When an Ex says some hurtful things..

[J.DAE23]

So I just I had my first bad break-up. Didn't know people could be so cruel! In her defense, I wasn't the best girlfriend and she still stuck by me. But then, despite my flaws, I couldn't have been that bad...but then I'm not in her shoes. That's what I tell myself and how I justify the hurtful things she said.

 

Has anyone ever had their ex say some really hurtful things? Like "I regret being with you" and "it was a mistake"...How do you deal with that? Do you think deep down they are really hurt and perhaps don't really mean it?

[SimonSerenade]

I'd like to think people would say anything in the heat of the moment, try not to take it too personally, nobody is perfect and nobody should be expected to be, once the anger fizzles out, she'll be left with some good memories, in the mean time better yourself and focus on all that makes you a good person, what you did or didn't do in the relationship doesn't define who you are now, what defines you now is what you do next.

[athousandquestions]

What Simon said is definitely true, the heat of the moment makes people say some really mean things.

 

With that being said, this should show you something about the person she is.

 

I know for a fact I have NEVER said anything close to that to my ex, no matter how cruel and disrespectful he has been to me. He HAS said stuff like that to me, and all it did was show me who he really is. Nobody deserves to have those things said to them, and they were said to you to hurt you, simple as that.

 

It doesn't matter if she meant it or not. She said it. Use this to fuel your anger and reason for moving on.

[Sugarkane]

Yes I've had an ex say these things and more. I never cheated and would've done anything for him. It makes me laugh now when dumpers do extremely immature things like this and things like turn everyone against you. If the dumper is so over it, why do they have to be abusive?! It really shows what sort of person they are. Not one you ever want to go back too.

[Sugarkane]

I don't think being the dumper should be an excuse to be a major assclown, but I've experienced this and seen it before.

[SimonSerenade]

When the dumper turns people against you it's usually their way of justifying the break up, they have to see you as a bad thing and nothing in between, it's easier not to return to somebody everybody now hates, that's just one reason, some times there isn't one, some people really can be that much of a bitch or bastard, thankfully for me I'm a secure person and couldn't care less what anybody thinks about me lol so frankly it doesn't bother me one bit.

[inaya42]

i have said very mean things (never swearing or name-calling) like: you were using me; i am so disgusted by you; i wish i'd never met you; she can have you; i wouldn't give you spit in the desert.

 

but i have only said these things when i was the dumpee and when the method of exiting the relationship was particularly thoughtless or cruel -- like when an ex broke up with me in the morning and then had his new gf help him move out that afternoon.

 

i still regretted expressing myself angrily. it's not nice, whether as dumper or dumpee.

Edited July 3, 2013 by inaya42

[Sugarkane]

i have said very mean things (never swearing or name-calling) like: you were using me; i am so disgusted by you; i wish i'd never met you; she can have you; i wouldn't give you spit in the desert.

 

but i have only said these things when i was the dumpee and when the method of exiting the relationship was particularly thoughtless or cruel -- like when an ex broke up with me in the morning and then had his new gf help him move out that afternoon.

 

i still regretted expressing myself angrily. it's not nice, whether as dumper or dumpee.

 

When it's the dumpee though it makes far more sense and is understandable at least.