BonitaAppleBum Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 So a few months ago I made some posts. I had some suspicions but I had no idea the level of **** I was going through. He cheated on me multiple times with let's call her Amy, cheated on me with his ex of 4 years, Sharon, cheated on me with this girl Becca once at a party in the bathroom. You guys cannot believe the level of shock I was in. I knew something was up, but I had no idea it was this. I tricked him into thinking I hacked his twitter and knew everything. He ignored me for a few days and finally confessed to it all. I also found out his friends knew nothing about me. I've never been cheated on before and the lack of loyalty, respect, love and dignity that you receive when this happens is shattering. It's all I think about when I'm alone. I think about how they had sex, where multiple times, how he could've done this to me. I have nightmares. I'm at a constant struggle with myself. I feel like it was long distance, we've only met about 5 times but we hit it off extremely well. We talked all day everyday. We prayed together when things got to be strained and little did I know he was acting on my downfall. I feel like he's young, in school and partying. The temptation was too strong, he was confused about the long term ex, who I found out was beating him up while we were supposed to be together. The other things are just pure stupidity. But I feel like had I known that he was doing all of this I think I would've been ok. I don't believe in LDR. I would've been completely fine with dating him and other people. He said he understood that. But he didn't want me doing that... Selfish, childish and provably insecure. We are only 21 and so I'm like maybe after school when he is out of this environment, had time to mature and we are both in one city. I thought about this for about a month. Then I asked him well what's stopping you from doing this again? And he said he doesn't know... Which means that the possibility is very high. I asked him how could he do this? I asked him what's wrong with him and how can he say he loves me but behaves like this and I was kind of berating him and I said what do you not know how?! And he said he doesn't. He said he's never been in a relationship that's called on him to be faithful or one where he had to stand by his word. The girls didn't care what he did as long as he had sex with them. I'm like but you still know that that's not how you'd want to he treated. He agreed. Now it's like I hate him a lot. I don't want to try after college. But sometimes I feel bad for him. He acts like he's in love but that could be an act. What do you guys think? Is this a thing of immaturity? Or once a cheater, always a cheater? Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 (edited) He doesn't know how to be in a relationship. You want to teach him? Then stay. If not leave. Its not going to be easy and I'd just leave. Save yourself heartbreak. Edited July 2, 2013 by Keke1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted July 2, 2013 Author Share Posted July 2, 2013 He doesn't know how to be in a relationship. You want to teach him? Then stay. If not leave. Its not going to be easy and I'd just leave. Save yourself heartbreak. But why not? I can't teach anyone anything from long distance. He's going to have to wait. I just don't get what's so hard about treating people how you want to be treated. Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 But why not? I can't teach anyone anything from long distance. He's going to have to wait. I just don't get what's so hard about treating people how you want to be treated. That's rough really really rough I feel for you, but at the same time why would you even still want to be him especially after he has cheated on you time and time again because once a cheater always a cheater in my book Guys like him don't change, believe me You are much better off without him in your life and the sooner you move on from him the happier you will be Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 You feel bad for him? Please. Don't feel bad for cheaters. You think when he was banging Becca, Sharon and Amy and who knows what, he had any consideration for you? Feel bad for yourself. Cheaters are perfectly fine in the mental and emotional state they are in. He doesn't know why he cheats? It's because he can and he wants to and he doesn't care about who he hurts as long as he gets his penis wet. Why do you think his friends knew nothing about you? You know the answer to this. You are 21. Don't waste your years waiting on someone to mature and give you the relationship you want. Maturity doesn't happen overnight, it will take years and there is no guarantee that being in a different environment will make him see life in a different light. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 You only met 5 times? Move on, the guy probably has the same type of relationship with multiple people. Sorry for your pain, but you're better off without the person that caused it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted July 2, 2013 Author Share Posted July 2, 2013 That's rough really really rough I feel for you, but at the same time why would you even still want to be him especially after he has cheated on you time and time again because once a cheater always a cheater in my book Guys like him don't change, believe me You are much better off without him in your life and the sooner you move on from him the happier you will be I don't think cheaters change either. I just wanted to know if immaturity was his main reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted July 2, 2013 Author Share Posted July 2, 2013 You feel bad for him? Please. Don't feel bad for cheaters. You think when he was banging Becca, Sharon and Amy and who knows what, he had any consideration for you? Feel bad for yourself. Cheaters are perfectly fine in the mental and emotional state they are in. He doesn't know why he cheats? It's because he can and he wants to and he doesn't care about who he hurts as long as he gets his penis wet. Why do you think his friends knew nothing about you? You know the answer to this. You are 21. Don't waste your years waiting on someone to mature and give you the relationship you want. Maturity doesn't happen overnight, it will take years and there is no guarantee that being in a different environment will make him see life in a different light. Definitely agree. He just wants his penis wet. But his friends aren't really his friends. They bully him kind of. They're really mean. I think he was bullied most of his life and got to college and became this different person. I can definitely understand how people get caught up in these situations. But the lack of remorse troubles me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted July 2, 2013 Author Share Posted July 2, 2013 You only met 5 times? Move on, the guy probably has the same type of relationship with multiple people. Sorry for your pain, but you're better off without the person that caused it. Hung out the summer we met. Hung out thanksgiving and Christmas. Not met but those are the only times we can hang out because again this is long distance. Link to post Share on other sites
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