She doesn't think this is wrong! Isn't this cheating?

[babybear]

Okay, I am trying to set a friend of mine straight...so pls. let me know if you think this is cool, or if I'm just overreacting. I have been cheated on before, so maybe that's why this sorta pisses me off.

 

I have a friend named Michelle who has a wonderful boyfriend Christopher. They've been together a yr. In September, he had to take a trip outta the country to finish up his dissertation. So, they are staying together during this break, which is only 3 months long. He's over there being absolutely faithful to her, and has just sent her a ticket to come out for 10 days and visit. Now, Michelle isn't sleeping with any guys, but she IS sleeping with 2 or 3 different girls. These are girls she knows, and they just end up making out and having sex. Doesn't happen with me and my female friends...but hey, what are ya gonna do?

 

I asked her if Chris knows, and she said NO! Don't tell him. I won't of course, but doesn't he have a right to know? And is this cheating? Is she being unfaithful, or is this acceptable? I know this is kinda unusual, but it pissed me off that she would let him be so faithful over there, and then play around this way!!!

 

Bb

[GirlDown]

if he knew about it, there wouldn't be a problem (if he didn't mind, of course.) but he doesn't.

 

just because they are the same sex doesn't make it not cheating. if it wasn't, she wouldn't hide it. if she considers this faithful, she is seriously disturbed.

 

ask her how she would feel if he boyfriend came back and said "i missed you so much, i slept with 2 or 3 guys for company. but i didn't cheat, cause they're the same as me!"

 

please. this girl has some issues. i hope you can talk some sense into her.

[CanadaGuy]

This is cheating, but if she would say to him that she wants to have a 3 some with him and another girl, I bet he will jump at the chance. If he doesn't, she should find someone who would like that (like me!!)

 

For many guys, that is the ultimate fantasy.

 

Unfortunately for me, my ex-fiance was not into women, just her boss (who is a man (well a worm) )!!

[Fritz]

Well since he doesn't know then yes, its cheating. It doesn't matter if its with other women instead of men. If it was right, she'd have no problem with him knowing about it. I'm quite sure you can get stds from lesbian sex and she's putting his health at risk besides possibly breaking his heart. I don't envy you being in this position. If she has any honor and love for this guy she should tell him what she's been up to while he's been away.

[shortbus74]

If it is not all open....it is cheating.....regardless of gender.................

[UCFKevin]

Exactly.

 

If it's something she doesn't want him to know about, it's cheating.

[Adunaphel]

It *is* cheating.... unless he knows(which is not the case) and is okay with it.

 

It is not like "if it's not cheating *for you*, then it's not cheating".

 

Any chances he once said he wouldn't mind if she slept with a girl, or even just that he would not be jealous of a lady and she took his words very literally?

(even if he said so, she should *tell* him she's sleeping with other girls)

 

Any chances they have discussed the subject "sleeping with people of the same sex", and he said that he does not mind nor need to know if she has sex with a girl?

[Katie-Lou]

Hello,

 

This is indeed cheating.. no matter what sex she is cheating with.. she is still sleeping with people she shouldn't be. And plus the fact that she's hiding it from her boyfriend.. well.. i'm affraid, yes, that is cheating.

 

I think you should talk to her, tell her what she's doing and if her boyfriend found out he'd be very upset (pressuming he would be, because if i found out my boyfriend was sleeping around with other guys i'd be upset) and just tell her to look at it from her boyfreinds point of veiw. Ask her whether making out with one of her 'girl friends' is worth risking the reletionship she has with her boyfriend. She may have a whole new prospective of the idea after you've spoken to her.

 

If you feel that she still hasn't.. and she still finds it acceptable.. then i think you should tell her boyfriend.. i know you obviously don't want to be a 'grass' but at the end of the day she is in the wrong and her boyfriend does have a right to know.

 

That's all i can say really, because i've never been in this kind of sitation myself.

 

Katie-Lou x

[babybear]

I don't think I'm going to say anything to him about it because it just isn't a role I want to play right now. But, I think I will give her a piece of my mind. Ironically, this is the same girl who advised me to dump my bf after he cheated on me. Go figure.

 

 

Bb

[Bryanp]

Just a quick question: If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you want someone

to tell you the truth?

[babybear]

Bryan, you totally have a point. When my bf cheated on me I was SO pissed at the couple of ppl who knew it happened and were just too diplomatic to tell me. But now that I'm one of them, I know how it feels to wish you never knew anything! Anyway, her bf is outta the country, so it's not like I can talk to him right now, but I will have a talk with this girl about it, and hopefully she will come clean to him. I guess there's a good chance that he won't even mind. I didn't know if I was being extra sensitive cause all this cheating just brings back some bad memories. It's like, can nobody be apart from their partner and keep their pants on? I mean, jeez!

 

 

Bb

[ItalianChick6422]

i say he has the right to kno as shocking as it may be to him he still should kno and yes, i consider it cheating, even though they where other girls its still cheating. something like this has happend to me before, but i found out my bf liked guys and stuff and trust me, i found that a really shocking.

[Karina]

OF COURSE SHE'S CHEATING. Her being BISEXUAL is something she should have a talk about with her BOYFRIEND.sleeping with other woman when you yourself are a woman doesn't justify it as NORMAL and OK. YOU are still cheating. She shouldn't tell her boyfriend unless she knows he wouldnt get upset about it, and would probably want to join in on her "other side". But if she knows he wouldn't like what she has been doing, than maybe what she should think about is changing her ways while her boyfriend is gone, and being faithful with him as he is being with her.

Woman think just like men do, so its hard sometimes to predict what's going to happen next.

 

 

-Kari