Why do women do this??

[Bren]

I have lots of friends that pin all their hopes and dreams on a guy. Like they cant think for themselves and can only go out when their guy is there. I have just bought a house (on my own) and this is like I have a disease!

 

What is with this ?? It makes me mad !

[Tony T]

I've seen this happen a lot. As a matter of fact, a few ladies have pinned all their hopes amd dreams on me in the past...and boy did they have a rude awakening and a few nightmares.

 

I think it's a result of many years of daydreaming that some girls do as they are growing up. Some of it has to do with the media and the fantasy it creates about relationships, etc. Where men seem to be more work oriented, women tend to be more relationship oriented and put most of their eggs in that basket.

 

It is pretty nuts. I think any person, male or female, is very wise to do their own thing. If they find someone special who fits into their lives comfortably, great. But many people, both men and women, try to force themselves into another's life like a square peg might try to work its way into a round hole.

 

It's great you are independent. It's wonderful that you have purchased a house. If you find that men are intimidated by your ambitious nature, you really don't need them. When all is said and done, in this world we can ONLY truly count on ourselves.

 

Only one thing I disagree with you on. This issue does not make you mad. You make yourself mad. Since you can't change reality, just accept it as what's out there, ignore it, and continue doing your own thing.

 

Stop allowing yourself to get worked up about it. You've come a long way, baby!!!

[Nic]

not all women do this, thank god. some women have no idea how to strike a balance between boyfriend and friends. some women are insecure and want as much attention as they can get from a guy, so will push their friends aside. i even know some girls who are afraid to leave their boyfriend's side for one night because of the fear their man might cheat on them. some women are co-dependant. some are controlling. some are just plain clingy.

 

but thankfully, not all women are like this when they are in a relationship! and the ones who are, should realise that friends will always be there, but boyfriends won't.

I have lots of friends that pin all their hopes and dreams on a guy. Like they cant think for themselves and can only go out when their guy is there. I have just bought a house (on my own) and this is like I have a disease! What is with this ?? It makes me mad !

[Deejette]

I too am disgusted by "friends" who only come around after they have been dumped by the guy they have spent every spare minute with. They did not have time for their friends when the relationship was going well.

 

But when it goes sour, they are full of plans to go out, visit, etc., until the next guy comes along, around whom they can focus their lives. These girls will leave their girlfriends in the middle of an outing to call the latest guy on the phone and then hop-to if he tells her to come over.

 

They gain their validation as people from how men respond to them and on whether or not they even have a man in their lives. I really do think this is more of a woman thing than a guy thing. Although I have known many guys who are obsessed stalkers who spend their lives following a woman around town and guys who won't take "no" for an answer, I don't think they base their entire identity on a woman.

 

But maybe I am wrong about this, because I am sure there are guys out there who have been deserted by one of their buddies when he gets into a relationship.

not all women do this, thank god. some women have no idea how to strike a balance between boyfriend and friends. some women are insecure and want as much attention as they can get from a guy, so will push their friends aside. i even know some girls who are afraid to leave their boyfriend's side for one night because of the fear their man might cheat on them. some women are co-dependant. some are controlling. some are just plain clingy.

 

but thankfully, not all women are like this when they are in a relationship! and the ones who are, should realise that friends will always be there, but boyfriends won't.