Weird thing

[Rob]

My girl and I have a nice relationship, when we are together, nothing keeps us apart, however, when we talk on the phone, we always get into stupid arguments. When we meet each other, we are back to normal. We can not keep our hands off each other. I decided to limit our conversations to 5 minutes per day, because everytime we talk more than 20 minutes, we get into some stupid arguments, and sometimes I am ready to break up with her.... I don't even know how we get there.

 

Am I going out of my mind?

 

I have known her for 9 monhts...

 

I want to hear whether you have heard of something like this

 

Thanks....

[Tony T]

There are three groups of people: visual, auditory, and kinesthetic.

 

Visual people do best in relationships and environments that are visually stimulating. They like art museums, taking drives in the country, movies, theatre, etc. Auditory people are most content hearing music, having converation, and being exposed to other suitable sounds. They are very fond of concerts, listening to music CDs, attending lectures, etc. Kinesthetic people are their best when action or movement is involved. They love amusement parks, picnics, taking long walks, participation in sports such as tennis, running, etc.

 

If your girl were auditory, as many are, she could probably talk on the phone for hours and be as content as happy as can be. The fact that your relationship thrives when the two of you are together in person says she is either a combination of visual and kinesthetic or mostly kinesthetic. (Probably the latter since she can't keep her hads off of you when you're together) You are probably more of a combination of auditory and kinesthetic.

 

If you try to identify the categories the people you deal with fall into as I have explained, most often you can deal with them much more effectively.

 

Just because your gal becomes discontented talking on the phone doesn't make her a bad person. Frankly, I would rather have a girl like yours who likes in-the-flesh interaction over that on the telephone.

 

Now, if you want to experiment on keeping her on the phone longer, center your conversations around action subjects or describing activities. That may hold her just a bit longer. I think you're just better off keeping the calls brief.

 

I hope that explains your predicament.

 

Merry Christmas!!!

[cera]

I'm surprised you guys have been together as long as you have, it seems to me that this is a relationship based mainly on physical attraction, which is why you are so good when you are together. Communication is obviously a problem, which happens with this type of relationship. Try and talk about this with your girlfriend. Then you can decide together if it's worth it to keep things as they are, work on better communication, or just break up completely.

My girl and I have a nice relationship, when we are together, nothing keeps us apart, however, when we talk on the phone, we always get into stupid arguments. When we meet each other, we are back to normal. We can not keep our hands off each other. I decided to limit our conversations to 5 minutes per day, because everytime we talk more than 20 minutes, we get into some stupid arguments, and sometimes I am ready to break up with her.... I don't even know how we get there.

 

Am I going out of my mind? I have known her for 9 monhts... I want to hear whether you have heard of something like this Thanks....

[Deejette]

I don't think it is a good sign that you can't talk to each other over the phone without getting into an argument (after more than 5 minutes). Couples need to show love on a number of levels, not just physical. They need to talk and listen to each other with respect. They need to have that special feeling of "the meeting of the minds."

 

If things are like this after only nine months, do you think they will get better? I tend to agree with Cera, this sounds like a relationship based on the physical. That physical attraction can disappear if you get too turned off with her behavior over the phone. When the physical stuff is removed, you are left with the person's personality. If those personalities clash, it is like a ticking timebomb, eventually signalling the end of the relationship.

I'm surprised you guys have been together as long as you have, it seems to me that this is a relationship based mainly on physical attraction, which is why you are so good when you are together. Communication is obviously a problem, which happens with this type of relationship. Try and talk about this with your girlfriend. Then you can decide together if it's worth it to keep things as they are, work on better communication, or just break up completely.