GorillaTheater Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 And what if you meet a girl who is as sexually open-minded as you are and won't say no to trying anything at least once...? Does this even become a concern...? Well, probably not. But there's always some damn thing to be unsettled about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 But there's always some damn thing to be unsettled about. Clearly! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 And what if you meet a girl who is as sexually open-minded as you are and won't say no to trying anything at least once...? Does this even become a concern...? That's a situation separate from op's. This is not an issue of sexual compatibility. Op has never even tried anal sex (so how does he know he really likes it) and never even brought it up to his gf until she mentioned she had done it before. Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 That's a situation separate from op's. This is not an issue of sexual compatibility. Op has never even tried anal sex (so how does he know he really likes it) and never even brought it up to his gf until she mentioned she had done it before. He doesn't know if he likes it... but he knows he wants to try it Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 That, and the mental vortex which sets in, the one where you start questioning whether your SO is as attracted to you as she was to the ex, what did this guy have that she was willing to things with him that she's not with you, etc. It can be quite the mindf*ck. This is actually the kid of the question... the mindf*ck ... Forget about anal sex... it doesn't matter what it is... if the person you are in a relationship with is not as caring, trusting, loving, generous or adventurous with you as she was with other guys... you need to ask yourself if you are the guy for her... obviously she is just settling with you... Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 He doesn't know if he likes it... but he knows he wants to try it He only wants to try it because she had it with someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 This is actually the kid of the question... the mindf*ck ... Forget about anal sex... it doesn't matter what it is... if the person you are in a relationship with is not as caring, trusting, loving, generous or adventurous with you as she was with other guys... you need to ask yourself if you are the guy for her... obviously she is just settling with you... What does ANY of that have to do with whether or not his ex gives up the anal? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 This thread is full of red herrings and straw men Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 What does ANY of that have to do with whether or not his ex gives up the anal? more adventurous = less inhibited = greater attraction/trust Totally! Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 That's a situation separate from op's. This is not an issue of sexual compatibility. Op has never even tried anal sex (so how does he know he really likes it) and never even brought it up to his gf until she mentioned she had done it before. Does it matter how it was prompted? If they watched porn one night and his interested was piqued from that, would this discussion have turned out differently? Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 He only wants to try it because she had it with someone else. and how it is the reason why he wants to try it important? He has said anyway that he had never tried it and he always wanted to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Does it matter how it was prompted? If they watched porn one night and his interested was piqued from that, would this discussion have turned out differently? Of course it matters how it was prompted. Intent is everything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Point being that this is NOT about anal sex or any specific sex act. It's about her ex having "gotten something" that he hasn't. It kinda reminds of when my daughters fight over a toy that neither of them wanted...until one of them thought to pick it up and now all of a sudden having that toy is a matter of life and death. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Of course it matters how it was prompted. Intent is everything. Maybe you can expand on that... so how the why of me wanting something affects to the fact that I want that? It really doesn't matter how you got to want something when you are already at the point you where you want it.... Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Maybe you can expand on that... so how the why of me wanting something affects to the fact that I want that? It really doesn't matter how you got to want something when you are already at the point you where you want it.... Because I would hope, that as grown adults, we'd be mature enough to not cry and have a hissy fit because someone has something and we have to have it, too. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 (edited) Because I would hope, that as grown adults, we'd be mature enough to not cry and have a hissy fit because someone has something and we have to have it, too. It is not about having something someone else had... it is about feeling that the person who is with you would go above and beyond for you than for anyone else She was willing to compromise and try things with other people .... she is not willing to go that far with OP... he is in his right to find that worrying... Edited July 5, 2013 by therhythm Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 It is not about having something someone else had... it is about feeling that the person who is with you would go above and beyond for you than for anyone else And this is defined by whether or not she has anal sex with you? There you have it ladies! Want to prove your love to your man? Give up the anal. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 And this is defined by whether or not she has anal sex with you? There you have it ladies! Want to prove your love to your man? Give up the anal. Apparently any old frikken reason is good enough to dump someone so guess witholding (denying! :eek::eek:) anal is as good as any Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 And this is defined by whether or not she has anal sex with you? There you have it ladies! Want to prove your love to your man? Give up the anal. Don't be absurd... I have already said that it has nothing to do with anal sex... change the context to traveling to Europe, or doing a cruise around the world... It doesn't matter... the fact reminds being that she was willing to be accommodating and compromising to do something with someone else that she is not willing to do for OP... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 I'm reading through another thread that I am finding highly entertaining and found this little nugget: In this case, the damage is nuclear. She declined sex with her husband so that she could perform sexual acts on another guy - things she wouldn't dream of doing with her husband. This draws that line that once you cross, you just can't come back from. The OM was "her man"- leaving hubby warming the bench. She gave of herself things the husband couldn't have - to another. There is just no way in hell to undo that damage. Stick a fork in this marriage - it's done. I understand that an ex and a current significant other is not the same as a spouse and a fling on the side, but the idea is the same. Your sexual openness certainly can correlate with the value you place on another person and your relationship with that person. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Don't be absurd... I have already said that it has nothing to do with anal sex... change the context to traveling to Europe, or doing a cruise around the world... It doesn't matter... the fact reminds being that she was willing to be accommodating and compromising to do something with someone else that she is not willing to do for OP... You can't compare a singular sex act to the vast experience of traveling to another country. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 You can't compare a singular sex act to the vast experience of traveling to another country. Yes, I can and I do it... for me the singular act is even more important than traveling to any country in the world! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 I'm reading through another thread that I am finding highly entertaining and found this little nugget: I understand that an ex and a current significant other is not the same as a spouse and a fling on the side, but the idea is the same. Your sexual openness certainly can correlate with the value you place on another person and your relationship with that person. To be honest, I still think we are getting trolled by op. That whole story about overhearing his gf's mom talk about HER having anal sex and how it's her "favorite"? I mean, c'mon...really!?!? Anyways...that being said, let's think about this logically. If she tried anal sex and it was her "favorite" why would she NOT try it with her current bf? She's actually DEPRIVING HERSELF of something she loves...thus it's not really being more "open" or "adventurous" or "daring". She's done it before, she loves it...this is a no brainer. The only logical answer (other than this whole story being contrived) is that she tried it, didn't like it, and doesn't want to try it again. End of story. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Yes, I can and I do it... for me the singular act is even more important than traveling to any country in the world! I'm sorry...but......what!?!? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 To be honest, I still think we are getting trolled by op. That whole story about overhearing his gf's mom talk about HER having anal sex and how it's her "favorite"? I mean, c'mon...really!?!? Anyways...that being said, let's think about this logically. If she tried anal sex and it was her "favorite" why would she NOT try it with her current bf? She's actually DEPRIVING HERSELF of something she loves...thus it's not really being more "open" or "adventurous" or "daring". She's done it before, she loves it...this is a no brainer. The only logical answer (other than this whole story being contrived) is that she tried it, didn't like it, and doesn't want to try it again. End of story. Or she is just being a manipulative jerk with the OP... You know there are this kind of crazy in the world Link to post Share on other sites
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