newnewness Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 This guy and I have been friends for five years, he basically has pursued me (not aggressively, very respectfully) the whole time but due to me being in other relationships or overwhelmed by events in my life, I pretty much would blow him off. Well, recently I realized how great a guy he is and we went out on a date (we had gone on "dates" just a couple of times over the years). I had a really great time and texted him the next day to thank him for being great to be around and for being a gentleman (he didn't kiss me). We had plans to meet a week later but in response to my text he asked if he could see me for 5 minutes that evening. We met, and 5 minutes turned into three hours of talking. When the topic of intimacy came up he said he wanted to wait but he also offered to comfort me during my stressful time and so I hinted that sex might do the trick. Again, he said he wanted to wait, but he also said I looked beautiful, etc. and we ended up kissing and having foreplay and I ended up doing oral on him. We wanted to take it further but we didn't have condoms and that's when he insisted that we really need to wait. When I left him, he asked me to call when I got home. At the end of the conversation, I said I hope to talk to him soon, to which he replied, if not, I'll see you on [the day of our next date]. Did I blow it with this guy by coming on too strong. I know nothing happened that he didn't want to happen, and he said he wanted me and he's always wanted me and he's wanted to kiss me, but I really don't want to mess things up with him. I'm trying to lay low for a few days until we're supposed to meet again. Link to post Share on other sites
Leegh Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I think you are doing the correct thing to lay low for a couple of days. Since he definitely likes you, I don't think it is a "deal-breaker", but it may be best next time to let him initiate things, as I always think it's better initially if the guy pursues the girl. I am probably old-fashioned, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newnewness Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 I agree with the man pursuing. I guess he caught me at a weak moment, but I definitely want to wait before we do the deed. I'm sure it will be mindblowing based on how we feel, but I'm willing to take it slow. I kind of want to apologize to him when I see him, but that might be overkill. Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 I agree with the man pursuing. I guess he caught me at a weak moment, but I definitely want to wait before we do the deed. I'm sure it will be mindblowing based on how we feel, but I'm willing to take it slow. I kind of want to apologize to him when I see him, but that might be overkill. Apologize for what? Was he telling you to stop the whole time that you were doing oral on him? Link to post Share on other sites
WordvAction Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 You didn't mess this up at all; you're as good as in Link to post Share on other sites
Author newnewness Posted June 29, 2013 Author Share Posted June 29, 2013 Apologize for what? Was he telling you to stop the whole time that you were doing oral on him? Well no, he was EXTREMELY excited and did try to move on to intercourse although that's when he said we should wait (due to the lack of condoms). We both got stimulated (him orally, me by his fingering) but neither one of us climaxed. I guess the apology I was thinking of was for not walking away when he initially said he wanted to wait, not respecting his wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newnewness Posted June 29, 2013 Author Share Posted June 29, 2013 You didn't mess this up at all; you're as good as in Thanks. I'm just glad I realized how great a guy he is while he still wants me. Over the years he would get me little gifts and while we only had a few "dates" he would always check in with me from time to time. I was a fool for not seeing it then, but the blinders are off now! Link to post Share on other sites
Author newnewness Posted July 1, 2013 Author Share Posted July 1, 2013 This morning I texted him to see if we were still on for our afternoon date tomorrow, to which he replied that he couldn't make it, he had an appointment, that he sent me an email and he'll contact me in a couple of weeks. The email said basically the same thing but added to please not contact him through his email (personal or work) because he thinks someone else is reading his personal emails and he needs to straighten it out. Through a couple of cryptic texts, I remained pleasant but did point out he was being mysterious and distant. I also told him I had a small gift for him (really a gag gift but he didn't know that) and was there somewhere I could leave it or could I meet it to give it to him if he couldn't or didn't want to see me, to which he replied "Just hold onto it and I'll get it in a couple of weeks. Take care." He also replied that he didn't mean to sound mysterious or rude but he had some issues/problems (down where he lives) that popped up over the weekend that he needs to deal with. He said he hopes I understand. Wow, how the tables have turned! I've blown him off on several occasions over the year, maybe I'm getting a dose of my own medicine! Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 The email said basically the same thing but added to please not contact him through his email (personal or work) because he thinks someone else is reading his personal emails and he needs to straighten it out. This is not a problem with you, it's a problem with him. He's got something else going on. Are you sure he's single? FYI, I think you did all the right things in your encounter that you talked about in your first post. Again, I feel you are doing all the right things but it sure sounds like he has some complications in his life that make him not 100% available. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newnewness Posted July 2, 2013 Author Share Posted July 2, 2013 This is not a problem with you, it's a problem with him. He's got something else going on. Are you sure he's single? FYI, I think you did all the right things in your encounter that you talked about in your first post. Again, I feel you are doing all the right things but it sure sounds like he has some complications in his life that make him not 100% available. Thank you. I'm trying to confirm, but I think you're right. When he said he was moving from his town to a town closer to me (and to his job), I thought maybe he was just ending a relationship or something, but from what I can uncover I think he's married. To hell with him. Guess he never expected me to show some real interest in him. I tell you, I can't win for losing! Link to post Share on other sites
esteem-jam Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Hold on with assumptions. I would not exchange secret information over email/socail sites, because I know my ISP of this small town has possibility to see traffic which is not encrypted (say http vs httpS). Why would I say personal things over net when I can say them in person? You just wait. Link to post Share on other sites
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