Maffy Posted December 21, 2000 Share Posted December 21, 2000 My boyfriend of 6 weeks (10 dates)suggested we could take a one-week vacation trip somewhere warm and sunny over the holidays... I was very surprised because we have been taking things very slow. And he's not one to express much emotion so it's hard to know how he feel's. Im afraid to burn some stages by going away with him... But it seems like im the only one to think that way... people dont understand why i dont just go with the flow, and enjoy the moment. It just seems a little fast to me.. Any thoughts ?!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 21, 2000 Share Posted December 21, 2000 Nobody in the entire world can make this decision but you. If you don't feel comfortable with it, or if you feel doing so will "burn some stages," don't do it. Pay not a morsel of attention to anyone else. You have to go with your own feelings. On the face of it, it seems like a fun thing to do...but that's my way of thinking. But I'm not considering such a trip, you are. Link to post Share on other sites
D Posted December 21, 2000 Share Posted December 21, 2000 Well, go with your heart, not by the rules! I had a girl-friend, I dated her for like 2 months, and then I wanted to move on to next stage, and she took it way toooo slooow, and after four months of dating, when she agreed to have sexual relations with me, I was already not very interested.... We broke up.... both extremes could be devastating 6 weeks seems very reasonable. Don't think too much, act...or else, you will end up like my Ex, who is alone now I am dating someone else, who is more natural and we have a great relationship! Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted December 21, 2000 Share Posted December 21, 2000 Maffy, Try not to put your relationships on a timeline or follow any "stages". Each relationship goes by a different clock, each person is different. Don't think about whether you'll "burn any stages". If you feel you're moving too fast and feel uncomfortable, then don't go. But tell him honestly and straight up why you're not ready to go yet. But if you think you'll enjoy yourself with this person, then focus on that and have a good time on the trip. A week long trip can heat up things for you two, and there is a big chance he will want to have sex. If you want to go on a trip and not have sex, then tell him in advance. In any case, discussing the matter is always the best thing. I dated a guy for 2 loong years, and the most we ever did was kiss. That's it. Heck...we didn't even kiss until a few months into our relationship. But my current boyfriend...I could hardly keep my hands off him after just a few dates. That just goes to show you each and every single relationship is different. So don't put your relationship on a timelimit. Go with the flow. Do what feels natural. Do what you want to do, and when you feel ready to do it. If you do decide to go, talk to him about what's worrying or bothering you. It's always great to communicate openly. It will bring you closer with him. Have a great trip. Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted December 21, 2000 Share Posted December 21, 2000 Travelling with a person can throw the relationship into a new light. You will be with him for the greater part of every day (and possibly the night) for a whole week. From my own experience, that can destroy a relationship, if it is not based on a lot of knowledge about the other person. I once was invited to England with someone I knew for 6 months (to meet his family). While I was there with him, I was exposed to how he really behaved on a daily basis (instead of just on romantic dates and limited outings). I ended up wanting to hang out with his mother and other family memebers, who were much nicer people than he was. We barely spoke to each other on the way home and I was so glad to get away from him finally! So you are right about having trepidations about such an undertaking as a week-long trip. It is not something to take lightly. Maffy, Try not to put your relationships on a timeline or follow any "stages". Each relationship goes by a different clock, each person is different. Don't think about whether you'll "burn any stages". If you feel you're moving too fast and feel uncomfortable, then don't go. But tell him honestly and straight up why you're not ready to go yet. But if you think you'll enjoy yourself with this person, then focus on that and have a good time on the trip. A week long trip can heat up things for you two, and there is a big chance he will want to have sex. If you want to go on a trip and not have sex, then tell him in advance. In any case, discussing the matter is always the best thing. I dated a guy for 2 loong years, and the most we ever did was kiss. That's it. Heck...we didn't even kiss until a few months into our relationship. But my current boyfriend...I could hardly keep my hands off him after just a few dates. That just goes to show you each and every single relationship is different. So don't put your relationship on a timelimit. Go with the flow. Do what feels natural. Do what you want to do, and when you feel ready to do it. If you do decide to go, talk to him about what's worrying or bothering you. It's always great to communicate openly. It will bring you closer with him. Have a great trip. Link to post Share on other sites
mon Posted December 23, 2000 Share Posted December 23, 2000 I agree with Sparkle 100%...i dated a guy for 41/2 years and we did not kiss untill 4 months into the relationship and did not have sex until 3 years into it, i was dating this new guy for 3 months and we did more together then my ex and i ever did.....follow you gut and don't do anything that you feel uncomfortable doing...if he likes you he'll understand...enjoy your trip and be safe....good luck with your decision...Mon Link to post Share on other sites
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