John1 Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 I was with my ex girlfriend for 4 years... 16 months ago we split up because I drunkenly kissed another girl .. It shouldnt have happened.. I confessed to my ex and 4 years evaporated between my very eyes... I took the breakup badly.. I kept calling her and begging etc etc etc.. I was stupid.. I realise that now... She changed her phone number , i started writing her letters .. 1 letter every month for about 4-5 months.. Now we split up in June 2003... When we split up it was like she fell off the face of the earth.. I would never see or hear from her ... Thats why I suppose i rang her so many times.. Anyway I saw her in June 2004 ( 1 year to the day that we split up) I had not seen her for ages .. We talked in the street.. The subject of getting back together was brought up by me ( stupidly ), she said we will never be getting back together.. that i dont deserve a 2nd chance and she is enjoying been single so why would she give me a 2nd chance... This was 4 months ago.. I have not contacted her or tried to contact her in this time.. A few weeks ago we passed each other in the street. We just passed and said hello and that was it. .she said "Hiya" and that was it.. that was 3 weeks ago.. I miss her sooo much.. We were together for 4 years and were planning to move in together.. We had our whole future planned out.. we were thinking of getting married etc. we were talking babies names.. we were so sure we were going to be together forever. .we were even planning our wedding ( which would be in a few years) but we were very excited about the prospect of spending the rest of our lives together. .she used to live 150 miles away from me so we would speak to each other 4-5 times a day... Now she only lives 5 miles away from me and we havent spoke in 4 months ... We have spoken only a handful of times in the 16 months apart... I dont know if NC will work.. Its 4 months now .. I still love her so much... I just wish she could offer a 2nd chance.. I know i betrayed her trust but it was a genuine mistake... I have learned my lesson... I was stupid.. I shouldnt have been begging / pleading etc.. I know now looking back how pathetic it was... The last time she rang me was at xmas.. she rang me to say to stop ringing her house ( she has since moved out, she was moving out anyway though as we were due to move in together ) I have ruined the best thing to ever happen to me.. Its a pity really.. People say that Im better off that if she cant forgive 1 mistake then im better off without her , although I KNOW that I was in the wrong and that if it was the other way round I would probably do the same.. But its a pity.. We were involved in each others life so much... We did nearly everything together.. She was a huge part of my life and I was a huge part of her life.. I miss our daily conversations.. our phonecalls at night to say goodnight to each other.... the little things that you take for granted. .like the text messages saying " i love you" etc etc.. We have mutual friends and its hard for them too.. Some say to move on and find someone else and some say to give her time and that she will come back. I wish they were right.... I dont really go out much with them anymore just in case my ex is there.. I just want to keep up the NC hoping she will miss me if its not too late.. I fear and dread that it is but will keep some small hope alive.... Hopefully NC will work but for me so far it hasn't.. I must admit she is 1 stubborn girl though.. even b4 we split she was stubborn . But I liked that about her.. Typical Taurus I suppose. Best of luck to the rest of ye out there. I hope NC works for ye... Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 NC works if you use it for it's proper purpose- That is NC so that you have time to heal and move on. Occasionally NC will make someone realize they miss you and call- but that is not it's purpose. NC is not a game or a tool to get back w/an ex- it's a way to move on w/your own life w/out your ex. I'm sorry you are so sad- but she really seems to want to go on w/out you- It's time to look for other ways to be happy w/out her. *hugs* Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Dude, nothing you can do. Just try to not keep thinking about stuff and continue to live your life without her in it. Do the no contact thing but dont do it in expectation she will call you up and want back with you. Not saying it won't ever happen but you shouldn't expect it to and go about your life that the relationship is done for good. I am with the others in your life who say if she can't forgive that one mistake then she isn't worth it and things would ahve just gone downhill in the future. Yes, you did fug up but I mean it wasn't like you were cheating on her or humped that girl, right? Just kissed and you said you were drunk. A bad case of judgement? Yes. An act that warranted her being pissed off? Yes. But an act to end a 4 year relationship? I don't think so. She is probably still pissed off at you and throw in you trying to press for forgiveness and reconciliation (never works) and well, you can see why she is being the way she is. I think women in general have a hard time of forgiving guys and they will hold a grudge for a loooong time. And yes, Taurus' are stubborn. My ex is a taurus. stubborn as hell. She holds a semi grudge against me for stuff she admitted she did wrong after we broke up. Explain that one...she makes a mistake by treating me like crap, she apologizes to me for it over a year later, I forgive her and she still seems to act like I was in the wrong. Crazy broad. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Four months it's been since you've talked? I would move on. It's definitely done with. Link to post Share on other sites
UnicornGirl Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 there is a chance you could get back together, but it sounds as if you don't want to. i also think that the kiss isn't what ruined the relationship -- maybe think about that. ordinarily people do not break up and say "we will NEVER get back together" just because they kissed someone else. my ex hurt me in a slightly similar way when we were first dating, and i felt lied to and tricked and so angry, but i took him back because i loved him and i knew he was genuinely sorry. maybe she was feeling unwanted, unworthy, or disliked in the relationship, and the kiss sealed the deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 unicorngirl brings up a good point. She may have had issues but kept them in and the kiss just gave her the "in" to break up. Or she just really could be a person that can't forgive mistakes and would break up a 4 year dealio because of this. Sadly, there are people who are like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 16 months since your broke up ? Hello. ? You need to get some help and get over this which should have after you received sooo many signals... Read all these posts : But not in an attempt to get her back............ but to learn and recognize some of your behaviors.....You can learn a wealth of information here....read until you cant read anymore and then do it again Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 Originally posted by Mary3 16 months since your broke up ? Hello. ? You need to get some help and get over this which should have after you received sooo many signals... Read all these posts : But not in an attempt to get her back............ but to learn and recognize some of your behaviors.....You can learn a wealth of information here....read until you cant read anymore and then do it again I do think 16 months is a while to still be in that stage but I dont think a perosn should automatically just not care after 16 months and act like nothing could ever happen. People have a hard time grasping this but it is possible an ex was "the one" and it makes sense to still have feelings for them down the line. I think I am a good exmaple of this...didn't talk to my ex for like over 15 months but we got back into contact and even now I would consdier getting back together with her if I felt it could work out. I think she has many thougths of getting back together as well. Now do I go about having this run my life or just rehashing the past? No. I am living my life and would be ok if we never spoke again (seeing as I went almsot 1.5 years not talking to her) but still, I do care about her and love her and if she could show me she could handle a long term relationship and wanted to reconcile i would do it no question. I have yet to talk to/meet a female before or after her that is as good as she is. Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 I have yet to talk to/meet a female before or after her that is as good as she is. And there you have it. My thoughts exactly. Though in my case I did have one before her, who was just as good, though in a different way. But damn if I didn't lose her too. Link to post Share on other sites
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