Els Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I agree with all of this. I believe I will take the serious way, that's what i was planning on. But there's a HUGE problem. Yesterday morning she left for a month long scholarship program in Australia, during which I will have minimal contact with her. I don't want to stretch this out, but I don't want to ruin this for her either. She spent 3 months writing an essay for it, and had to raise 3k by herself, I would feel terrible if I destroyed the entire experience. I should have told her before, but again, i didn't want to ruin it, and I have only just steeled myself up to the realization that I have no choice but to be honest. This just doesn't seem like something I should be explaining in an email, waiting a day for her to reply, then sending another one to apologize, and so on. If i could, I would prefer to tell her to her face. Sounds fine to me, but you'd better make sure your reasons for it are genuine - not mere procrastination of a difficult task. Which means, no more excuses once she gets back. Link to post Share on other sites
MoooOinkBaaa Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Just tell he I don't think she is really going to care. Link to post Share on other sites
Trufita Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 Yeah, just tell her ASAP. You shouldn't have lied, but if you try to explain to her she might understand. If you've been talking for a year she probably likes you enough to forgive that. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
kelly_wandering Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 Can you wait til you're 16 and tell her then? Link to post Share on other sites
PepperPotts Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 (edited) I would follow TMichael's advice. My boyfriend and I were friends before we dated, and he lied to me as friends about something reputation-based. He fudged details on an event to keep his privacy-- what had actually happened definitely didn't matter when we were just friends. But it mattered when we were dating. It mattered a lot. I was really unhappy that I'd been lied to, but I was ok with it for three reasons: 1. We weren't in a relationship when he lied, and he didn't know we ever would be. 2. He came clean QUICKLY. And he didn't wait until there were new circumstances that made the situation worse (i.e. if you HAD been barely fifteen while she's turning eighteen tomorrow and you waited to tell until after you'd put her in an illegal situation). 3. He wasn't under pressure when he told me. He told me because he wanted to be honest with me. So in my opinion, you've still got a chance. And if you don't, you're a kid and can have a great summer single! Make sure you tell her WHY you lied --you were nervous and didn't want her to think of you as a kid-- and tell her before she does anything in reliance on your age. Tell her that you want to be COMPLETELY honest with her, even if it costs you, because she deserves that. She deserves to be able to trust you, and part of being able to trust someone is knowing they will be forthcoming when there's been a mistake. Whatever happens, it'll be ok! Edited July 12, 2013 by PepperPotts 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Havetotellher Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 I don't expect anyone who ever commented on this to see this, as long ago as it was, but I feel like you deserve an update for the help/advice that you offered me(whether you see it or not). I broke it to her as soon as she got back, and her first reply was "THAT'S all you were worried about?". Truth is, she took it a bit harder than she let on. We were distant for a week or so, but everything returned back to normal. Better, really, this summer her parents invited me to stay with them from June until August, because they know what it would mean to us. So, thanks again guys! I made this account to pose this question only, and I hope I never need to return. I appreciate all of your advice, and I wish you the best in your future endeavors. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Happy to hear that, OP. Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Excellent! What a great outcome, glad to hear it. Link to post Share on other sites
wanda51 Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Age for me is doesn't matter but your situation can be complicated cause you lied sometimes this is one of the reason why age is matter.In Finland i seen a couple that really live nice but they bought have different ages however lately they are suffering for relationship crisis and having a counseling at http://www.katajary.fi/ and hopefully they will fix it and also hope that your problem will fix too. Link to post Share on other sites
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