Do most women follow these outdated 'dating rules'?

[Eggplant]

I'd say men are usually the ones who take it harder. Men care more about the woman than the other way around in most cases, and as previously stated the woman usually initiates the break up. Add to that the fact that it's harder for a man to meet a woman then vice versa.

 

Do men care more about the woman than she cares about him? I don't think that's normal at all. If that's your experience, then I get why you are reluctant to pursue. You need a woman who is crazy for you.

 

As far as it being harder for a man to meet a woman, I think the time versus opportunity curve comes out equal, on average. You may have less opportunity at any given instant but a lot more time to play with. And your odds go way up as you age if you pursue women your own age. When my grandmother died at 59, for example, my grandfather was descended upon at her funeral by single women his age bringing casseroles.

[MrTurk]

 

Same goes for Mr. Turk and the rest of you fellows who are all outraged about women who enjoy being asked out by men. Don't like asking women out? Don't ask them out!

 

I am flattered that someone mentioned me in a post

 

But anyways....my view on it, is that I simply wish more women would initiate. I'd be happy with a 70-30 ration....instead of me having to do it 100% of the time. The more a woman waits to be approached, the higher the chances are shes being hit on by a liar, cheater, or some other jerk. If she would take some accountability, and be pro-active in her search for a man....I think it ups her chances for finding someone more worth while.

[Lixxy]

I don't even like the concept of "dates" in and of themselves... Let alone all these pieces of trash "rules and regulations".

 

I told the guy I was interested in that I had a crush on him after we developed a friendship. After that, we were still friends, but in love and had sex. That was the only real difference. *shrugs* And that, for me, is the way I prefer it.

 

I don't want to overcomplicate my relationships with "do's and don'ts" someone else dreamed up for me.

[hotpotato]

Exactly

 

 

 

And it's almost always the woman who initiates the break up

 

Must be nice. I'm a chic, and I always seem to get dumped then left for someone else.

 

I've had more luck when I let men pursue me instead of the other way around. When I have acted disinterested (but not completely uninterested) I've gotten proposals. When I do act inerested, I get dumped. The less interested in a man I am the more likely he sticks around. I think it is better for women to let men do the chasing, and I think most men like to chase to some degree.

[hotpotato]

You misunderstod it.

 

Women are modern in that they want to have great careers and be the breadwinner in the relationship and therefore have the financial upper hand in it.

 

But they are old fashioned in that they want the man to be the pursuer and initiate most if not all of the time, this gives the woman the emotional upper hand in that she is more "desired" than the man.

 

I don't know where you got the waiting for sex part.

 

Nowadays women have to work, unless they are one of the Paris Hiltons in the world. I've never known a woman to want to be the breadwinner. I do know couples in which the the woman is the breadwinner because he lost his job.

[Seductive]

Yes, you can thank all the people that tell women that they're desperate and needy if they make the first move. You can thank all of the people that tell women why they aren't married yet. I'm not talking about catty women, but I've seen men say that women are desperate for having to ask a man out by showing interest. Since a lot of women want to find love, they're going to do what they're advised to do. Remember that book he's just not that into you?

Edited July 5, 2013 by Seductive

[Southern Cal Dude]

Yes, you can thank all the people that tell women that they're desperate and needy if they make the first move. You can thank all of the people that tell women why they aren't married yet. I'm not talking about catty women, but I've seen men say that women are desperate for having to ask a man out by showing interest. Since a lot of women want to find love, they're going to do what they're advised to do. Remember that book he's just not that into you?

 

 

The book was written to make money, not to help you. I've never ever heard a guy call a woman desperate because she made the first move. Hell half of them think she was just being friendly. There's roughly 150 million men in the U.S. A couple thinking it's desperate doesn't represent anything close to the majority. If I come across 20 women who prefer blue eyes, does that mean most women prefer blue eyes? Of course not.

[Seductive]

The book was written to make money, not to help you. I've never ever heard a guy call a woman desperate because she made the first move. Hell half of them think she was just being friendly. There's roughly 150 million men in the U.S. A couple thinking it's desperate doesn't represent anything close to the majority. If I come across 20 women who prefer blue eyes, does that mean most women prefer blue eyes? Of course not.

 

You need to talk to my ex that said that most guys don't like it when women initiate. He said that women make fools out of themselves, and that if a man would approach you if he really liked you.

[Woggle]

You need to talk to my ex that said that most guys don't like it when women initiate. He said that women make fools out of themselves, and that if a man would approach you if he really liked you.

 

All men are not your ex. Yes I am aware I should take my own advice but it doesn't make it any less true.

[Southern Cal Dude]

You need to talk to my ex that said that most guys don't like it when women initiate. He said that women make fools out of themselves, and that if a man would approach you if he really liked you.

 

 

No offense, but your ex's opinion means less than sh*t to me. Tell him he join us in 2013 when he's ready.

[tbf]

All men are not your ex. Yes I am aware I should take my own advice but it doesn't make it any less true.

Acknowledgement of hypocrisy doesn't make it okay to be hypocritical.

 

Much of the assumptions of a male who's interested will pursue, has to do with the type of male. The more assertive, aggressive and confident the male, the more likely if he's interested, he'll initiate and pursue, if necessary.

 

So for women, we have to decide what kind of man cranks our drive train. If we prefer to be the dominant partner in the relationship, then we'll pursue men. If we prefer to have a more dominant partner, we'll sit back and fish. There are many more permutations of these two scenarios but most people will understand sufficiently that they're capable of extrapolating the balance.

 

I suspect that many dating disconnects have to do with the above, in that fishing personalities attempt to hunt, etc.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I suspect that many dating disconnects have to do with the above, in that fishing personalities attempt to hunt, etc.

 

And then there are the gatherers ...

[Seductive]

All men are not your ex. Yes I am aware I should take my own advice but it doesn't make it any less true.

 

Do you mind if I ask if a woman making the first move ended up in a long-term relationship?

[Eggplant]

Offcourse, because that ensures that the woman is more desired and that the man is more emotionally invested which in turn gives the woman power over him.

 

I would argue that in long-term relationships where the man cherishes the woman, she still does not necessarily have more power. The man needs to cherish the woman in order for there to be a hope of a balance of power.

 

Here are some gender stereotypes. I am curious to what extent you agree/disagree.

 

A. Men are less eager to stay committed to one partner for a length of time

B. Women's ability to attract a new mate goes down more quickly with age than men's

 

If you don't agree with these stereotypes and think they hold no water, then the woman should not be treated as special in the dating stage.

 

The old-school way of thinking is that the man KNOWS she's investing in him fully because she is having HIS babies.

[Woggle]

Do you mind if I ask if a woman making the first move ended up in a long-term relationship?

 

That is how my marriage started and it is still going great.

[Seductive]

That is how my marriage started and it is still going great.

 

That's good to hear. Making the first move for me hasn't worked. I do enjoy flirting and charming where the person knows they have the green light to ask me out.