When to stand up for my girlfriend

[Thierro]

There are times when I walk down the street with my girlfriend that some people will make fun of her/us. Just yesterday a group of three drunken 25(?) year olds were making sexual remarks at her. I ignored it and put my arm around my girlfriend and kept walking.

 

Sometimes people will call us ugly out of nothing. I tell my girlfriend that they are being foolish and that the both of us are pretty hot.

 

A week ago a group of approximately 7 guy’s were making fun of a hat she was wearing. I ignored it.

 

What do I do in situations like this? Do I stand up for her? I don’t want to escalate it and get beaten up (people here are aggressive), but I don’t want to let my girlfriend think that I can’t stand up for her or that I let people walk all over me.

 

Any ideas?

 

to*

[Arabella]

I think you did the right thing, honestly. You were outnumbered every time. If the situation escalated, the odds would be severely against you. It's not worth getting beaten up for defending your girlfriend's hat.

 

Just make sure you reassure her when stuff like this happens, which sounds like you're already doing anyways.

 

However, I can't help but wonder what kinda place you live in that this happens so frequently...

[Thierro]

I think you did the right thing, honestly. You were outnumbered every time. If the situation escalated, the odds would be severely against you. It's not worth getting beaten up for defending your girlfriend's hat.

 

Just make sure you reassure her when stuff like this happens, which sounds like you're already doing anyways.

 

However, I can't help but wonder what kinda place you live in that this happens so frequently...

 

Thank's for responding. I don't understand why people do things like that as well. Eventually I'll leave this place for what it is.

[tman666]

Unless you can do

(don't count on it), "standing up to" a group of drunk guys is only going to lead to you getting hopelessly made fun of at best, or getting your ass kicked/killed at the worst. It also puts her in danger.

 

Drunk guys in groups tend to be overly bold. They are very, very unlikely to back down or apologize. Even if you were enough of a brawler to "win" such an encounter through physical means (which in a situation like this is nearly impossible), you'd still be opening yourself up for legal repercussions.

 

I would do your best not to get yourself in situations where you have to deal with those kinds of things in the first place.

 

Above all though, I wouldn't engage them unless they were physically harming you or her.

 

If your girl expects you to fire back at a group of 7 aggressive drunkards to prove that you aren't a pussy, then I'd reconsider your relationship with her.

 

As tempting as it would be to smash a pint glass into one of their skulls, the smartest thing to do is leave the situation, or hopefully, avoid the situation in the first place.

 

Putting myself in your shoes, I hope I would have the self control to do that, difficult as it may be.

[todreaminblue]

no loving girlfriend would ever want you to be beaten up simply due to words.......I have mainly gone out with guys who make me feel safe.......maybe that is soem kind of problem on my behalf that i have.......but that is the way i am....i would never expect a guy to stand up over idiotic behavior.......i just like to know if a defense situation arises.....i wont be standing there alone that the guy i am with will stand by me.......taunting teasing name calling even sexual innuendo isnt a reason to stand up.......ignorance is best with these types..you cant reason with someone who has is drunk or brainless.....the best option is to walk away.....but...if that drunk brainless idiot were to escalate in to the physical and there was no chance of walking away, i would like to know i am not in it alone and the guy i am with is not a guy i need to stand in front of.....rather him stand beside me than behind me..i think most girls and your girlfriend would want and expect you to walk away from words.......deb

Edited June 28, 2013 by todreaminblue

[Nik1]

I'm just curious as to why so many people make fun of you, do you and your girl have elephantiasis or something? I just can't imagine people being that brazen for no particular reason. Me and my ex were never once targeted for ridicule despite both being fatties. But if there had been, I would've whooped some ass (or at least tried to). I can think of two instances where I was forced to do so: Once, early in the relationship, these guys were trying to throw popcorn down the front of her shirt (very noticeable cleavage) and I ended up chasing them out of the theater. The next time was at the park and these three teenagers stole a hat from her younger brother's friend and I had to tell them to kick rocks and they complied. For some reason, many people find me intimidating when, in fact, I'm a complete pussy. But still, when it comes to my significant other, I don't take any **** and neither should you. I say stand up to anyone who tries ****ing with you like that again. So what if you get beat up? Your girl will really appreciate the gesture and you'll forget all about the bruises once she treats you to a blowjob.

 

You mentioned that people were very aggressive around you, where's that, Chernobyl?

[TouchedByViolet]

What you did is totally fine. If you can think of some intelligent and funny response then use it but definitely don't come off as aggressive. No reason to try to fight a group of kids who are being jack asses. Seems odd that it happens frequently though.

[hppr]

I'm just curious as to why so many people make fun of you, do you and your girl have elephantiasis or something? I just can't imagine people being that brazen for no particular reason. Me and my ex were never once targeted for ridicule despite both being fatties. But if there had been, I would've whooped some ass (or at least tried to). I can think of two instances where I was forced to do so: Once, early in the relationship, these guys were trying to throw popcorn down the front of her shirt (very noticeable cleavage) and I ended up chasing them out of the theater. The next time was at the park and these three teenagers stole a hat from her younger brother's friend and I had to tell them to kick rocks and they complied. For some reason, many people find me intimidating when, in fact, I'm a complete pussy. But still, when it comes to my significant other, I don't take any **** and neither should you. I say stand up to anyone who tries ****ing with you like that again. So what if you get beat up? Your girl will really appreciate the gesture and you'll forget all about the bruises once she treats you to a blowjob.

 

You mentioned that people were very aggressive around you, where's that, Chernobyl?

 

Yeah does this guy live in a bad part of town or something? Only places I can think of where stuff like that has happened to me has been the crap parts of town where the gangbanging brothers hang out.

 

edit: it's not hard to be intimidating either. Even when I was scrawny I could scare the hell out of people and now that I'm about 40lbs heavier people are very polite and mild-mannered around me.

Edited June 29, 2013 by hppr