has your first crush/love been the template for who you're attracted to?

[ThaWholigan]

If I recall correctly, you've also got a positive relationship with your mother. Is this true or am I off?

Yes, largely positive thankfully. Much of my progress as a person is due to her parenting.

[soccerrprp]

Yes, largely positive thankfully. Much of my progress as a person is due to her parenting.

 

WHOOP WHOOP to positive mothers and female role-models (and MANY male-role models)! I am certain that my (predominantly) positive view of women is b/c of this.

 

But, I try to avoid the ladies who remind me of my mother!

[Infinity0]

Castle gave me the idea.....

 

 

Has the first person you liked colored your perception of what you find attractive? Or did they fit an already existing template? I did not have one until I met her.

 

Yes. Absolutely. I remember I was 9. He was 4'5, blonde hair, blue eyes, dressed so cute, walked like a lady and smiled a lot. I started being attracted to that type when I grew up but it never worked out because for some reason they all had boyfriends LOL

 

So yeah the first boy I ever liked was gay

 

The first man I was sexually attracted to was Italian/Greek looking, tall, wide shoulders awesome smile, a little nerdy. The whole Italian look with wide shoulders and big arms and nice smile seriously has been all I've dated or been attracted to.

 

I did go out with a blonde guy once though

[amaysngrace]

I still like light eyes and pretty smiles and just a little body hair and that is how my first love is but it was a baby bird.

[fortyninethousand322]

Has the first person you liked colored your perception of what you find attractive? Or did they fit an already existing template? I did not have one until I met her.

 

I think I messed up the first time around. The first girl I liked back in 2nd grade was a blonde girl. I've only been interested in one other blonde girl since (when I was 16, and her hair was dyed blonde).

 

Now, the second girl I liked fit the perception of what I find attractive pretty well.

 

I think I've always had a pre-existing template though. When I was a kid I always thought Belle and Jasmine were the prettiest Disney princesses. Was never a big fan of Ariel or the ones from Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty.

 

As weird as all that sounds...

[Babolat]

So tell us your type

 

edit: never mind you beat me to it

 

My type? I love the sexy librarian type. I am attracted to natural looks (my test is am I still attracted to you with no make up), athletice but not over the top, into nutrition and health, active, explorer, funny, witty, charming, banter, intelligent, social yet a little conservative, likes to go out occassionaly and dance/watch a band, but not every weekend, confident, has her own friends and enjoys a girls night out, independent yet a little dependent on me, appreciates chivalry. I love to study/read people too; so if she is into psychology, that's a plus. And flame away but she has to be comfortable with her sexuality and expressing herself. I am very sexual and I need a woman who can "hang" with me there. 4-5 times a day is not unusual for me. And she has to be affectionate.

[Eternal Sunshine]

My type? I love the sexy librarian type. I am attracted to natural looks (my test is am I still attracted to you with no make up), athletice but not over the top, into nutrition and health, active, explorer, funny, witty, charming, banter, intelligent, social yet a little conservative, likes to go out occassionaly and dance/watch a band, but not every weekend, confident, has her own friends and enjoys a girls night out, independent yet a little dependent on me, appreciates chivalry. I love to study/read people too; so if she is into psychology, that's a plus. And flame away but she has to be comfortable with her sexuality and expressing herself. I am very sexual and I need a woman who can "hang" with me there. 4-5 times a day is not unusual for me. And she has to be affectionate.

 

Woah

 

You have pretty much just described me

[Babolat]

Woah

 

You have pretty much just described me

 

Who needs match.com when we have LoveSack.org!

[Babolat]

Who needs match.com when we have LoveSack.org!

 

Just saw that I said "LoveSack", not "LoveShack"..guess we know where my mind is right now! Damn being single sucks!

[sillyanswer]

My type? I love the sexy librarian type.

 

mmmm! sexy librarians!

[MissBee]

Castle gave me the idea.....

 

My old crush has pretty much become the Prototype (lol Outkast) for all the girls I like. Even one of the 2 girls I've been with bears strong resemblance. The personalities have been somewhat different, but physically they've all been similar. Not to say I'm rigid in what I like, but strong physical attraction has come from this particular look.

 

They've all been variations of my avatar - caramel skin, curls, slightly thick etc.....

 

Has the first person you liked colored your perception of what you find attractive? Or did they fit an already existing template? I did not have one until I met her.

 

Nope.

 

I don't remember who was the first person I liked. There was this one guy in second grade...

 

The other night I was reminiscing with my sister about this guy I liked back in the 5th and 6th grade and now I have no clue why I liked him so much.

 

But for me, no, the first guys I ever liked didn't really become a template. Later in life I developed a personality type that I attracted (sometimes for the worst) but physically, all the men I've liked look different.

[miss_jaclynrae]

No template here.

 

 

My first huge crush was a fit tall blonde guy, who just so happens to still be a very good friend of mine. My ex-husband was tall and a little chubby, and super hairy.

 

I then went on to date SO many different types of men. Super tall blonde chubby guy. Short black guy, thin and fit. Tall tan italian with NO facial hair, fit. Now my guy is same height as me [little taller] scruffy, and fit with a very hairy body.

 

 

 

I've never really had a type.

[JustAReformedGirl]

 

Has the first person you liked colored your perception of what you find attractive? Or did they fit an already existing template? I did not have one until I met her.

 

This is an interesting question. I would certainly say he wasn't my first crush, but my AP was certainly a crush that I never forgot about.

 

In recent months, I came to the conclusion that when I started out with my now husband, he fit many of the characteristics that my AP had; very few on a physical level (though there were similarities) but more interest levels, and somewhat in regards to personality.

 

Both are quite different now than they were 8-11 years ago, though there are still a few similarities.

 

According to my husband (who did not recall this until recently, and nor did I...in which I only vaguely recall anything to do with it) I brought my AP up often when my husband (boyfriend, at the time) and I started out; he swears I even made the same statement that I recently have come to: that I wondered if I was with my husband because he reminded me of my AP (whom obviously was not an AP at the time, but an old friend).

 

 

The premise of your thread is certainly intriguing. I would say-in my case, at least-that it is true, at least to a certain extent.

[pteromom]

My first crush was thin with longish straight blond hair and a big nose. He was athletic and maybe... 5'10"ish?

 

I still find guys with his look attractive, but it is hardly a template.

 

I have dated guys of all shapes and sizes and looks. For me, it's all about the smile and the eyes.

[Anela]

I used to mostly go for dark hair and dark eyes, but, no: I had a big crush on Mags from A-ha, and he doesn't fit that bill. It's more about their personality.

 

I was never gorgeous, but I was always getting compliments on my figure, and I see these young women with cheekbones like mine, and bodies like I used to have, and wish I'd felt more comfortable with myself: I could have really cleaned up, dating-wise. I didn't see it at the time.

 

I did form a bit of a crush on a friend who was always so kind to me, and others, but he was the one who had girls throwing themselves at him, and I wasn't going to be one of them. I figured if he wanted to go out with me, he would let me know, but now I wonder if he thought I wasn't interested. He was blonde and blue-eyed. Again, it was the personality.

[ltjg45]

My first crush? She is nothing like the women I'm interested in these days.

 

I still have no idea why I jerked off to her so much during high school. I actually felt embarrassed now that I think about it.

[Eve]

Some similarities are present between H and my first crush. Personality and everything-else-wise, H is the more sorted version of past lovers.

 

I have a similar temperament to his mother. Totally different looks though.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Woggle]

I used to be into artsy types but that stopped after I realized that many of them are sort of headcases. I don't really have a template for what attracts me. I know more about what doesn't attract me.

[Emilia]

My attraction template was created by having the world's best father and observing the relationship dynamics between loving parents.

 

Both husbands are similar in physical appearance to my father, of tall, dark and handsome. They're both intelligent, witty and charming. The first husband lacked the moral fiber that he socially portrayed. My second husband lives up to a strong personal code of ethics just like Daddy!

 

Creeped out yet?

No but it explains why I had to work out the template in terms of character and personality for myself rather than copy it.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Castle gave me the idea.....

 

My old crush has pretty much become the Prototype (lol Outkast) for all the girls I like. Even one of the 2 girls I've been with bears strong resemblance. The personalities have been somewhat different, but physically they've all been similar. Not to say I'm rigid in what I like, but strong physical attraction has come from this particular look.

 

They've all been variations of my avatar - caramel skin, curls, slightly thick etc.....

 

Has the first person you liked colored your perception of what you find attractive? Or did they fit an already existing template? I did not have one until I met her.

 

Oh gosh no. This is a great topic though! I think back to my first few crushes, and they aren't even remotely close to the types I tend to be attracted to now - physically, emotionally, or socially.

 

But of course, it's hard to extrapolate a 14-year-old's looks (and personality, for that matter) into an adult's. For example, I prefer men with facial hair, but my first crush certainly didn't have any!

[gaius]

The only universal constant I can think of between the 3 women I've been healthily obsessed over is really nice, thick, long hair. 2 blondes and 1 brunette. And the third one I had a crush on even before I knew what her hair looked like. So I guess my answer would be no. I don't even know where the hair thing might have come from.

[skydiveaddict]

 

Has the first person you liked colored your perception of what you find attractive?

 

Yes.And it was probably before you were even born. It never goes away. I have dated two girls since then who I had that same irresistible attraction for. And they both smashed my heart to bits. Never again.

Edited July 3, 2013 by skydiveaddict