborah Teeters Coastal Women's Shelter PO Box 13081 New Bern, NC 28561 Office: (252) 638-4509 Crisis: (252) 638-5995 Fax: (252) 638-1298 Email: [email protected] Contact: Bridget Richardson My Sister's House PO Box 7665 Rocky Mount, NC 27804-0665 Office: (252) 462-0366 Crisis (toll free): (888) 465-9507 Crisis (local): 459-3094 Fax: (252) 462-0555 Email: [email protected] Web Site: click here Contact: Meredith Holland Shelter of Gaston County 330 N. Marietta St. Gastonia, NC 28052 Office: (704) 866-3826 Crisis: (704) 852-6000 Fax: (704) 852-6004 Website: http://www.co.gaston.nc.us/shelter Email: [email protected].nc.us Contact: Cathy B.Cloninger Fifth St. Shelter Ministries C/O My Sister’s House PO Box 5217 Statesville, NC 28687 Office: (704) 872-4045 Crisis: (704) 872-3403 Fax: (704) 873-3319 Email: [email protected] Contact: Dr. Gary West/Patti West Wesley Shelter PO Box 1426 Wilson, NC 27894 Office: (252) 291-2344 Crisis: (252) 291-2344 Fax: (252) 291-1436 Email: [email protected] [email protected] Contact: Kim Gauss Web Site: http://www.wesleyshelter.org OASIS PO Box 1591 Boone, NC 28607 Office: (828) 264-1532 Crisis: (828) 262-5035 or for area codes: 828,336,423 call (800) 268-1488 Fax: (828) 264-1538 Email: [email protected] Web Site: http://www.oasisinc.org Contact: Suzette Patterson Helping Hands PO Box 938 Warrenton, NC 27589 Office: (252) 257-6781 Crisis: (252) 257-6781 Fax: (252) 257-6782 Email: helpinghands@nc.rr.com Contact: Gwen Tunstall Surry Women’s Shelter PO Box 738 Dobson, NC 27017 Office: (336) 386-9657 Crisis: (336) 386-8078 Fax: (336) 386-9659 Email: [email protected] Contact: Linda Shew Steps To Hope, Inc. PO Box 518 Columbus, NC 28722 Office: (828) 894-2340 Crisis (toll free): (888) UHAVEHOPE Fax: (828) 894-3044 Email: [email protected] Contact: Rachel Ramsey Inter-Faith Council Project Homestart 2505 Homestead Rd. Chapel Hill, NC 27514 Office: (919) 932-6025 Crisis (toll free): (866) 929-7122 Fax: (919) 929-8649 Email: [email protected] Domestic Violence Shelter & Services PO Box 1555 Wilmington, NC 28402 Office: (910) 343-0703 Crisis (toll free): (800) 672-2903 Fax: (910) 343-9388 Email: [email protected] [email protected] Contact: Mary Ann Lama UFS- The Shelter for Battered Women PO Box 220312 Charlotte, NC 28222 Office: (704) 332-2513 Crisis: (704) 332-2513 Fax: (704) 332-5403 Email: [email protected] Contact: Jane Taylor Web Site: http://www.unitedfamilyservices.org Haven 160 Charlotte Ave. PO Box 3191 Sanford, NC 27331 Office: (919) 774-8923 Crisis: (919) 774-8923 Fax: (919) 775-7114 Email: [email protected] [email protected] Contact: Tammy Yarborough Link to post Share on other sites
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