Cassi416 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 My boyfriend broke up with me after I truthfully confessed to cheating. The day it happened I was mad because he came to school hungover. I hung out with my guy friend and as I was venting my frustration my guy friend kissed me. In the heat of the moment I kissed him back. I told him the entire truth. After my friend kissed me I told him no and don't do that again. The guilt was killing me so I told my boyfriend a couple nights ago. Wednesday night he was acting on emotion and ended it. I tried everything for him to give me another chance. Yesterday, our friend Joe tried talking to him, he just walked by and said "I already told her I'm not taking her back." I called my boyfriend's mother and she told me he's hurting pretty bad but she knows he still loves me. Brian (bf) isn't talking to anyone. But, his mom is fond of me and isn't mad, because she knows everyone's been there and she's happy I told the truth. Brian just told her we got in an argument. I asked his mom nicely to have him call me in two weeks and she said she would. I don't want to just throw away the nine wonderful months I spent with Brian. My guy friend apologized, I apologized, and he still isn't talking, not even to his cousin. What can I do so he'll take me back and do you think he'll take me back? Kissing my friend was the BIGGEST and DUMBEST mistake of my life. And Brian knows this. What can I do and do you think he'd take me back? Would he even call? Please help :'( Last night I wrote a 3 page long apology letter that I plan to read to him to his face. If I can't to his face over the phone is fine too. Would apologizing help make the situation better? I don't want Brian to return to drinking his pain away. He was right about the guy friend and I want him back so bad. Please, please help me. Should I apologize today? Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 He's going to need to work through the anger before he can put things in perspective. His pride is wounded. If you've already apologized I don't think it's going to do much good to apologize over and over until he's calmed down and starts to miss you. I'd give him some time and space and try to present your apology when he is receptive. This isn't the worst thing that ever happened... it was a kiss, a momentary lapse that you recognized immediately and sincerely regret. You've done all you can for now, just give him a chance to realize that he doesn't want to lose you and make up when he's ready to talk about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cassi416 Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 Oops! I tried to apologize but he just ignored me or erased the text so he didn't see it. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 You've confessed and apologized. Your guy friend has apologized. There's nothing more you can do. You crossed a line, knew it, and owned it. It's not the worst thing in the world. Does Brian have a drinking problem? If so, it will really inhibit his ability to process emotions properly. Give him time. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 WOW, This is the second post today where a teenager is acting with more honesty and respect toward their partner than most of the adults I know. You get a big thumbs up for that part . It sounds like he's very angry at you right now. His anger will most likely subside in time and when it does he may decide to give you another chance. Now is the part where you a learn a tough lesson; he may not take you back. As I said earlier, all of the kudos in the world to you for coming clean and not lying about it. Unfortunately, too many adults who know better know full well if they took responsibility for their actions it would result in consequences they do not like, so they continue to lie and betray and rationalize their actions. The reason I'm bringing it up is because if this guy doesn't take you back I do not want the lesson you take from all of this to become "Next time, lie about it and keep it hidden." Instead, I'd much prefer you learn "Don't kiss someone because I'm in a vulnerable position." Everyone makes mistakes. Learn the right lesson from this and not the wrong one and respect his need for space right now. You can't make his mother or friends win him back for you. It has to come from him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cassi416 Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 @hoping2heal I didn't really get the chance to apologize, which I did through text, because most likely he erased it without even looking. Would it be too wrong to want to sort it out face to face? All of this happened over texting, the break up, everything. I love him so much and I can't stand to be without him. I believe that God put me on this Earth to love and cherish Brian for as long as I live and I will do just that. I think that if him and I are in a quiet place and alone, we may be able to calmly talk it out, and then agree to have no contact with each other for X amount of days and then presume trying to assess the situation properly and maturely. With high hopes of getting back together. Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 While I think you made all the wrong choices when kissing your best friend I really admire honest people... you can have a weak moment and if your boyfriend has it in his heart to forgive you he will at least know that you are a honest person! Do you realize that if your boyfriend decides to take you back your friendship with your guy friend needs to be over right? You burned that breach when you kissed him... Have you thought about that? Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 bump for the thread starter Link to post Share on other sites
AverageCat Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 Let me guess, you're in high school. Oohh high school love... or whatever it is, i dont think love is an appropriate word. Anyway, don't think too much about the outcome, but rather how you can grow from this. Q: How can you grow from this?? A: Don't get so close to guy friends as to them be able to kiss you. Whenever I ask my gf how come she has almost never made out with a stranger, she says between knowing a person and making out there's a million steps. You surely have had those million steps done with your close guy friend... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cassi416 Posted July 1, 2013 Author Share Posted July 1, 2013 @therhythm Yes, haha I am aware that I can no longer be friends with the guy who kissed me. Any contact with him in my phone or iPod has been permanently erased. Link to post Share on other sites
JustAReformedGirl Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 While I understand that sometimes writing it out can help you say things in a more precise manner, it would be better to say a heartfelt apology to his face, rather than handing him a letter. You told him the truth about the kiss, and you've owned up to your mistake; he may just need time to sort his feelings out. However, there is only so much you can do; you can control your side of things, but you can't control his decision-making process. If he decides not to get back together with you, the only option left will be to move on. What you did was far from the worst thing anyone could do in a relationship. Hurtful, yes, but it certainly doesn't make you a bad person. You made a mistake, and you sought to rectify it. Forgive yourself, even if you don't wind up back together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cassi416 Posted July 1, 2013 Author Share Posted July 1, 2013 @Rebel-Dynasty I tried reading it to his face but he said he would read it and I understood. Him and I are now friends and are planning a beach day on the 5th who knows, we might make up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JustAReformedGirl Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Good to hear. I wish you luck, and keep us updated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Yes you made a mistake, one mistake, by kissing another guy when you were supposed to be in a relationship with your boyfriend but at the same time if you really loved your boyfriend, would you even be kissing this other guy at all? Maybe you aren't willing to admit that during that kiss you had chemistry with this other guy but I bet any money that during that kiss you had some inkling of feelings there because if you didn't, then why do it at all? But at the same time it was in the heat of the moment so I won't hold it against you but at the same time how would you feel if your boyfriend kissed another girl and you found out about it, you would be just as angry if not angrier than he is right now, because you betrayed him and for guys with us to get over betrayal it generally takes us a long time to get over it because it is always going to be in the back of our minds Link to post Share on other sites
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