Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Why do people have no morals or ethics? I just wish I understood. I don't think women are better but my focus is not women. I had a date last night with this sleazy, slimy guy that just made me want to Every guy I dated in the past year, you could tell in the FIRST month that something was seriously off. Most often significant lies and inconsistencies. I only came across one guy that showed himself to be sincere and genuine (the one I dated recently) but unfortunately I had zero physical chemistry with him It shouldn't be THIS hard to come across someone decent. Especially because I believe myself to be kind, moral and good hearted person. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 There are plenty of good guys out there. You just have to listen to your gut and keep throwing out the bad ones. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Why do people have no morals or ethics? While I would usually vehemently disagree with a general statement like this, unfortunately recent developments with someone kind of got me to draw the same conculsion 5 Link to post Share on other sites
KillerFish Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Maybe you are meeting guys in the wrong places? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetheart5381 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Sometimes you have to deal with a lot of douches to actually find a real, genuine, goodhearted man. You also have to consider chemistry and timing. There are a lot of dynamics at play when it comes to dating and relationships. Don't get too down about it, and don't give up... I found a great guy, out of the blue when I wasn't even looking Great guys are out there too, likely wondering the same thing about women 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 While I would usually vehemently disagree with a general statement like this, unfortunately recent developments with someone kind of got me to draw the same conculsion Do I know him? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 There are plenty of good guys out there. You just have to listen to your gut and keep throwing out the bad ones. I have gotten very good at throwing out bad ones. This is something I wasn't doing when I was younger and wasted wayyyyyy too much time. The problem is, once you throw out bad ones, there is nothing left :/ 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Do I know him? I didn't mean that one 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 The problem is, once you throw out bad ones, there is nothing left :/ Ok with all the negative stuff, there are good guys ES. They tend to be the more mature types - not necessarily older but definitely mature. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Try more non-traditional ways of meeting men. I'm not certain how you do it now, but there are probably other ways. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 I didn't mean that one Be careful with trusting that one too 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Be careful with trusting that one too I know. Haven't spoken to him for 2 weeks. I cut him off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 ES, slightly disappointed to read the negative thread title, but good luck with your ongoing search. We're out there somewhere! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 You guys can share mine. I met him when I was 22 and he was 15 or something (ok, didn't meet up in person until he was 18), so he's already trained. I'm kinda pissed at him at the moment, so I don't mind lending him out. He's 5'9", black, short hair, a hard worker, and if he doesn't mind his damn words to me, he's going to get knocked on his ass tonight. Oh, he also cleans up after himself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Maybe on some level the problem is you. You did say you met someone good but no chemistry. You want a good guy but want someone that can create physical chemistry. Maybe its just time to step away from dating for a while or spend time figuring out qualities in a man that would be a balance 3 Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 You know what I'm going to say. Because the good guys are home with their wives and children and/or long term gfs. The dates I went on over the 5 years I was single were with men who were, for the most part, HORRIBLE human beings: alcoholics, drug addicts, overgrown little boys (like wanna be rock stars/actors), unemployed/underemployed (and fine with this), liars, and/or unstable in a variety of ways. The not as bad ones had commitment issues, slept with anything that moved, couldn't hold a conversation, were argumentative, weird, unkind, bitter about an ex. It really is like finding a needle in a haystack, and I was starting to believe no needle had put in the haystack. Do you know any normal guys whose marriages are on the rocks? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 While I would usually vehemently disagree with a general statement like this, unfortunately recent developments with someone kind of got me to draw the same conculsion Ok with all the negative stuff, there are good guys ES. They tend to be the more mature types - not necessarily older but definitely mature. That said: I think I've had three types of experiences since starting dating again 1. The unexplained disappearance. It hurts, and I don't understand. But that's about all I can say about it. 2. The "we are so incompatible I don't even really want to be seen in public with you again". Someone who is proud to treat the service staff poorly, for example. No judgment on these people. I just explain myself and move on. 3. (This is the majority of guys): They're nice, we hang out, but we kind of both see that there really isn't much to go on. These guys I consider good guys. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 I know. Haven't spoken to him for 2 weeks. I cut him off. I did the same thing a while back. I'm glad you figured it out 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I did the same thing a while back. I'm glad you figured it out Thanks ES. Don't mean to hijack your thread though 1 Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 look at all the "good guys" here on LS... you may meet one off of here. As others have said, we (being good guys) are out there. you just need to chip through a lot of rocks to find the burried diamonds. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 look at all the "good guys" here on LS... you may meet one off of here. :lmao::lmao::lmao: 12 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Why do people have no morals or ethics? It's pretty inconvenient and fairly unrewarding to do so. I just wish I understood. I don't think women are better but my focus is not women. It can be disappointing when one's target audience is disappointing. I had a date last night with this sleazy, slimy guy that just made me want to He was evidently attractive enough to get a date so, of the men who meet your standard of attractiveness and high interest, you chose this one to try out. Sorry it turned out to be disappointing. Every guy I dated in the past year, you could tell in the FIRST month that something was seriously off. Most often significant lies and inconsistencies. The good news is you've evidently gone out on a lot of dates, which means not only are men presenting themselves for inspection, a good number you deem attractive are presenting themselves. It'll work out. Having been through some of this back in my 30's, I'm a bit envious that you're actually meeting and dating apparently single men. I would have considered that a rousing success no matter how the dates turned out. In the big scheme of life, there are generally very few people one experiences marked synergy and mutual care and love with, so it follows that one should expect a lot of less than positive experiences. Another option is the one which AtheistScholar has apparently chosen, which is also my current choice, that being to self-select out of the dating circle and move on to other things in life. Good luck. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 No guy is perfect, though. My whatever is normally pretty damn awesome, but I'm a little bit pissed at him at the moment. And, of course, he drives me nuts on a regular basis when it comes to some things. But at his core he's a "good guy." I think you have to prioritize and pick your battles and really get to know guys before dating them. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 In the big scheme of life, there are generally very few people one experiences marked synergy and mutual care and love with, so it follows that one should expect a lot of less than positive experiences. I think this is what I've learned to accept over the last few years. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 :lmao::lmao::lmao: Exactly my reaction Emilia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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