Why are there no good guys left?

[MrTurk]

WOW you talking about "illogical" cracks me up. Your posts are so clueless it's funny. Look, it's VERY simple. We don't care where we are, if a man we find attractive approaches us in a non-creepy way we like it, period. If a man we don't find attractive approaches us, we usually wouldn't be too thrilled about it, again the location doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with how dolled up we are. The fact that you think it has again speaks of your lack of knowledge on women.

 

 

Everything that comes out of my mouth about women.....has either been witnessed by me, of women.....or women have told me themselves.

 

I do not just spew random crap out of my mouth and try to pass it off as written in stone.

 

I should post this disclaimer in my signature since I seem to have to repeat myself over and over. . . but here goes

 

Just because your experiences differ from mine....doesnt mean that I am wrong when I say that women have done this or that. If they have dont it, then its happened. If they told me this is how they feel...then its how they feel.

 

Now if you want to tell me that those women do not reflect your beliefs or your opinions, than thats fine. Everyone is allowed to disagree. But telling me I'm flat out wrong about it is illogical.

 

I'm sorry that I'm just the messenger....I wish I could have the women here to argue with you but thats not gonna happen.

[mesmerized]

Everything that comes out of my mouth about women.....has either been witnessed by me, of women.....or women have told me themselves.

 

I do not just spew random crap out of my mouth and try to pass it off as written in stone.

 

I should post this disclaimer in my signature since I seem to have to repeat myself over and over. . . but here goes

 

Just because your experiences differ from mine....doesnt mean that I am wrong when I say that women have done this or that. If they have dont it, then its happened. If they told me this is how they feel...then its how they feel.

 

Now if you want to tell me that those women do not reflect your beliefs or your opinions, than thats fine. Everyone is allowed to disagree. But telling me I'm flat out wrong about it is illogical.

 

I'm sorry that I'm just the messenger....I wish I could have the women here to argue with you but thats not gonna happen.

 

Yeah right. Women have told you that they wouldn't want a hot man liking them without makeup Even if they actually did which I'm sure they didn't, sometimes you have to learn to see the truth behind the words. Guess you lack that skill.

[veggirl]

People get into awesome relationships everyday. There are tons of good men and women out there. I agree with many that OLD like its a sport is probably a terrible idea and perhaps why you meet so many weirdos/asses.

 

If I remember correctly you typically meet the guys quite quickly? Maybe spend more time talking before you meet them and you could weed out some of the bad seeds? I mean you should have no problem getting a decent guy around 30+....

 

any chance you are coming off as jaded/cynical?

 

I mean mesmerized...very bitter and negative, I would imagine that is why "good guys" aren't attracted.

[Imajerk17]

I thought a bit more about what it is about this thread that irritates me.

 

ES I like you but you're trying to paint yourself as this innocent heroine. C'mon now. You have by your own admission flaked and disappeared and so have a few of the other lovely ladies of LS. You don't think *your*behavior has caused a decent guy to feel hurt and frustration?

 

Ladies stop for a second. Your pain isn't the only thing that matters here.

 

At least if you want to indulge in some self-pity think about the times your actions were hurtful to someone else.

[mesmerized]

I mean mesmerized...very bitter and negative, I would imagine that is why "good guys" aren't attracted.

 

Not negative, just realist. I said decent looking guys who have their **** together AND are MORAL and have good personalities are rare and I stand by what I said. Apparently it's not only my experience either but many other girls in this forum. Just because the veggie princess has a boyfriend doesn't mean she knows better than all of us. And you know nothing about me or how I come off in real. You know how people very often describe me in real? Confident, social and bubbly!

[Woggle]

Not negative, just realist. I said decent looking guys who have their **** together AND are MORAL and have good personalities are rare and I stand by what I said. Apparently it's not only my experience either but many other girls in this forum. Just because the veggie princess has a boyfriend doesn't mean she knows better than all of us. And you know nothing about me or how I come off in real. You know how people very often describe me in real? Confident, social and bubbly!

 

Most of the people who know me offline would never guess I have the issues I express on here as well. I am not judging because I have my own issue with negative views of the opposite sex but anybody who thinks the other sex is so awful while their own gender's crap doesn't stink needs to open their eyes.

[veggirl]

Not negative, just realist. I said decent looking guys who have their **** together AND are MORAL and have good personalities are rare and I stand by what I said. Apparently it's not only my experience either but many other girls in this forum. Just because the veggie princess has a boyfriend doesn't mean she knows better than all of us. And you know nothing about me or how I come off in real. You know how people very often describe me in real? Confident, social and bubbly!

 

wtf.

 

never said I know better than "all of us". is that what you say to everyone who offers an opinion? or just one that disagrees with yours?

 

aren't you 28? well "the veggie princess" met her bf when she was 28 so it happens and exists.

 

as far as your idea that you are one way here and another irl...okay...that's just like all the bitter betty dudes who claim they are happy-go-lucky irl.

 

all I'm saying is your core feelings come across, however subtly.

 

do you also think that girls who have their s.hit together and are moral and attractive are super rare? if so, then how can you be sure you are one of the rare ones?

[mesmerized]

wtf.

 

never said I know better than "all of us". is that what you say to everyone who offers an opinion? or just one that disagrees with yours?

 

aren't you 28? well "the veggie princess" met her bf when she was 28 so it happens and exists.

 

as far as your idea that you are one way here and another irl...okay...that's just like all the bitter betty dudes who claim they are happy-go-lucky irl.

 

all I'm saying is your core feelings come across, however subtly.

 

do you also think that girls who have their s.hit together and are moral and attractive are super rare? if so, then how can you be sure you are one of the rare ones?

 

lol, you can believe me or not. I don't talk about men and dating in real with men unless they are my best friends. A couple of years ago you would be right. I know I came off as bitter with a couple of guys. But I'm aware enough of myself to know "bitter" is definitely not a trait I'm projecting.

 

With women...I think the moral part might be the hardest to find same as it is with men. But in general women are more in need of relationships and are willing to sacrifice more for it than men do, they also have a biological clock that limits them severely. So yeah, I do believe finding a good woman for a relationship is easier mainly because women often can't afford to be bad for long! As for how can I be so sure I'm one of them... I know I'm moral because I am, this one thing I would know better than anyone else in my life, I know what good and bad I've done and I know how much morality is big for me. And yes, I also think I'm attractive, no super model but attractive enough and caring about how I look. As for having my **** together, I'm very independent and live on my own with a good job. Yes, a lot of things I should still work on but from an outsider point of view, I'm def not some ugly loser with no life.

Edited June 29, 2013 by mesmerized

[MomsSpaghetti]

Attraction for women isn't purely physical. It's about how a man makes you FEEL when you're around him.

 

How he makes you feel is related in part to his looks. Women like to be desired, yes --- desired by good-looking men. From what I can glean on internet forums including this one, a lot of women like having a tall, handsome boyfriend purely as a status symbol or to validate their physical attractiveness. An ugly guy wouldn't make you feel good if you knew he was the only type of guy you could attract.

[Ryan R.]

Good guy? Ooooh! Pick me! Pick me!

[Suave]

You rang?

[Eternal Sunshine]

Oh yes.

 

Mine was just as bad.

 

This dude started to randomly talk about Hollywood celebrities. He went on about how he never got why people saw them as good looking because ALL his ex gfs were better looking than Angelina Jolie. How he wouldn't even "root" 5% of celebrities because they didn't meet his beauty standards :eek:

 

Then he pulled out his phone and showed me pictures of his supposed exs.

 

Then he called a waiter "fa gg ot"

 

And grand finale was when he calmly told me that he"forgot" his wallet at home.

 

:sick:

 

I can't believe this.

 

Dude from this post just called me (we went out on Thursday night). He asked me out again for tomorrow night like everything was great. Does he really have no idea how he acted?

 

Wow some people

[pcplod]

Wow!

 

More than 240 responses in less than 24 hours! I'm sure it hasn't set any LS records, but, nevertheless, talk about lighting the blue touch paper and retiring to a safe distance!

 

On the actual topic. Actually, it is that hard (difficult). It always has been. Always will. It does require a lot of effort and a lot of determination. Oh, I get it, some people get lucky and they talk about how easy it was. How effortless. How hunky-dory. How chuffingly perfect and yummy. How obviously perfect they were that they attracted another perfect person, first time. Liars!

 

What is, I wonder, the opposite of the sleazy guy? Mr Asexual? Imm! There's yummy for you.

 

Eternal, have you ever heard of the term "Catastrophic Thinking"? If someone accused you of being a doom-monger, in respect of your own cause, do you think it would be totally unfair?

[Anela]

Women should grow the ovaries to approach. Try it.

 

Women with those ovaries, tend to want men with the balls to match them.

 

Good guys can possess those balls. Why should I approach you, or any other "nice guy"? This stuff goes both ways, you know.

[iris219]

Why does it seem every woman has to be dragged through the mud by jerks, liars, and losers before she's able to see the light??

 

 

Why cant women learn from others that have been through it, and just go for a good guy right from the start???

 

Why can't men just not be jerks, liars, and losers?

[Eternal Sunshine]

Wow!

 

More than 240 responses in less than 24 hours! I'm sure it hasn't set any LS records, but, nevertheless, talk about lighting the blue touch paper and retiring to a safe distance!

 

On the actual topic. Actually, it is that hard (difficult). It always has been. Always will. It does require a lot of effort and a lot of determination. Oh, I get it, some people get lucky and they talk about how easy it was. How effortless. How hunky-dory. How chuffingly perfect and yummy. How obviously perfect they were that they attracted another perfect person, first time. Liars!

 

What is, I wonder, the opposite of the sleazy guy? Mr Asexual? Imm! There's yummy for you.

 

Eternal, have you ever heard of the term "Catastrophic Thinking"? If someone accused you of being a doom-monger, in respect of your own cause, do you think it would be totally unfair?

 

There were more responses but many have been deleted

 

Oh I am the doom-monger. I was never exactly a bright ray of sunshine. I am mostly cynical. But in actual fact, I am a hard core romantic. I believe in true love, bunnies, rainbows and soul mates. Just don't tell anyone

[Emilia]

I'm not 100% comfortable talking about another poster while essentially right in front of them, but since I don't feel I'm attacking her (nor do I mean to), I'll continue. Take it from someone who has been posting here semi-consistently for six years: ES is not as rosy and nice in the relationship department as you're making her out to be, although she's not really the uber-shallow person that dasein makes her out to be either. If you had read her threads and posts from her prior incarnations here on LS, and even a few threads here and there posted by her with her current name, you would know what I'm talking about.

Meh, all of us that have been here for long enough are not that rosy. We all have our issues otherwise wouldn't bother with LS in the first place. Point out one regular here who isn't screwed up and I'll salute you.

The idea that good guys are just too boring and unattractive is silly. Would men consider a boring and unattractive woman a good choice?

 

Is it really so difficult to be well groomed, in shape, and have an interesting life to share?

 

Maybe the problem is laziness.

Yes

Yeah. Like I said, there is a lot of projection, a lot of association going on. They read something from a poster that reminds them of the girl that friend zoned them, or the guy that used them for sex. That's it. Opinion formed.

 

I have tried to limit my posting now to just giving advice as opposed to seeking it. Because even if I seek it, I won't get it.

Agreed 100%. Reading is better though if everyone took the same route, none of us would learn

I can't believe this.

 

Dude from this post just called me (we went out on Thursday night). He asked me out again for tomorrow night like everything was great. Does he really have no idea how he acted?

 

Wow some people

So are you game? :laugh:

[fortyninethousand322]

Why can't men just not be jerks, liars, and losers?

 

The men who are jerks, liars, and losers; that's just their nature.

 

Can't change it. And going by the looks of things, there are quite a few women who like those kinds of men (though not all women by any means). So why would they change?

[Emilia]

Really? I am seriously asking: if a person has conducted themselves in questionable or even bad ways in their life they've forever abandoned the right to take a moral stance on anything?

 

Thank goodness everybody doesn't believe that or I would be with a total bottom feeder of a man right now instead of my spectacular (and morally upright) husband. Who … had a serious mistake or two (or four) in his own past as well.

Not forever but this was my gripe with someone very recently. If you believe that something is wrong and you do it yourself, don't you lose the right to use to word integrity in reference to yourself? ie if you judge others for something that you are doing yourself, do you have the right to have a moral stance on it?

 

How far are you allowed to go back before someone calls you a hypocrite?

 

I don't know the answer which is why I'm asking. Obviously we all make mistakes especially when we are younger but when do the penalty points expire?

[joystickd]

Why can't men just not be jerks, liars, and losers?

Why can't women just not play games and be manipulative?

 

I always say this check your own gender. A man is a jerk, liar and loser because there are women that accept that behavior. You want men to stop that then as women you have to stop accepting. The thing is it can't be some women it has to be all. It's just like men complaining about golddiggers. If you want it to stop then stop dating with your wallet. That is one reason why bad behavior wont stop. Another is the cycle of bad behavior. Some people have bad behavior because they have experienced it and after experiencing it enough times decide to join the crowd. On some level that understand the common denominator is them but fail to change that in a positive way. They look at it like a equation. Y happened because I am X. If I change X then Y will happen. The sad thing is they do it because they see it happening but that is because they have a fixation on it and as humans when we focus on something we tend to see a lot of it and totally ignore any evidence that proves otherwise.

[Emilia]

A man is a jerk, liar and loser because there are women that accept that behavior.

I do agree with this. Weak boundaries have a lot to answer for.

[joystickd]

Not forever but this was my gripe with someone very recently. If you believe that something is wrong and you do it yourself, don't you lose the right to use to word integrity in reference to yourself? ie if you judge others for something that you are doing yourself, do you have the right to have a moral stance on it?

 

How far are you allowed to go back before someone calls you a hypocrite?

 

I don't know the answer which is why I'm asking. Obviously we all make mistakes especially when we are younger but when do the penalty points expire?

I would say no if it was one time. People are complex and at certain times will believe certain things. A man may not hate women and is respectful but something can happen so terrible that he will call her a bi**h or a c**t. Does that make him a man that hates women if he says it one time his whole life?

[Woggle]

Why can't men just not be jerks, liars, and losers?

 

Because honestly it does work. I won't stoop to that level but I never seem to see these guys struggling with anything in life women or otherwise. Go on Wall St and most of them are jerks and liars. Most politicians are like that. Most corporate executives are like that. Most guys having two or even three women fighting over him are jerks and liars. The men who aren't jerks or liars tend to work themselves to the bone for little pay and get used and by friends and romantic partners. Why would anybody these days not want to be a jerk when the rewards seem to be so great?

[Emilia]

I would say no if it was one time. People are complex and at certain times will believe certain things. A man may not hate women and is respectful but something can happen so terrible that he will call her a bi**h or a c**t. Does that make him a man that hates women if he says it one time his whole life?

but that's rarely just once, isn't it? When someone gets away with bad behaviour it's usually repeated I'd say

[Emilia]

Because honestly it does work.

I agree unfortunately.