carhill Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I finally stopped trying to date and when I did my current bf found me. There is hope! Perhaps this is excellent advice for a woman in the dating market, so applicable to the OP, but I haven't seen it work in any demonstrable way for a man, mainly because available women in general don't approach men in a romantic way. Since I quit dating back in the spring of 2010, the only women who've approached me have been married or LTR'ed and the same with those who have flirted or otherwise inferred or stated any sexual interest. They weren't available. This is unremarkable in my demographic and perhaps doesn't apply to a more universally attractive man but I'll throw it out as an anecdote. I used to hear similar advice a generation ago and, to my own detriment, followed it. That's about the time I stopped taking dating advice from women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Mostly because we get snapped up crazy fast. Glad you put yourself on the good guy list GT just kidding 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 This may not make you feel better, but I found one! When I was 50. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 OP I think you started this same thread before. And I am pretty sure I posted something like this there. Have you had a date where you didn't meet the guy online? I know for men, online dating is just stupid unless you're some ass clown or ultra shy guy with little oppertunity because you are incapable of making oppertunity happen or you're just looking for sex and are willing to do so with crazy women and high repetition. So, as a result it is also bad for women. Or maybe its a circle that feeds on itself. Like a snake with a head at both ends eating itself, which I am having problems picturing. But its also hard to meet men other than online these days. Men don't have the balls to approach. I had a guy from my gym messaging me on OLD to ask me out that way even tho he had been seeing me in the gym lol Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 But its also hard to meet men other than online these days. Men don't have the balls to approach. I had a guy from my gym messaging me on OLD to ask me out that way even tho he had been seeing me in the gym lol Do any of you gals have any way of meeting guys outside OLD? I'm trying to scrape together an ounce of sympathy from the four corners of my heart and I just can't. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Do any of you gals have any way of meeting guys outside OLD? I'm trying to scrape together an ounce of sympathy from the four corners of my heart and I just can't. I had 5 years of awful dates and I've never done OLD. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Do any of you gals have any way of meeting guys outside OLD? I'm trying to scrape together an ounce of sympathy from the four corners of my heart and I just can't. I dont. Im relatively new where I live and dont have a big social circle. The few people I know here are also new to the city and have no social circle. So there is really only bars for me and OLD. I get 20 yo kids approaching me out and about but thats not exactly what im looking for, I need to meet young professionals with a life of their own, you know, someone like myself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 You will find several instances on here of me "dissing" Facebook, for a number of reasons. But, my husband and I had a lot of mutual friends, turns out I went to school with his brother, we grew up about two miles from each other, and the rest is history. Without even befriending, we found we had a lot in common as we found ourselves commenting on the same posts. He "stalked" me for a while, I friended him, and the rest, well, can't say enough great things about it! Life is funny. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MeltedValdor Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I'm a honest and nice guy look for a woman that's mature but here's my dilemma, I'm 20 try to date women from 22-27 but they don't want a guy under 21 and when I find women that'll date a guy my age they don't like me because I don't party. I'm in a damn rut and I don't think I'm getting out of it. It honestly makes me depressed. Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Why do people have no morals or ethics? I just wish I understood. I don't think women are better but my focus is not women. I had a date last night with this sleazy, slimy guy that just made me want to Every guy I dated in the past year, you could tell in the FIRST month that something was seriously off. Most often significant lies and inconsistencies. I only came across one guy that showed himself to be sincere and genuine (the one I dated recently) but unfortunately I had zero physical chemistry with him It shouldn't be THIS hard to come across someone decent. Especially because I believe myself to be kind, moral and good hearted person. You are the common denominator. Choose your path: Keep doing things the way that you've always done them and hope that the law of large numbers yields a different outcome. -OR- Change something up that will have a direct effect on your outcomes. It really is that easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Ripnet Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 You are the common denominator. Choose your path: Keep doing things the way that you've always done them and hope that the law of large numbers yields a different outcome. -OR- Change something up that will have a direct effect on your outcomes. It really is that easy. She probably doesn't want to change. Asking these kind of questions will never solve the problem. It will usually make it worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I have gotten very good at throwing out bad ones. This is something I wasn't doing when I was younger and wasted wayyyyyy too much time. The problem is, once you throw out bad ones, there is nothing left :/ Most women won't admit this. Props for honesty Link to post Share on other sites
Ripnet Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I love you ES. I have been ranting to thewholigan for days now about the same issue. I think its also our age group but maybe not. But a decent looking man with good morals and personality who has his life somewhat together is extremely rare to find. Well stop looking in the trash! Trashy mind, trashy dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Easyguy14 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Why do people have no morals or ethics? I just wish I understood. I don't think women are better but my focus is not women. I had a date last night with this sleazy, slimy guy that just made me want to Every guy I dated in the past year, you could tell in the FIRST month that something was seriously off. Most often significant lies and inconsistencies. I only came across one guy that showed himself to be sincere and genuine (the one I dated recently) but unfortunately I had zero physical chemistry with him It shouldn't be THIS hard to come across someone decent. Especially because I believe myself to be kind, moral and good hearted person. Dont you mean 'why aren't any good guys left that I'm attracted to?' as I think makes more sense since you're the same lady that rejected plenty of nice yet unattractively boring men in your past threads. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Don't you mean 'why aren't any good guys left that I'm attracted to?' This makes much more sense, of course. Ultimately, we are the ones that create the barriers to finding that special person. We want all of the intangible trappings that come with a 'good' person, but we are also very much influenced by the colorful bows and ribbons that come wrapped around the person we are looking for. Anything wrong with that? No, not inherently. We have preferences. But those preferences are also a hindrance. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I wonder if the guys who weren't interested in me thought I was absolutely lacking in morals. Is possible. But then, doesn't it mean we simply weren't compatible? Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 What was the occupation of the guy you met last night? What were the occupations of the jerks you'd been out with, and the one guy who was decent? May seem out of left field, but I'm actually going somewhere with this. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 The truth is, most "good guys" that are worth dating are snatched up pretty early. After that, you have to look a long while for the ones that weren't. It's basically the equivalent of trying to find valuable items at a yard sale. You might get lucky sometimes, but it's very hard... Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I wonder if the guys who weren't interested in me thought I was absolutely lacking in morals. Is possible. But then, doesn't it mean we simply weren't compatible? Hard to say. However this is a better question to ask as it begins to focus on the root issue, not the symptom(s). Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Hard to say. However this is a better question to ask as it begins to focus on the root issue, not the symptom(s). The thing is, I consider myself a very moral person. I'm willing to bet most people actually consider themselves decent human beings. So, in cases where one is indeed acting in accordance with their own morals and values, I vote for incompatibility. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Why would I be good when I can be an ******* and get plenty of tail? They say some mumbo jumbo about low self esteem or something but I don't care. A hot girl is a hot girl, rite? The new kid has a point! Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I agree that morality is a huge problem in society in general. I don't wish for "moral codes" to be laid on us by religion or the state, and I think it's positive that people can forge their own and live with the consequences or lack of them. I don't see morality as black and white. But it seems like a huge population of people just are NOT either following traditional morals, or forging their own. Pretty amoral out there, and downright immoral sometimes. It seems like being very self serving, short sighted and weak is "normal." I'm glad I'm not trying to date. Still, I KNOW that there are good people looking for other good people WHERE THERE'S MUTUAL ATTRACTION. Needle in haystack scenario, but you can find the needles - for sure. SIDE NOTE: Guys who think it's worthy of a spiteful jab when a woman clearly wants to be with a man with whom she has a feeling of attraction. Get over it. That is not "bad" or "shallow," it's as it should be. I'm sorry if you haven't experienced women feeling attracted to you, and I'm sincere about that. But that does not go back to women who require attraction to have a relationship being messed up. Ok? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 im suffering from depression kevin obviously ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 SIDE NOTE: Guys who think it's worthy of a spiteful jab when a woman clearly wants to be with a man with whom she has a feeling of attraction. Get over it. That is not "bad" or "shallow," it's as it should be. I'm sorry if you haven't experienced women feeling attracted to you, and I'm sincere about that. But that does not go back to women who require attraction to have a relationship being messed up. Ok? Agreed. The thing to me though is women who constantly complain or talk about how "desperate" they are for love or a relationship or whatever, but are in fact very picky. ES does not fall into this category so I would never accuse her of that. It's just a general thing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 The thing to me though is women who constantly complain or talk about how "desperate" they are for love or a relationship or whatever, but are in fact very picky. I agree … and I assume we both agree that it's equally exhausting to read the threads from the terminally lonely fellers who are about to jump off a bridge due to lack of feminine companionship, yet have very precise physical standards. AND also stay busy complaining about the women who are rejecting THEM on the basis of the women's OWN standards. That's a … DOUBLE STANDARD! No matter who's doing it. Sorry - did not intend to derail your thread ES. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts