Southern Cal Dude Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Me too but I still run in the same circles and hang out at the same places and have the same friends I did when I was broke. I can just afford to do it without having to worry about the rent now. The broke days living in a studio apartment on the Lower East Side before it was gentrified always inspires fond memories in me. My grandparents live in Peter Cooper Village. Supposed to go in August. It was a mess after Sandy. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Honestly I think a lot of women want to be MS No1 for Mr BBD and they view anything less as settling. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 My grandparents live in Peter Cooper Village. Supposed to go in August. It was a mess after Sandy. I had a place at St Mark's place above a Bagel Shop. Pretty good bagels. Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Honestly I think a lot of women want to be MS No1 for Mr BBD and they view anything less as settling. Maybe. I just know that I want to meet the right dude for ME. And until I do find him, I would be settling. Not apologizing for it, either. Link to post Share on other sites
jma500 Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 There are plenty of good guys out there. They are simply overlooked or ignored. No chemistry is a shopworn excuse. To expect immediate chemistry from a guy is ridiculous. It takes time to get to know one another. To much Hollywood romance movie bs and not enough common sense today. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Men will settle down in a heartbeat with the right woman and that is not about looks. When men evaluate a potential wife they envision what daily life living with her is like and if they don't like what they see they won't commit. If they do most will. When I envisioned life with my wife I saw it would be better and happier than single life and that is why I married. I dated a couple women and when I imagined life with them I said hell no. That is really what it boils down to for most men. I don't know whether 'most' will but I think men plan ahead more than women do - from what I've seen over the years anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
L1ght Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Lol why are there no good guys left? Probably because of the lack of appreciation women show towards them when they are good, decent and affectionate so they think "f*ck it!" and just do the bare minimum in an effort to at least get you into bed. You see how I made a general statement to counter your general statement? I joke of course....Guys have the capacity to be good lovers just as much as women do but if you catch a person at the wrong time in their life specifically after they are still dealing with certain issues from a past relationship then the chances are they are not going to be fully invested in a potential romance with you.......I mean who doesn't have baggage? I guess we strike it lucky when we meet someone who has dealt with the lingering inner demons that have been plaguing their souls to the point where they are now genuinely ready to find love with someone new. Good luck.....There's plenty of good guys out there that are hoping to be given a chance with someone like you who just wants to be loved. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 I have to agree with @Woggle, once a man is sure - he commit full time. I just think women tend to do it quicker and are usually more emotional. They expect marriage talk very soon and that can scare a man. Of course it can be too late, probably I experienced that myself, I'll never know now. But I always thought that another distinction between good/bad guys is that a good guy won't promise you world at the very beginning. He will be patient and will require the same to see if both parties can commit full time. Bad guys will tell you everything you want from the start, in order to achieve what they want. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 But I always thought that another distinction between good/bad guys is that a good guy won't promise you world at the very beginning. He will be patient and will require the same to see if both parties can commit full time. Bad guys will tell you everything you want from the start, in order to achieve what they want. Yes __________ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 But I always thought that another distinction between good/bad guys is that a good guy won't promise you world at the very beginning. He will be patient and will require the same to see if both parties can commit full time. Bad guys will tell you everything you want from the start, in order to achieve what they want. I agree. But that would be an actual nice guy. Not the Internet meme nice guy, which proliferates around these parts. Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Because many men were hurt or played hard by a girl or woman in the past and many of them get bitter and do a 180. Hurt before one is hurt. You can't lead a guy on or not know what you want and then wonder where all the good guys are? Not saying you have, but many women do. There are many vile women out there like these men you speak of. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Indeed. It seems most of the good, nice men are taken, and the ones who AREN'T taken seem to be hiding somewhere where I cannot reach them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Lol why are there no good guys left? Probably because of the lack of appreciation women show towards them when they are good, decent and affectionate so they think "f*ck it!" and just do the bare minimum in an effort to at least get you into bed. LOL I think every guy has been there at one time or another. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Indeed. It seems most of the good, nice men are taken, and the ones who AREN'T taken seem to be hiding somewhere where I cannot reach them. They appear nice because they've been pre-selected. There's plenty of nice guys around. I have to LOL when I hear people complain where the nice guys/girls are. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Indeed. It seems most of the good, nice men are taken, and the ones who AREN'T taken seem to be hiding somewhere where I cannot reach them. I guarantee you wherever you go there are good, nice guys all over the place. Once you adopt that mindset meeting people becomes pretty easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 I guarantee you wherever you go there are good, nice guys all over the place. Once you adopt that mindset meeting people becomes pretty easy. Oh I know there are, I think you took my post a little too seriously I just have had the misfortune that the men I know are either unavailable or uninterested. Simply a misfortune, not a determining factor of any "goodness" or "badness" of the men that are around me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 It really depends on one's definition of good. I think by good, some women think 'the whole package'. Good looks; relationship oriented; sexy; driven; stylish; edgy; compassionate etc. In my books, good is how you treat other people. Plenty of good men (and women) out there. Whether or not you're attracted to good men is a whole other matter... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 In my books, good is how you treat other people. I agree. Simply decent people who treat other humans, and themselves, with respect. Other factors such as being "stylish" or "sexy" are quite trivial in the grand scheme of things. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
nerd Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 The number of women doing online dating whose first priority in choosing a man is his sense of humor makes me sad. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 The number of women doing online dating whose first priority in choosing a man is his sense of humor makes me sad. ....and mostly disingenuous. Believe me, it is not their FIRST priority. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 ....and mostly disingenuous. Believe me, it is not their FIRST priority. Oh look, here's a good guy now Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 I agree. Simply decent people who treat other humans, and themselves, with respect. Other factors such as being "stylish" or "sexy" are quite trivial in the grand scheme of things. Is that so? Link to post Share on other sites
Nicoleiia Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 (edited) There's no such thing as a good guy..they are all bums and I'm sick of trying to navigate finding a decent bf in a sea of losers! Edited July 8, 2013 by Nicoleiia Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 There are a lot of good guys left. I know many of them. Being a mother of three sons in their twenties, I get to know a lot of guys that are friends with my sons. These guys are intelligent, athletic, handsome (many of them), and with good character. You just have to weed through the losers until you find that good guy. They are out there. Just don't waste your time with losers. Of course, those good guys also expect a comparable woman who values herself and has a lot going for her and with good character. So you need to be the type of person whom you are trying to attract. And have high expectations for men and hold them to a high standard of behavior. When women put up with crap from men, those men don't learn how to behave any better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
colejack Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 (edited) As a single guy who is often called a "good guy," these kinds of posts always interest me because they remind me that it isn't just me who has problems finding dates. Maybe I can offer some perspective. You can call me a nice guy, but not in the negative push-over sense of the word. I take value in treating people well. When someone does me a favor, I'll always keep it in mind and return it. I do favors for others initially without expecting anything in return other than common decency. I'm legitimately interested in others' lives and want to see people I'm around get the things they want and be happy. I can be funny and sarcastic, but I never like to do that at another's expense. Most of all, I have empathy for people. There have been times when I could have gained something at the expense of someone else getting hurt and feeling betrayed by me. Sometimes it was a girl who liked me a lot that I liked physically but couldn't see myself dating, and while I could have hooked up with her and then cut it off when I was tired of her, I turned her down from the beginning to spare her hurt later on. There were other times when it was a guy who confided in me that he liked a girl, and I had a shot at the same girl and knew I had a better chance than him, but backed off not to betray the trust that guy had in me. Friends will say I'm loyal and can always be trusted, and those aren't traits I mean to give up just to get laid more. And while all of this is true, I have still been a man of action and a leader. I've taken initiative and made decisions in situations where others wouldn't. If I have a goal, I get it done. Women say all the time, "Where are all the good guys hiding?" Well, if you'd take my word and take me for a good guy, then we're everywhere. You just don't notice me. Or maybe you do notice me, but you misjudge on your first look and think I'm a snob or a-hole or nice guy or whatever else. I have no idea. The thing is, girls don't notice the things I wrote about above, at least the ones in their 20's. I can't tell them how I've treated people when I first meet them out somewhere. The best I can do is continue to treat people the way I do whether girls notice or not. They don't notice because it's not something you can pitch to them without being self-absorbed. I'm clinging to the hope that not all girls are like this, but I've met so many that only notice the big showy things that aren't even good ideas. For example, I've had many encounters with aggressive guys who have tried to pick fights with me and have gone to great lengths to do it (don't know why...they just gravitate toward me), and there has been only one case that has escalated to violence, only because they were beating up another guy and I stepped in to defend him. Every other time, I handled the situation calmly and at least temporarily resolved the situation without senseless violence. I know that I took the best recourse in all those cases, but does it get noticed? No. How could it? Beating some punks up who tried to fight you and putting them in their place makes for a much more bold and courageous story that people notice, though. And I'm a strong and athletic guy that can handle himself, but I still will do all I can not to resort to violence. My point in all of this is that girls ask "where are all the good guys?" And my response is to look closer. Think about the guys you find attractive and the traits you find attractive in them, and then think about where else these traits might be demonstrated without being plainly seen. Some guys are great salesmen and you notice them and are attracted to them, but the product they're selling isn't as good as their pitch. Other guys have a ton of depth and substance, but need a better marketing department. Then again, maybe you do notice and I'm just too oblivious to realize it. Edited July 8, 2013 by colejack Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts