marriedNlost Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 I am also married, 27 all 4 of us have even bestfriends for 4 years. Even an inncident were we got all drank and traded partners. Ony happened once. ANYWAYS, You could always tell that my bestfriends husband (34) and I "clicked." she gets along WELL with mine as well. So one night will my bestfriend was at work. Her husband and I met up. We did our normal things, just talking a whole bunch, laughing, having a good time. We ended up having sex and I spent the night till morning. we had two more times were we met up alone. We got busted the first time, but my bestfriend his wife believed us that we didn't have sex. She just knew that I was over at her house all night. My bestfriend and I are still very close. We all four hang out everyday, even him and I see each ther everyday and we get along so well. (we never talk about the times we had sex, and we havent had sex in a whole) I know he loves his wife VERY MUCH. My question is does he think about me as much as I think about him? When we talk or just bull****tin that look in his yes when he looks at me is deep, ya know? the last tIme we met up alone, we told each other that if or when the time comes when we r both single then we could be together. We respect each others life's. To a point, lol AND IM PREPARED TO GET MY BUTT CHEWED BY YOU ALL HELP Link to post Share on other sites
sammy333 Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 i wouldnt worry too much about it. do whatever makes you feel great. a few months ago i would have never said anything like that but now after all kinds of bad things happening to me in my marriage i would go for it too. enjoy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Iloveit Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Question is, do YOU love YOUR husband? You never mentioned it once. The grass seems to be greener on the other side, but i'm sure you don't want to jeopardize your marriage, your friendships, your image and the happyness of your kids ( if you have any). It's just not worth it. I say forget about it and move past this. Tell your "lover" that this is the end and you value your friendships too much to risk losing him and his wife. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marriedNlost Posted July 1, 2013 Author Share Posted July 1, 2013 Yes I love my husband, we have known each other for 10 years now. We have no kids. Great advice guys. As I do NOT want to lose there friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulStorm Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 If you truly value your marriage, you will come clean to your husband. Let him know the truth of who he is married to so he can make a decision on whether or not he wants to stay in a marriage where his wife wants to have fun on the side. Love is what it does..can you honestly see the level of hurt you are causing your husband..he just doesn't know it.Do you really love him to bring this much hurt to your marriage? If you really knew the devastation that is going to occur when and if this gets out you would stop this immediately. You are not only hurting your husband, but your kids will suffer too because of this. This is a serious matter..the selfish thing that you and your "best friend's" husband is doing is going to hurt both your marriages because both he and you are not being mature enough to see the damage. Do the right thing please..stop this and come clean to your husband and stop disrespecting him, your marriage and your kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 (edited) It's nice that you may get a few telling you to have all the fun you want, bang her husband all you want. You have been caught once, you were lucky. Why are you married if your still dating? You need to decide, or better still, allow your husband to decide what is more important, your friendship with her husband or your marriage. As exciting as you may think this is, the damage you are doing to yourself will leave you with a huge void that no amount of outside validation will fix what you will become. Just read some of posts of spouse's that have been caught, read their pain, read the pain of the betrayed spouse, pain that will never be forgotten. Your already well on your way, your intentionally lying to the man you vowed not to, you can't unf**k yourself. What's next, a paternity test? That one will end your marriage, I can speak to that. Put the balance back on the side of your marriage, tell him the truth. Can you see yourself having a family with your husband? If you can't, end your marriage rather than destroy your integrity, the truth is an absolute necessity in any successful marriage. You are the one that is dooming it. Edited July 2, 2013 by aliveagain spelling 6 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I don't think I have any advice to offer someone who's apparently so nonchalant about betraying her husband and "best friend", and who is likely to wind up busting up two marriages. Happy trails. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I am also married, 27 all 4 of us have even bestfriends for 4 years. Even an inncident were we got all drank and traded partners. Ony happened once. ANYWAYS, You could always tell that my bestfriends husband (34) and I "clicked." she gets along WELL with mine as well. So one night will my bestfriend was at work. Her husband and I met up. We did our normal things, just talking a whole bunch, laughing, having a good time. We ended up having sex and I spent the night till morning. we had two more times were we met up alone. We got busted the first time, but my bestfriend his wife believed us that we didn't have sex. She just knew that I was over at her house all night. My bestfriend and I are still very close. We all four hang out everyday, even him and I see each ther everyday and we get along so well. (we never talk about the times we had sex, and we havent had sex in a whole) I know he loves his wife VERY MUCH. My question is does he think about me as much as I think about him? When we talk or just bull****tin that look in his yes when he looks at me is deep, ya know? the last tIme we met up alone, we told each other that if or when the time comes when we r both single then we could be together. We respect each others life's. To a point, lol AND IM PREPARED TO GET MY BUTT CHEWED BY YOU ALL HELP You are describing a very dysfunctional relationship here. Yuck. I seriously doubt that you or your friend really love your partners. Telling each other that if you are single that you'd be together conveys a desire to be with one another and not with your current spouses. I'm sorry, but not seeing LOVE anywhere here. Good luck. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 You don't do this to someone you love, that's for sure because if you really loved your husband at all then you definitely would have taken your marriage vows into consideration before you went and slept with your best friend's husband and your best friend if she finds out what you did then you will have lost her for good as a best friend. But even worse you will lose your husband in either scenario whether you tell him the truth or he finds out some other way but you made your bed and now you are going to have to lie in it. Even worse your best friend's husband he is going to have to live with what he's done the moment his wife finds out and then your husband is going to want to confront him so either way it is a lose-lose situation for all of you. Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 oh i love my bff and hubby so much that I just want to share the love! face palm............. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I don't think I have any advice to offer someone who's apparently so nonchalant about betraying her husband and "best friend", and who is likely to wind up busting up two marriages. Happy trails. Ah, lest you forget, an LOL at the end of the post makes it all okay. Agree, no love, or respect, here, so none to be lost. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Yes I love my husband, we have known each other for 10 years now. We have no kids. Great advice guys. As I do NOT want to lose there friendship. Get yourself fixed. Do not have kids. You will damage innocent children by bringing them into a world where you definition of love is SO TWISTED that they will need therapy for the rest of their lives. You don't love your husband. Best friend's husband does not love his wife. You are a horrible friend. People who love someone would not have sex with other people. Have some self-respect and get a divorce. At least you would be doing something honest to yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marriedNlost Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 Wow I'm so glad to be critizied by all of you. I just wanted some advice. Not one of you answered. I'm not supid I do know my consequences to my actions. And if u haven't been there don't judge. I'm not a bad person for doing what I did. I would be an excellent mother. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Wow I'm so glad to be critizied by all of you. I just wanted some advice. Not one of you answered. I'm not supid I do know my consequences to my actions. And if u haven't been there don't judge. I'm not a bad person for doing what I did. I would be an excellent mother. Nowhere in your post do you ask for advice. But, you do ask the question whether the man you had/having an affair with is thinking about you. The answer to that is, imho, yes. You see each other often, so it would be difficult for him not to. Does he feel the same way about you as you do him? No one knows for certain. BTW, having good parenting skills doesn't make you a good person. Just a good parent. Good luck. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Alwaysagain said it best. why ARE you still dating when you are married? I wonder if The reason your respective spouses stayed with you and OM after being caught is bnecause they have something going on too and just haven't been caught yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marriedNlost Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 No way are my husband and my best friend having sex. And the best fiend Has big suspicion we had sex. She never leaves our site. It just drives me nuts Cause I'm Falling hard for this guy. I feel it's mutual. He knows I have to Link to post Share on other sites
Author marriedNlost Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 He always makes conversation with me, even with The wife right there, I mentioned something I liked Last week and he got one for me, we play zombies online for hours His wife told me he was upset cause he played me And not her. I believe he does have feelings for me, But we can't do anything about it. When he talks to me He stares into my eyes. Ahh I'm just so lost inside Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Your not a mother so until you are no one can answer that question, will a paternity test be required, that's another question? You as a wife fail miserably, just my opinion. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Yes I love my husband, we have known each other for 10 years now. We have no kids. Great advice guys. As I do NOT want to lose there friendship. No way are my husband and my best friend having sex. And the best fiend Has big suspicion we had sex. She never leaves our site. It just drives me nuts Cause I'm Falling hard for this guy. I feel it's mutual. He knows I have to So, what is it you're looking for? A way to continue the A and stay married? To have an open marriage? That is fair if you want to mess around, your H should be able to as well. This may come down to you making a choice between your H and your friends. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marriedNlost Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 First you say But then... Wait, what? Do you mean you won't let him have sex with her (again?) or they wouldn't want to because frankly if that's the case, you've really got some nerve. They wouldn't have sex again, no I am not jealous Link to post Share on other sites
Author marriedNlost Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 What I want is him. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Your falling hard for the guy, so what, we should be happy as we watch the train wreck that's about to happen picking up speed? You've been caught once, his wife strongly suspects your doing her husband yet you persist, where is this going? If you book the place you intend to celebrate your divorce I will fly in and even offer to bring a few of the LS regulars, should be worth it for the entertainment value. Clackety clackety clackety clackety Woooooooo Woooooooo. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Wow I'm so glad to be critizied by all of you. I just wanted some advice. Not one of you answered. I'm not supid I do know my consequences to my actions. And if u haven't been there don't judge. I'm not a bad person for doing what I did. I would be an excellent mother. Do you honestly believe that? fame palm Link to post Share on other sites
It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 You answered this yourself, you really just want validation for what you are doing so here goes.... You and OM start an affair...yes he probably feels the same chemicals you are feeling(excitement of newness, danger, etc)...Is it LOVE? Nope, but that doesn't matter, those are some damn good chemicals. And they do last for a couple months! You want the OM. So what should do you do? You divorce your husband and become free to have a relationship with whomever, that comes with consequences, but you said you knew that so let's recap... You lose your 10 year marriage (and all that comes with that) division of assets, division of friends (ahem), splitting of family relationships etc. You lose someone who you claim is a friend (the OMW) but you aren't really her friend, so that's no loss right? You will lose respect of some people who will not abide by cheaters as a general rule. There will be people who no longer trust you around there spouses, because you do not respect boundaries. Your husband is now free to have whatever relationship he wants with whomever and you get to watch him. Maybe he's dreaming right now about some hot babe he works with but hasn't acted on it. So he could be really happy to be free of you, who knows? OMW gets to go find someone better than a guy who will cheat with his best friends wife (and wife's best friend) and better yet,she gets rid of a non friend who actively poaches her husband. (You didn't mention whether the other couple have children so not sure if this is busting up their family, or not.) The OM decides what he wants to do....but of course he will leave his wife for you right? Anyway....these feelings are so strong and you can't stop where they are headed, you can't stop having an affair with him, then leave your marriage. It would be the FIRST honorable thing you could do. Otherwise...invest in your marriage...ask for that advise and see what you get. You can't have both...at least not for long. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
grassisorisntgreener Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 I believe your main question was something like "does he think of me like I think of him"...the answer, yes, perhaps even more so. But I do think this is a really dangerous situation. Only because you are all such great friends, and the pain and hurt could eventually outweigh any of the good... Be careful. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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