Why am I doing what I'm doing? And How to Stop this?

[Imafool]

I know what I'm doing is wrong and I'm ashamed of it 100%. Yet I continue telling myself that I don't want to hurt the woman I'm seeing so I continue this lie. Background: I am currently married to "A." On recent business trip, I met lady "B." I told "B" that I was divorced and looking for a friendship. I lied about my last name, age, where I'm from, and the specific city I live in (I was truthful about the metro area though). She knows the type of work I do, my hobby activities, and knows I have a child from a previous relationship. As I've continued to travel to the city for work, I've continued seeing "B." We have become real close. We share the same political and social views and have really great conversations. We recently slept together and it was amazing. The ground shook for both of us. Two days ago, I fly out to see her on my own (not work related) and met her sister. Now I think she is falling in love with me. I have feelings for her but I'm not leaving my wife. I don't want to hurt "B's" feeling so I want to end this but I find myself talking to her and wanting to see her even more. I specifically told her lies about myself so prevent anything from happening in the end, but I can't seem to end it. Part of me says to just end it cold turkey but how can I hurt her like that after just meeting her sister? I know I sound like I'm concerned about what she will feel about me. Part of that is true. I just want to end it and stop the madness that I'm doing. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated because it's obvious I'm too weak to come up with something myself.

[NJtoDC]

but how can I hurt her like that after just meeting her sister?

 

Who cares? B won't care that you met her sister when she finds out you are married and lied about it. End it sooner than later before your absence needs explanation to a lot of people who think you are a genuine mate of this woman. She's going to feel betrayed by you as is, don't add public embarrassment to the list.

 

What good can come of continuing this? You won't leave your wife. Are you hoping to live a double life?

[Imafool]

NJtoDC you are 100% correct. It needs to end soon. I'm struggling with how to end it. I've never had to end a relationship...never. Before I got married, I was the person who always got dumped. I tried to end it via text earlier on but I answered the phone when she called so here I am getting deeper and deeper. I know that the longer I drag this out, the potential of hurting her increases.

[Betterthanthis13]

Did you use a condom?

 

What if the condom broke and she is pregnant?

 

Did you discuss STI's with her? What if she gave you hepatitis, herpes, or HIV?

 

Have you had sex with your wife since?

 

Go have a test for STI's, go see a psychologist, let your wife know she needs to be tested. Let the other woman know you are married. Stop making problems for your family that could endanger their lives.

 

My friends mom is HIV positive in her 60's thanks to her cheating husband. It's not a common consequence but it does happen. Herpes is much more likely. I think 1 in 5 people have that.

 

I'm sorry you have gotten yourself into this mess but its time to stop thinking about the exciting feelings of having an affair and come back to reality and figure out what you are doing and why you are doing it. Are you unhappy in your marriage and want to divorce?