KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Or she is just being a manipulative jerk with the OP... You know there are this kind of crazy in the world Sounds like you have some women issues you need to work on. Not being mean, but the fact that THIS is the conclusion that you come to makes it pretty obvious. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 I'm sorry...but......what!?!? If I would have to choose if I had to deprive my self for one of the following things: a) to be able to do anal b) to travel around the world. I would choose to deprive myself from b... not a dingle doubt about that... But that is my preference and has nothing to do with OP. Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Sounds like you have some women issues you need to work on. Not being mean, but the fact that THIS is the conclusion that you come to makes it pretty obvious. Is about the third time you personalize your differences of criteria with me on me... I think that you do have a problem with me... but hell if I care. I don't have any problem with women, I love them.... they love me... is a great place to be but I just don't like when people play mean games... OP's girlfriend volunteer information to OP without any reason... Kind of "I used to do anal but if you want it screw you be cause I won't do it with you"... and I have women issues because I think she may be f*king with his mind? :eek: whatever! Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 To be honest, I still think we are getting trolled by op. Perhaps we did get trolled, but it brought a few issues to light that are common in relationships, including sexual compatibility and retroactive jealousy, one or more of which could have a role here. Anyways...that being said, let's think about this logically. If she tried anal sex and it was her "favorite" why would she NOT try it with her current bf? She's actually DEPRIVING HERSELF of something she loves...thus it's not really being more "open" or "adventurous" or "daring". She's done it before, she loves it...this is a no brainer. The only logical answer (other than this whole story being contrived) is that she tried it, didn't like it, and doesn't want to try it again. Eh, it's also possible that she cherished the experience so much with the ex that she promised herself she wouldn't do it again with anyone else...? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Eh, it's also possible that she cherished the experience so much with the ex that she promised herself she wouldn't do it again with anyone else...? I can promise you that not a single sexual person on this planet thinks this way, come on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Perhaps we did get trolled, but it brought a few issues to light that are common in relationships, including sexual compatibility and retroactive jealousy, one or more of which could have a role here. Eh, it's also possible that she cherished the experience so much with the ex that she promised herself she wouldn't do it again with anyone else...? It most definitely IS RJ. And I think you, and most people, would agree that RJ is very illogical. As for your last statement...I think you're just playing devil's advocate because I'm pretty sure you'd agree that it's a VERY slim chance that ANYONE refuses to do a certain sex act with someone else because it's "cherished". That's like saying you loved getting BJs from your ex so much you refused to ever let another woman give you one? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 It most definitely IS RJ. And I think you, and most people, would agree that RJ is very illogical. As for your last statement...I think you're just playing devil's advocate because I'm pretty sure you'd agree that it's a VERY slim chance that ANYONE refuses to do a certain sex act with someone else because it's "cherished". That's like saying you loved getting BJs from your ex so much you refused to ever let another woman give you one? It is funny you speak about jealousy... I don't think it has anything to do with it... not for me at least I am the least jealous person you can imagine but I am not willing to settle for anyone who will not go above and beyond for me than for anyone else... If she was willing to try things (doesn't need to be anal, I don't care what) with other people and she is not willing to at least give it a try with me it is over... Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 If she was willing to try things (doesn't need to be anal, I don't care what) with other people and she is not willing to at least give it a try with me it is over... No trips to Europe? Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 It most definitely IS RJ. And I think you, and most people, would agree that RJ is very illogical. It is illogical, but it's also real. As for your last statement...I think you're just playing devil's advocate because I'm pretty sure you'd agree that it's a VERY slim chance that ANYONE refuses to do a certain sex act with someone else because it's "cherished". That's like saying you loved getting BJs from your ex so much you refused to ever let another woman give you one?You know me too well. At the end of the day, whether it's by retroactive jealousy or sheer sexual curiosity, if she does not want to have anal sex, must OP resign himself to that fate? Is there no recourse? Or does he not deserve recourse? Is he not allowed to desire anal sex? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 No trips to Europe? I don't think I understand you.. but the answer is about everything, specially if it is an important thing for me or something I have never tried and I would like to try..... Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 I don't think I understand you.. but the answer is about everything, specially if it is an important thing for me or something I have never tried and I would like to try..... It's hard for me to take this thread seriously Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 It's hard for me to take this thread seriously Did you know that there is not obligation to read it? Link to post Share on other sites
AMusing Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Don't be absurd... I have already said that it has nothing to do with anal sex... change the context to traveling to Europe, or doing a cruise around the world... It doesn't matter... the fact reminds being that she was willing to be accommodating and compromising to do something with someone else that she is not willing to do for OP... Fine. I'll bite, even though I find your analogy between traveling and anal weak and misleading. Let's say my boyfriend tells me he went to Amsterdam with a past girlfriend. His mom tells me he had a fantastic time there. I've always thought a trip there would be fun, so I ask if he'd like to go again with me. Without hesitation he says no. My response would be exactly what I told OP to do with his gf: 1) Ask why (with curiosity, not judgement or anger or jealousy). How could there even be another response? Maybe he had a really bad experience he hasn't told anyone about, and even though he had a fun time up to that point, it soured the experience for him and he doesn't want to repeat it. Maybe he felt obligated to say he loved it, when in reality he was miserable the whole trip. Maybe he's not ready to travel with me, and did a bad job clarifying between never wanting to go with me, and not wanting to go with me at this point in our relationship. Or maybe he really did put more value into his past relationship, and turned down the trip because he just doesn't care enough about me. Regardless, I wouldn't know until I asked. I certainly wouldn't go in with the attitude of "What?!? You won't go with me?!? You aren't open-minded enough, travel is important to me, we're incompatible, we should break up." 2) Decide if his reasons for not wanting to go back are reasonable. If they are, I'd drop the subject and move on. There is literally a whole world left to explore, after all. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Did you know that there is not obligation to read it? this is LS, there are rules on this kind of thing Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Fine. I'll bite, even though I find your analogy between traveling and anal weak and misleading. Let's say my boyfriend tells me he went to Amsterdam with a past girlfriend. His mom tells me he had a fantastic time there. I've always thought a trip there would be fun, so I ask if he'd like to go again with me. Without hesitation he says no. My response would be exactly what I told OP to do with his gf: 1) Ask why (with curiosity, not judgement or anger or jealousy). How could there even be another response? Maybe he had a really bad experience he hasn't told anyone about, and even though he had a fun time up to that point, it soured the experience for him and he doesn't want to repeat it. Maybe he felt obligated to say he loved it, when in reality he was miserable the whole trip. Maybe he's not ready to travel with me, and did a bad job clarifying between never wanting to go with me, and not wanting to go with me at this point in our relationship. Or maybe he really did put more value into his past relationship, and turned down the trip because he just doesn't care enough about me. Regardless, I wouldn't know until I asked. I certainly wouldn't go in with the attitude of "What?!? You won't go with me?!? You aren't open-minded enough, travel is important to me, we're incompatible, we should break up." 2) Decide if his reasons for not wanting to go back are reasonable. If they are, I'd drop the subject and move on. There is literally a whole world left to explore, after all. Actually I do agree with you, totally... I have quoted myself already various times where I have asked OP to talk with his girlfriend about this... It may be a good reason for it... then I have nothing to say about the whole thing, or it may not and then is when I would just vanish from her life before she even say my name... Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 It's a guy thing. And I do think that men are more insecure than women, overall. Men and women are insecure at the same level but about different things. Really he should just end it with her. She had opportunity to explain why but failed to. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 It is illogical, but it's also real. You know me too well. At the end of the day, whether it's by retroactive jealousy or sheer sexual curiosity, if she does not want to have anal sex, must OP resign himself to that fate? Is there no recourse? Or does he not deserve recourse? Is he not allowed to desire anal sex? So he's supposed to break up with his gf because of a potentially illogical desire? If you're gonna do something drastic, the grounds for doing it better be exceptional. Wanting to have anal sex with your gf just because she did it with someone else just doesn't sound very exceptional to me. Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 So he's supposed to break up with his gf because of a potentially illogical desire? If you're gonna do something drastic, the grounds for doing it better be exceptional. Wanting to have anal sex with your gf just because she did it with someone else just doesn't sound very exceptional to me. I think it's more along the lines of how it got told to him. I didn't and I just won't do it anymore. No reason why the change. I mean he would be doing no different than she did. Sometimes in life you have to be cold blooded to let people know you are taking their sh*t 1 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 So he's supposed to break up with his gf because of a potentially illogical desire? If you're gonna do something drastic, the grounds for doing it better be exceptional. Wanting to have anal sex with your gf just because she did it with someone else just doesn't sound very exceptional to me. Isn't that settling...? Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 I think it's more along the lines of how it got told to him. I didn't and I just won't do it anymore. No reason why the change. I mean he would be doing no different than she did. Sometimes in life you have to be cold blooded to let people know you are taking their sh*t Assuming this whole story isn't BS, according to op, him and his gf were drunk and it just came out. I don't know about you, but I have a feeling it was more op ASKED than she told, but we'll never know the truth. Either way, alcohol has a way of making people say things they normally wouldn't say. It's not like they were having lunch with his parents and she blurted it out. Either way...it's out. You can't "unhear" something. So now what? It's easy for one of us to say what we would do...we're not romantically or emotionally involved. But say, it was a gf you loved dearly. Would you still drop her and leave? Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Isn't that settling...? I guess it depends on how BADLY you want that specific sex act. I think we're digressing from the topic a bit because op has made no mention that he REALLY REALLY HAS TO HAVE IT. Just that he "always wanted to try". Well...there's a lot of things I've wanted to try that I know I'll never get. Sex in a movie theater, mile high club, etc. Talked to my wife...ain't happening. She's just not a fan of public sex (unless she's drunk, then all gloves are off, but odds of her getting drunk in a movie theater or plane are pretty slim....unless we take an international flight or something...ok now I'M digressing ) Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Assuming this whole story isn't BS, according to op, him and his gf were drunk and it just came out. I don't know about you, but I have a feeling it was more op ASKED than she told, but we'll never know the truth. Either way, alcohol has a way of making people say things they normally wouldn't say. It's not like they were having lunch with his parents and she blurted it out. Either way...it's out. You can't "unhear" something. So now what? It's easy for one of us to say what we would do...we're not romantically or emotionally involved. But say, it was a gf you loved dearly. Would you still drop her and leave? Yeah but I have a very LOW tolerance for bad behavior from women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Yeah but I have a very LOW tolerance for bad behavior from women. THAT'S bad behavior? Good look with your endeavors in getting a nun to marry you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 THAT'S bad behavior? Good look with your endeavors in getting a nun to marry you. The way she said it was messed up. I would never tell a woman I used to do this but I won't anymore. Don't over dramatize my statement like a female. We all have preferences and its good it came out when she was a girlfriend and not a wife. He can end it and move on with his life with someone more compatible. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 The way she said it was messed up. I would never tell a woman I used to do this but I won't anymore. Don't over dramatize my statement like a female. We all have preferences and its good it came out when she was a girlfriend and not a wife. He can end it and move on with his life with someone more compatible. It's funny how much can be discovered about a person from just a single sentence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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