Salacious details within – Sex, Lies, and Audiotape! Did she cheat? Opinion needed!

[whodat]

A little too much to believe. If on the off chance this thread is real I maintain my position. I listened to only the first bit of audio, and only once so as not to be influenced by what others say they heard.

 

I didn't hear any indication of anything of a sexual nature. Furthermore, what I did hear of the cousin's demeanour tells me he is of the type that few women would be willing to service so easily. If OP wants to maintain that something happened he will have to provide more information to sway me. Either:

 

1. GF is such a complete nympho that she was willing to service (in any way shape or form) such a pig at the drop of a hat.

 

2. There is history between GF and cousin that is not being shared.

 

If these options are not discussed, I will conclude that this thread is a complete fabrication.

[The Way I Am]

Assuming this story is actually real...

 

E050822, why are you making excuses for your boyfriend? He had an audio recorder in the house to spy on you. His claim that it's for security is complete BS, and I think you're smart enough to know that. So your neighborhood isn't that safe -- what good is an audio recording of any crime that was committed in your house going to do? It's difficult for police to find a perpetrator when you have a video or a picture of them. Audio is useless. Even if the perp did get caught, the audio likely wouldn't even help that much at trial, because even with the audio cleaned up as much as it could be, the experts and the jury would disagree with what they heard and whether the "cleaned up" version actually distorted the events.

 

Even if your bf is dumb enough to think his recorder is for security, why did he not tell you about his "security system" if he didn't intend to use it to spy on you?

 

So either both you and your boyfriend are morons for thinking that an audio recorder is at all useful as a security system or your boyfriend was purposely spying on you, and you're choosing to buy that BS in order to hold on to this unhealthy relationship.

 

You know whether you did what he's accusing you of. If you didn't, don't let him bully you into giving him his self-fulfilling prophecy so he can use it to hold over your head. Whether you did it or not, I think you should get out. Get some counseling to figure out why you're willing to put up with this situation (and why you cheated if you did that).

 

BreatheForABit, I can't tell at all what's happening on that recording. And it doesn't matter. You've already made up your mind. You don't trust your girlfriend even after she took a lie detector test. Nothing anyone says here is going to convince you. 2 grand worth of audio enhancement isn't going to convince you.

 

Cut out the BS and stop pretending your recording is a security device. You never trusted your girlfriend and were using it to spy on her. There's really no other reason not to have told her about it. (And doing that might actually be illegal where you live.)

 

This relationship is already over whether or not your gf cheated. Move on and get into counseling to work on your trust issues.

Edited July 7, 2013 by The Way I Am

[Trimmer]

Cut out the BS and stop pretending your recording is a security device. You never trusted your girlfriend and were using it to spy on her. There's really no other reason not to have told her about it. (And doing that might actually be illegal where you live.)

FYI, another thread:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/406317-controlling-have-security-recording-devices-home-you-own

...on whether having the recording device is "controlling", and the possible legalities involved.

[BreatheForABit]

But am I to understand the audio recording is right by the BATHROOM?

 

Bathroom is near center of the house, so that is where the audio device is placed.

[The Way I Am]

Also, I don't see E050822 not remembering using her phone or hearing the TV as confirmation of guilt, because that's exactly the kind of sleeper I am. I get up and walk across the room in the morning without remembering and only know I did it because my phone is on the pillow instead of the charger where I left it the night before. My bf has left and said goodbye before I went back to sleep, and I had no memory of it until after I asked why he hadn't said goodbye. I fell asleep right in front of a wall of speakers blaring music at a Mexican wedding. An old roommate kicked in our front door to break the security chain because I had locked it thinking she was already asleep in her room. She came in my room screaming at me, and I only woke up when she hit me with her coat.

 

Being a heavy sleeper isn't a confirmation of guilt.

[BreatheForABit]

A little too much to believe. If on the off chance this thread is real I maintain my position. I listened to only the first bit of audio, and only once so as not to be influenced by what others say they heard.

 

I didn't hear any indication of anything of a sexual nature. Furthermore, what I did hear of the cousin's demeanour tells me he is of the type that few women would be willing to service so easily. If OP wants to maintain that something happened he will have to provide more information to sway me. Either:

 

1. GF is such a complete nympho that she was willing to service (in any way shape or form) such a pig at the drop of a hat.

 

2. There is history between GF and cousin that is not being shared.

 

If these options are not discussed, I will conclude that this thread is a complete fabrication.

 

I don't know why people find this unbelievable. Did you not listen to the audio? It is there, do you think I could just make that up or that I hired some people to act out this whole thing? That's crazy! Why would anyone do that for just a few laughs on a forum? If that were the case, why wouldn't the person just take video of it?

 

Anyways, G has confided in me that she has a much higher sex drive now than in the past for some reason. M and G did have prior conversation while I was away at work, so it could have been planned in advance at that time.

[CarrieT]

I don't know why people find this unbelievable.

What we find unbelievable is that 20 pages into this thread, you guys are still trying to justify your behavior and relationship.

 

You don't believe each other, so why don't you two just move on and be done with this farce of a relationship?

[E050822]

Also, I don't see E050822 not remembering using her phone or hearing the TV as confirmation of guilt, because that's exactly the kind of sleeper I am. I get up and walk across the room in the morning without remembering and only know I did it because my phone is on the pillow instead of the charger where I left it the night before. My bf has left and said goodbye before I went back to sleep, and I had no memory of it until after I asked why he hadn't said goodbye. I fell asleep right in front of a wall of speakers blaring music at a Mexican wedding. An old roommate kicked in our front door to break the security chain because I had locked it thinking she was already asleep in her room. She came in my room screaming at me, and I only woke up when she hit me with her coat.

 

Being a heavy sleeper isn't a confirmation of guilt.

 

Thank you!! I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one in the world who can sleep through loud noises or not remember what they do when they're half asleep! :-)

[E050822]

Anyways, G has confided in me that she has a much higher sex drive now than in the past for some reason. M and G did have prior conversation while I was away at work, so it could have been planned in advance at that time.

 

 

Yes, I have confided that I have a much higher sex drive than what I used to. That being said, that does not equal nymphomania. It's called getting older, and a woman's biological clock. Yes, when I was in my 20's, I had a "take it or leave it" attitude towards sex. However, being in my 30's now, and realizing that I would like to have another baby at some point...sex is kind of a requirement for that to be possible.

 

Yes, M and I did have prior conversations...what was I supposed to do, avoid all contact with him as if he were the Plague? I wanted to be NICE to him...not jump his bones, for God sake.

[Trimmer]

Pardon me for butting in, but I believe you said there was a dog in the house? If someone were doing the dog, I doubt they'd admit to it... Such animal could be enticed... I know that's sick, but some people are...

I hear what you're saying, but fer chrissakes lady, it's a Chihuahua! :laugh: (I have to say, I just love the "doin' the dog" angle here. Wait, did I start that?)

 

 

But am I to understand the audio recording is right by the BATHROOM? What the hell kind of security system is that? Gross!

Bathroom is near center of the house, so that is where the audio device is placed.

Yeeaaaahhh... While I'm sure this is a technically accurate answer to the literally interpreted question, I'm not sure you're getting the bigger point here.

 

Yes, I have confided that I have a much higher sex drive than what I used to. That being said, that does not equal nymphomania. It's called getting older, and a woman's biological clock. Yes, when I was in my 20's, I had a "take it or leave it" attitude towards sex. However, being in my 30's now, and realizing that I would like to have another baby at some point...sex is kind of a requirement for that to be possible.

 

Yes, M and I did have prior conversations...what was I supposed to do, avoid all contact with him as if he were the Plague? I wanted to be NICE to him...not jump his bones, for God sake.

So what's your position right now? (Sorry, couldn't resist!) Are you back to claiming that you didn't do anything sexual at all with "M", and you just falsely admitted to the blowjob under duress, so that you could then ask forgiveness and move on to healing your relationship from something you didn't do?

 

Or are you admitting to the blowjob, but denying further sexual congress?

 

Or if we push hard enough (Oh! Sorry! Did it again!) would you "confess" to the whole thing so that you can really, really apologize, and do even that much more healing?

[E050822]

So what's your position right now? (Sorry, couldn't resist!) Are you back to claiming that you didn't do anything sexual at all with "M", and you just falsely admitted to the blowjob under duress, so that you could then ask forgiveness and move on to healing your relationship from something you didn't do?

 

Or are you admitting to the blowjob, but denying further sexual congress?

 

Or if we push hard enough (Oh! Sorry! Did it again!) would you "confess" to the whole thing so that you can really, really apologize, and do even that much more healing?

 

I'm saying what I've been saying the entire time, except for when I was pushed up against the metaphorical wall the other night and "confessed". I DID NOT DO A D*MN THING WITH M...not that day and not ever. I have been with one person and one person only since the day I met him. I am satisfied with the relationship I have with him, and I did not and would not cheat on him with anyone. Is that clear enough?

[SoulStorm]

I still believe you..unless you were sleepwalking...

[Iama]

I'm saying what I've been saying the entire time, except for when I was pushed up against the metaphorical wall the other night and "confessed". I DID NOT DO A D*MN THING WITH M...not that day and not ever. I have been with one person and one person only since the day I met him. I am satisfied with the relationship I have with him, and I did not and would not cheat on him with anyone. Is that clear enough?

 

You would have never "falsely" confessed. Like I said when people aren't guilty they don't try so hard... they instead get all angry at the person falsely accusing them.

 

@The BF, your gf and M had prior convos? When and where? This was not shared. Were they alone in the same place at once?

 

@GF, you know you have a good bf, you also know that no other guy would take you, hence why you're trying to stick onto this bf. But man, stop being so ****ing insecure and be single for once. Whether you did it or not, why are you willing to put yourself through this, just from some relationship security.

[Realist3]

You would have never "falsely" confessed. Like I said when people aren't guilty they don't try so hard... they instead get all angry at the person falsely accusing them.

 

Horse poop. People do it all the time, and not just in relationships, but in criminal cases. In fact, being angry and extremely defensive is one sign some people would suggest you are guilty or lying. It is a no win situation.

[E050822]

I still believe you..unless you were sleepwalking...

 

No, I was not sleepwalking. Lol. I may talk in my sleep from time to time, but I don't sleepwalk.

[E050822]

 

@GF, you know you have a good bf, you also know that no other guy would take you, hence why you're trying to stick onto this bf. But man, stop being so ****ing insecure and be single for once. Whether you did it or not, why are you willing to put yourself through this, just from some relationship security.

 

Yes, I know I have a good boyfriend. Why the h*ll do you think I'm fighting so hard to prove my innocence to him? Maybe because, before any of these accusations started, I had been happier than I've been in years. And as for your thoughts that I'm holding on to him because no one else would want me?? That's not the case at all...I've had enough boyfriends to know that that's not where the problem lies. He's the first one that I've actually WANTED to build a future with in a long, long time though.

[BreatheForABit]

@The BF, your gf and M had prior convos? When and where? This was not shared. Were they alone in the same place at once?

 

During days prior when I had to work and G had the day off and stayed home with the kids, and whenever G brought supplies to where M was working. I am not sure what was said because neither G or M will say anything about it, but I know there was at least some form of communication.

[E050822]

You would have never "falsely" confessed. Like I said when people aren't guilty they don't try so hard... they instead get all angry at the person falsely accusing them. QUOTE]

 

So you've never known someone to admit to something they didn't actually do when they are asked over and over and over again to tell someone what they want to know but won't believe the truth? And I did get plenty angry at him over the course of the past month...angry enough to leave a few times. It was him who called or texted repeatedly, asking me to come back home so we could work it out.

[Trimmer]

I'm saying what I've been saying the entire time, except for when I was pushed up against the metaphorical wall the other night and "confessed". I DID NOT DO A D*MN THING WITH M...not that day and not ever. I have been with one person and one person only since the day I met him. I am satisfied with the relationship I have with him, and I did not and would not cheat on him with anyone. Is that clear enough?

 

Are you getting snippy with me?

 

Is she getting snippy with me?

 

Forgive me if I became a bit confused, once you announced that you confessed, then recanted. No, it's not at all clear.

 

As has been mentioned many times previously, you guys are messed up. You need to call it quits, or get direct help. Lobbying strangers on an internet message board, with incomplete, trickled evidence is a waste of time, and in the end, probably just futher damaging any hope you have of reconciling.

 

Clear enough?

Edited July 8, 2013 by Trimmer

[E050822]

During days prior when I had to work and G had the day off and stayed home with the kids, and whenever G brought supplies to where M was working. I am not sure what was said because neither G or M will say anything about it, but I know there was at least some form of communication.

 

Here is how the conversations went...

G: "hey M, here's your beer and food."

M: "thanks".

 

Enough said...it was just me trying to be nice by dropping things off for him, or telling you to tell him to come to the house for dinner when I cooked a meal.

[BreatheForABit]

I have the same options as when this started I guess...

 

1) Pretend that there does exist a floating prostitute who will come over within 10 minutes at 7:30AM and barely say a word, never asking for money or anything. Then just feel like sh*t for a long time because I KNOW the REAL TRUTH (it's right there in the audio). Then kick myself in the a*s when G does this again.

 

2) Not tolerate the lies anymore and go my own way. I may be lonely for a bit but it will probably be better than living as a doormat whose significant other knows that she can do whatever and I'll ask her back and forgive.

 

3) If G actually seriously admits her part in this sordid affair (like she started to do a couple days ago), THEN we can work on what is left of our relationship and try to make things better and move on together.

 

 

I know I can't do #1 because I already tried and I just keep coming back to "why is she insulting my intelligence and just keeps denying like I'm some sort of wus*y, an idiot, or worse". So it's between 2 and 3 since I know I can't do number 1.

[beach]

Number 2 for sure!

[CarrieT]

2) Not tolerate the lies anymore and go my own way. I may be lonely for a bit but it will probably be better than living as a doormat whose significant other knows that she can do whatever and I'll ask her back and forgive.

 

Too many of us have been suggesting this route, pages ago...

 

She did it: Why would you want to be with her?

 

G: You didn't do it: Why would you want to be with a guy who doesn't believe you?

 

 

See? You both can't want to be with each other under the auspices that the trust has been broken.

 

Just end this dysfunctional relationship already! :rolleyes:

[E050822]

 

G: You didn't do it: Why would you want to be with a guy who doesn't believe you?

 

 

See? You both can't want to be with each other under the auspices that the trust has been broken.

 

Just end this dysfunctional relationship already! :rolleyes:

 

Oh, it's done, alright. But since he left me with nothing to my name and won't help me get back on my feet with finding another place to live for my children and I, he's stuck with me here until I can get enough money set aside for an apartment or house to rent.

[BreatheForABit]

stuck with me here until I can get enough money set aside for an apartment or house to rent.

 

This is all I really was to her in the first place. A place to stay to ease the bills. She's tried nearly every manipulative tactic in the book to avoid leaving. Not going to work, I can see right through those manipulative tactics like "you'll be forever alone", "it's all your fault", "you're just crazy", "I'm going to ruin your life", and "I wish I could erase the last 7 months" (i.e. - "I never really loved you anyways").