Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Exactly my reaction Emilia The timing of that post was excellent. He is just a kid, a bit self centered and all that but just a kid Do you want me to PM you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 How does a lack of physical chemistry equate to ES (or anyone else for that matter) having a 'massive list of requirements' that no man seems to meet? Sometimes it just isn't there. Has nothing to do with looks. I could be standing in a room with Ryan Reynolds right now and not feel the slightest physical attraction. I read that thread when it was first created and nowhere did I ever see anyone state (especially ES) that the chemistry wasn't there because he was aggressive, rich, fit, hot, etc enough. Thanks. Yes, I gave that guy a real shot and tried to get to know him hoping that the attraction will grow. But I wa truly forcing myself to even hold hands with him, let alone do anything else. It just wasn't there at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I hear you ES. I had a date night before last that was a total nightmare. The dude thought that speaking in a fake Irish accent was funny. It might have been for a few minutes, but he dragged it on. And on. And on. When it came time to order something to eat, he said he didn't want to pay for two entrees and that we should split something. Huh? I mean, I'm perfectly capable of paying for my own entree - but whatever. Then he asked if I'm 4/20 friendly. I said yes. Then he asked if I had some. I said no. Then he suggested that I get on the horn with my friends and see if we could score some. He actually took my phone and asked who in my contacts he should start texting. To top it all off, he knocked a drink all over my lap, didn't apologize or offer to get me another one, and by that time I had had it so I asked for the check, paid it myself, told him I was going home, and walked out. Yes - this was the younger dude I posted about the other day. I'm about to give up. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 The timing of that post was excellent. He is just a kid, a bit self centered and all that but just a kid Do you want me to PM you? Yes please. Maybe I can provide some comfort 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Yes please. Maybe I can provide some comfort I thought it was the other way round but sending PM shortly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 No, the numerous 'nice guys' I was referring to that come here aren't nice at all. They confuse nice to be a synonym for any of the following: 1) Passivity 2) Passive-aggression 3) Conflict-avoidance 4) Lack of willpower 5) Inability to communicate 6) Clinginess 7) Unreasonable preoccupation with sex/losing ones virginity ...The list goes on. It's the cant of half the men who post here that they can't find a woman because they're just nice guys and women don't want them. Never taking into account that they don't fully understand what a nice guy actually is. "Nice" guys have to realize the saying I learned "Momma was wrong". 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 It's pretty inconvenient and fairly unrewarding to do so. It can be disappointing when one's target audience is disappointing. He was evidently attractive enough to get a date so, of the men who meet your standard of attractiveness and high interest, you chose this one to try out. Sorry it turned out to be disappointing. The good news is you've evidently gone out on a lot of dates, which means not only are men presenting themselves for inspection, a good number you deem attractive are presenting themselves. It'll work out. Having been through some of this back in my 30's, I'm a bit envious that you're actually meeting and dating apparently single men. I would have considered that a rousing success no matter how the dates turned out. In the big scheme of life, there are generally very few people one experiences marked synergy and mutual care and love with, so it follows that one should expect a lot of less than positive experiences. Another option is the one which AtheistScholar has apparently chosen, which is also my current choice, that being to self-select out of the dating circle and move on to other things in life. Good luck. Carhill, thanks for the thoughtful post. I am happier and more at peace when I pick "no dating" route. So I may join you and AtheistScholar :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 "Nice" guys have to realize the saying I learned "Momma was wrong". I have certainly noticed that a lot of men have hung onto their mums perhaps a bit longer than would have served them well. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Also - all of the self-proclaimed "nice guys" type out the most volatile, hateful posts I've ever read about women. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I hear you ES. I had a date night before last that was a total nightmare. The dude thought that speaking in a fake Irish accent was funny. It might have been for a few minutes, but he dragged it on. And on. And on. When it came time to order something to eat, he said he didn't want to pay for two entrees and that we should split something. Huh? I mean, I'm perfectly capable of paying for my own entree - but whatever. Then he asked if I'm 4/20 friendly. I said yes. Then he asked if I had some. I said no. Then he suggested that I get on the horn with my friends and see if we could score some. He actually took my phone and asked who in my contacts he should start texting. To top it all off, he knocked a drink all over my lap, didn't apologize or offer to get me another one, and by that time I had had it so I asked for the check, paid it myself, told him I was going home, and walked out. Yes - this was the younger dude I posted about the other day. I'm about to give up. Ha. I don't know. If I was trolling the interwebs for younger women I wouldn't complain if I met up with some immature potheads with poor manners and no class. That's just me though. Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I have certainly noticed that a lot of men have hung onto their mums perhaps a bit longer than would have served them well. If you notice there is a correlation between these type of guys and guys that were momma's boys or just exclusively raised by their mothers. Some women give out ideal advice not real advice to men about dating women. Mothers are often the ones who do it. Often when they learn reality and get really successful they are met by conflict with female relatives. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Ha. I don't know. If I was trolling the interwebs for younger women I wouldn't complain if I met up with some immature potheads with poor manners and no class. That's just me though. Excuse me? Trolling the interwebs? This guy reached out to ME. And his profile was thoughtful, funny, articulate, and he seemed very well educated. So I gave it a shot. This does not excuse someone from acting with decency and basic manners. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 There are good guys out there. I have been with one for 16 years. He's kind, good with animals and kids (although neither of us want a kid), awesome with computers, very bright, articulate, funny, educated, has a good job, etc. He's also lazy and unambitious about some things, but it's ok because I'm very ambitious and I'm the one who does the leading. I like it that way. Do we sometimes drive each other crazy? Of course. And I wouldn't say there's a "spark" there, not after 16 years, but there is a very, very deep love. I know we're never, ever going to part ways. I can't even explain it. He's seen me at my worst, he's seen me at my best, and he wakes me up every morning say, "Morning, beautiful/hon/sweetie." We've done some crazy things together, usually initiated by me, but he's always in for the ride! It took me 38 years to realize that the guys I thought were the ones I wanted were the ones who were very bad for me, no matter how nice they seemed, no matter how good-looking and "exciting" they were. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I get to know guys as friends before I go out on dates with them. At least, that's what I did when I met the best guys among the ones I've dated. Also, and this is not aimed at ANYONE, but I finally realized what a true "good guy" was once I was fully complete and happy with not being with anyone. I wasn't longing for anything anymore. It's hard to explain. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Maybe instead of looking for a good guy you find a good man. Guy sounds too much like hey lets go out have a few drinks then get butt naked and have sex. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen34 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Dragoness, I completely agree with you about the texting/messaging when you give a guy your number. It's like now days sex is everything, I would like for once a man to have a conversation about ME and general interest in ME, vs. sexting within the first day or two that we start talking. What happened to a man wanting to impress a woman by showing her some respect? BUt you are right, for every girl that thinks this way, there are 5 other ones who initiate the sexting right away so guys think this is what we want! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Dragoness, I completely agree with you about the texting/messaging when you give a guy your number. It's like now days sex is everything, I would like for once a man to have a conversation about ME and general interest in ME, vs. sexting within the first day or two that we start talking. What happened to a man wanting to impress a woman by showing her some respect? BUt you are right, for every girl that thinks this way, there are 5 other ones who initiate the sexting right away so guys think this is what we want! I know with guys it's more about knowing you are really into them. If we kind of wait around usually were are friendzoned. It's about finding that balance between being sexual and wanting to be respectful but that is hard when there is so much confusing action coming from women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 I hear you ES. I had a date night before last that was a total nightmare. The dude thought that speaking in a fake Irish accent was funny. It might have been for a few minutes, but he dragged it on. And on. And on. When it came time to order something to eat, he said he didn't want to pay for two entrees and that we should split something. Huh? I mean, I'm perfectly capable of paying for my own entree - but whatever. Then he asked if I'm 4/20 friendly. I said yes. Then he asked if I had some. I said no. Then he suggested that I get on the horn with my friends and see if we could score some. He actually took my phone and asked who in my contacts he should start texting. To top it all off, he knocked a drink all over my lap, didn't apologize or offer to get me another one, and by that time I had had it so I asked for the check, paid it myself, told him I was going home, and walked out. Yes - this was the younger dude I posted about the other day. I'm about to give up. Oh yes. Mine was just as bad. This dude started to randomly talk about Hollywood celebrities. He went on about how he never got why people saw them as good looking because ALL his ex gfs were better looking than Angelina Jolie. How he wouldn't even "root" 5% of celebrities because they didn't meet his beauty standards :eek: Then he pulled out his phone and showed me pictures of his supposed exs. Then he called a waiter "fa gg ot" And grand finale was when he calmly told me that he"forgot" his wallet at home. :sick: 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 OP I think you started this same thread before. And I am pretty sure I posted something like this there. Have you had a date where you didn't meet the guy online? I know for men, online dating is just stupid unless you're some ass clown or ultra shy guy with little oppertunity because you are incapable of making oppertunity happen or you're just looking for sex and are willing to do so with crazy women and high repetition. So, as a result it is also bad for women. Or maybe its a circle that feeds on itself. Like a snake with a head at both ends eating itself, which I am having problems picturing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I love you ES. I have been ranting to thewholigan for days now about the same issue. I think its also our age group but maybe not. But a decent looking man with good morals and personality who has his life somewhat together is extremely rare to find. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I hear you ES. I had a date night before last that was a total nightmare. The dude thought that speaking in a fake Irish accent was funny. It might have been for a few minutes, but he dragged it on. And on. And on. When it came time to order something to eat, he said he didn't want to pay for two entrees and that we should split something. Huh? I mean, I'm perfectly capable of paying for my own entree - but whatever. Then he asked if I'm 4/20 friendly. I said yes. Then he asked if I had some. I said no. Then he suggested that I get on the horn with my friends and see if we could score some. He actually took my phone and asked who in my contacts he should start texting. To top it all off, he knocked a drink all over my lap, didn't apologize or offer to get me another one, and by that time I had had it so I asked for the check, paid it myself, told him I was going home, and walked out. Yes - this was the younger dude I posted about the other day. I'm about to give up. Wow, just wow. That sounds awful. I hate wasting an evening out with guys like that. Staying home in pjs would have been better and less depressing, I'm sure. I spent years going on dates similar to the one above. Each one was a disaster and I started to wonder how bad it could get. I finally stopped trying to date and when I did my current bf found me. There is hope! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Oh yes. Mine was just as bad. This dude started to randomly talk about Hollywood celebrities. He went on about how he never got why people saw them as good looking because ALL his ex gfs were better looking than Angelina Jolie. How he wouldn't even "root" 5% of celebrities because they didn't meet his beauty standards :eek: Then he pulled out his phone and showed me pictures of his supposed exs. Then he called a waiter "fa gg ot" And grand finale was when he calmly told me that he"forgot" his wallet at home. :sick: Holy crap! I had bad dates but nothing like this lol 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Yes I must admit I've never had dates like described on this thread but I think partly because I cut a lot of guys off before it gets this far so I date less basically. Maybe more boring but less traumatic by the sound of it Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Mostly because we get snapped up crazy fast. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Oh yes. Mine was just as bad. This dude started to randomly talk about Hollywood celebrities. He went on about how he never got why people saw them as good looking because ALL his ex gfs were better looking than Angelina Jolie. How he wouldn't even "root" 5% of celebrities because they didn't meet his beauty standards :eek: Then he pulled out his phone and showed me pictures of his supposed exs. Then he called a waiter "fa gg ot" And grand finale was when he calmly told me that he"forgot" his wallet at home. :sick: Partially women are to blame to create monsters like this Link to post Share on other sites
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