Shyster!

[chickenlicken]

Things have been continuing about the same between my boyfriend and I, for the most part. Maybe 2 weeks ago I noticed that he wasn't as persistent on the weekends, and thought maybe there might be someone else.

 

There is.

 

She lives 5 hours away, they dated 20 some years ago, she's married too, less than a year, and she is sending him money. Thousands of dollars. It's really kind of amusing to hear the versions of events that he gives me, and know the truth.

 

I have known for a couple of days and have been playing along...I need to get away from here when I disengage, and I can't until Tuesday.

 

I am surprised, but I feel really stupid saying that. I can't believe I wasted all this time on this man that I do not even KNOW.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Things have been continuing about the same between my boyfriend and I, for the most part. Maybe 2 weeks ago I noticed that he wasn't as persistent on the weekends, and thought maybe there might be someone else.

 

There is.

 

She lives 5 hours away, they dated 20 some years ago, she's married too, less than a year, and she is sending him money. Thousands of dollars. It's really kind of amusing to hear the versions of events that he gives me, and know the truth.

 

I have known for a couple of days and have been playing along...I need to get away from here when I disengage, and I can't until Tuesday.

 

I am surprised, but I feel really stupid saying that. I can't believe I wasted all this time on this man that I do not even KNOW.

 

Does her H know that she is sending him money? Have you confronted your BF? Are you just taking off for good Tuesday? Sorry to hear of your discovery. Better now than after marriage I supposed. Have you been supporting your BF as well?

[ComingInHot]

Take his sugar mama's cash, write her & BF and thank you letter for the $$$ and making it easy for you to leave so They can "be together"

Sign Letter:

All my best for the two of you

Love,

Smarter than you both(draw a heart)*

 

Really though, I'm sorry about your stitch!

[sweet_pea]

Well, you were dating a married man, that's the risk you take... Him possibly having another other woman, besides you. I would say this is "karma" but I dunno if I believe in all that.

 

Use this as a learning experience.

 

Tell his wife and her husband.

[JustAReformedGirl]

Well, you were dating a married man, that's the risk you take... Him possibly having another other woman, besides you. I would say this is "karma" but I dunno if I believe in all that.

 

Use this as a learning experience.

 

Tell his wife and her husband.

 

 

Uhh...I think you might be confused. OP didn't say her boyfriend was a married man. OP said her boyfriend has another woman 5 hours away, who is married.

 

In short, her boyfriend is having an affair with a married woman...

 

Anyway, on to the OP: I'd confront him on the matter. There's no sense in pretending you don't know what's going on. Get it out in the open, then decide from there what you want to do about it.

 

Edit: Or are you also the OW, OP? I feel like I've missed something.

[sweet_pea]

Uhh...I think you might be confused. OP didn't say her boyfriend was a married man. OP said her boyfriend has another woman 5 hours away, who is married.

 

In short, her boyfriend is having an affair with a married woman...

 

Anyway, on to the OP: I'd confront him on the matter. There's no sense in pretending you don't know what's going on. Get it out in the open, then decide from there what you want to do about it.

 

Edit: Or are you also the OW, OP? I feel like I've missed something.

 

Not confused, she was in a relationship with a MM. Check the thread before this.

[JustAReformedGirl]

Ah. my mistake then, sweet pea.

 

OP: You're probably better off cutting your losses, at this point. It sounds like things are just going to get more complicated than they already are.

[chickenlicken]

Oh I'm finished! I told him today...no, I haven't supported him whatsoever, and now that I know what I know, I have NO IDEA who paid for all the dinners & trips & hotel rooms. I thought it was him, but obviously he has a knack for making money in an unconventional manner! I didn't even break it down for him, why bother, I knew he wouldn't, I just told him that I would like for him to be honest with me about some deception that has come to my attention, and he acted all dazed & confused, and I told him that I thought it was best to put our relationship in the past & move on. He seemed to accept it, and we hung up. I didn't lose my temper, say a harsh word, nothing. Since then he's been calling my cell & my work, I've ignored all the calls & asked that the operator takes a message for me when he calls work. So far he's hung up on her every time she asks to take a message.

 

I considered changing my phone number, but forget it. I've had this number for over 10 years, and I'm not going to inconvenience myself. I thought about leaving town, but I'm not going to change my plans & stretch my budget. If he shows up here, the locks are changed, and he will find himself standing on the porch ringing the bell or hollering or whatever it is that he chooses to do, until the neighbors call the police. He will get no response or reaction from me.

 

And YES, this is what I get, I've been thinking this! Every time I heard him lie to her, I've considered that it could be ME TOO! I feel a lot of relief that it's over.

 

And I wish I hadn't been so courteous to him when I spent "his" money.

 

I wish I had stuck to my guns when I found out I was the other woman.

 

That said, I am not a stupid woman, and the only thing I lost is TIME, precious time. Unfortunate enough! I do have my peace, and that is something that will never be taken from me by a person or event. One of the reasons that I have been half-heartedly trying to end this is because my peace was being compromised, and I didn't like it.

 

I have never been in this position before, and I've certainly learned my lesson. I am not going to find myself in these shoes again. This does not work for me!

[chickenlicken]

...and I have the hardest, most ridiculous proof you could ever imagine! I plan to do NOTHING with it. I do not want to prolong this, and I am not going send the proof to this woman's husband, I'm not going to tell the woman, I'm sure she doesn't know about me, although she does know about his wife. I'm not going to tell my boyfriend's wife.

 

Why? What's the point? To hurt him? The other people involved haven't done anything to me, I am not interested in him anymore, I have no desire to involve myself in any capacity in his life or to cause him any sort of chaos. I just want him to be gone. As far as I'm concerned, he's a coward, and these have been my feelings for a while. A person that doesn't have the courage to stand behind his actions by TELLING THE TRUTH is a coward, they aren't cunning or slick, they're wimps.

 

I have no idea who these people are or what they would do with the information so I'm going to stick it all in a box with the rest of his things & put it in the basement. And NO, I don't have anything of significance that belongs to him. Everything I have I've had for a long time and he has no intention of ever taking it back and I know that. If he comes around here saying he wants his shirts & pants, I'll send them to his God damn house without a second thought or a single word.

[JustAReformedGirl]

Good for you, Chickenlicken! Major kudos for making your decision, and doing what you needed to do to meet that end.

 

I agree with you for sticking with your number and not skipping town. Doing so would be both inconvenient, and give him more power than he deserves. Changing the locks was definitely a good call. You should be proud of yourself for getting out of this situation, and for learning from it.

[chickenlicken]

Wow, this hurts today. I've been sitting on this for a little while before I ended it, & now, damn, I'm hurting. I'm off of work today, and I kind of wish I weren't. My mind is too idle. I've been trying to catch up on Game of Thrones, but I can't focus on it. I should go to the gym. I didn't sleep well last night, which doesn't ever make anything any easier. I am considering hitting the town tonight, maybe get a nap in this afternoon. I'm disappointed.

 

This is real life, not a fairy tale. When life starts to feel like a fairy tale, beware.

 

I need this alone time without a man in my life. I need to get myself back together.

[chickenlicken]

I'm doing pretty good! I don't care if no one even reads this, it makes me feel better to get it out! He called me in the middle of the night last night, but I was ready for it, and I gave him a custom ring tone of "no ring", so I slept through all 7 calls. I have a tendency to just answer without looking if the phone rings while I'm sleeping and he knows that, so I was prepared. I was driving his car one day & found a cell phone in his console, so I called my cell from it to get the number, and put that as a contact in my phone also....& he's tried to call me from that phone several times also. I can't block people with my cell provider. I haven't heard from him since....I'm not going to lie, it does make me feel better that he hasn't just forgotten me, and I am also aware that this signifies weakness on my part. Just being glad that he's still calling means that I still care...or something like that.

 

I'm keeping all the doors locked all the time, and keeping my eyes open for him. I haven't been at work since Monday, so I don't know if he's called there. If I do see him, I plan to listen to nothing he has to say & stand up to him, as in not run away. I will show NO weakness. That said, I am trying to avoid public places that he might show up at because I don't want to encounter him. It will be hard to see him, no doubt.

 

I feel really strong. I will not compromise my power & dignity by ever breaking down and contacting him. No way.

 

My peace is already returning. Yup, I find myself pacing a little here and there, but I'm good. This was a good decision.

[JustAReformedGirl]

You're doing great, in my opinion. You'll undoubtedly hit some rough patches, but as long as you stick to your guns, you should be very proud of yourself. It's good to see that you care enough about you not to let him cause you anymore pain.

 

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, Chicken.

[chickenlicken]

I am still doing good! I went out tonight, and last night. I had a great time! I have always been a very social person, and he never wanted me to go anywhere without him, and if I did he would track me down & ruin it for me, so i haven't been going out often. It was soooo good to see people I haven't seen in a long time, and I'm so much more at ease now...I'm not nervous about my phone ringing because he's looking for me, I don't give a **** if he shows up there, and trust me he will. He is calling me like mad, and it makes me laugh. How's it feel? How does it feel to have no freaking power? You like that? How's it feel, do you feel your heart coming up in your throat, and you feel a little sick in your stomach? You like that? Get used to it, jerk.

 

And by the way, everybody kept saying, "You look GREAT!", "where've you been?", I was greeted so warmly, my attitude is so much better, this is the best decision....I am glad I made it. There are moments, like when I'm laying in bed alone with no real expectation that that's going to change anytime soon, when I'm like, "ughhhhhh", but than I fall asleep and wake up fresh & it's ok again.

[chickenlicken]

Two nights ago he tracked me down, took my bag, keys & phone, locked himself in his car, ended up closing his window on me and bruising me up....look, he ended up driving me around for almost 4 hours, he practically raped me, he pinned me down, kissed me and sucked on my neck until I had hickies, undid my belt & yanked my pants off, took his pants down & pushed himself up against me, played with me, and pushed against me again, and just stopped and said to me "you didn't really think I was gonna rape you, did you?", and wiped my tears away. He threatened to throw my keys up onto an overpass if I tried to run away, he wouldn't let me go to the bathroom, he told me "you better just piss yourself sitting in that seat", and kept telling he loves me, he needs me, why did I leave him, how can I look him in the face & tell him I don't love him after all the stuff we went through together, it never ended. he just kept barking at me, yelling, screaming, just...I can't describe it. He barked at me. He held onto my face & made me look at him, if I even looked away for a second he was barking again. He did that for four hours until I agreed he could come to my house, and I just gave up. He came over, and he had sex with me, and at 6 he left. And I just got up & went to work like it didn't even happen, and he calls me & texts me like it didn't happen either.

[Ssgrimes]

Two nights ago he tracked me down, took my bag, keys & phone, locked himself in his car, ended up closing his window on me and bruising me up....look, he ended up driving me around for almost 4 hours, he practically raped me, he pinned me down, kissed me and sucked on my neck until I had hickies, undid my belt & yanked my pants off, took his pants down & pushed himself up against me, played with me, and pushed against me again, and just stopped and said to me "you didn't really think I was gonna rape you, did you?", and wiped my tears away. He threatened to throw my keys up onto an overpass if I tried to run away, he wouldn't let me go to the bathroom, he told me "you better just piss yourself sitting in that seat", and kept telling he loves me, he needs me, why did I leave him, how can I look him in the face & tell him I don't love him after all the stuff we went through together, it never ended. he just kept barking at me, yelling, screaming, just...I can't describe it. He barked at me. He held onto my face & made me look at him, if I even looked away for a second he was barking again. He did that for four hours until I agreed he could come to my house, and I just gave up. He came over, and he had sex with me, and at 6 he left. And I just got up & went to work like it didn't even happen, and he calls me & texts me like it didn't happen either.

 

 

Call the police and press charges against him and put a restraining order in place. He has assaulted you, physically and sexually. You need to run far far away from this man, he sounds extremely dangerous.

[jlola]

Call the police and press charges against him and put a restraining order in place. He has assaulted you, physically and sexually. You need to run far far away from this man, he sounds extremely dangerous.

 

Look up the words "romantic sociopaths" you have one of those on your hand.

 

WATCH ALL HER VIDEOS!!!!!!!

[So happy together]

Holy shizz! You've got to call the police!!! He's going to do this to someone else! You need to press every charge available to you! That is so scary! I hope you are okay. That is just an absolutely terrible situation.