absolutely fkng fuming

[mammasita]

You're not trying, that's why.

 

Woe is me, why am I even entertaining this

[frederickkk]

Frederickk, buddy, your behavior is scary, and delusional.

 

You have to get a grip and get some help.

 

You aren't thinking clearly...this is really clear.

 

It's not about her anymore, it's about you.

 

You are self destructing. Get yourself some help.

 

I think I already have self destructed through boozing it out.

[Wambo]

Right now you are in a terrible state and unable to think straight. Any contact with her will result in disaster and makes things worst between you two.

 

Respect her wishes and leave her be. She will respect you for this.

 

You should be spending time pulling yourself back together again.

[TaraMaiden]

1. i dont have ocd.

2. nope not got bpd. if anything, she has.

 

This is no longer of any consequence. She is your ex, and has been out of your life for a long time.

You really should have moved on by now and dropped this utter nonsense.

 

I'im not dependant on someone else to be happy. she was it. the future. my future. the reason i went to college. the reason i gave a sht about my appearance.

Yes, you were. you hung your dependence for happiness, on her....

No, she wasn't. She was just your GF.

She quite obviously wasn't 'it', she wasn't your future, (because guess what...? if she had been, she still would be!)

You should have gone to college because you wanted to, and because you made yourself. That's not on anyone else to engineer for you, or drive...

You should always give a schytt about your appearance, for your own sake, not for anyone else's....

 

4. she never talks to me. ever. just silence. is she with someone else? i dont know.

Who cares??

She's probably had more than one guy, had sex with them and enjoyed her life!

Why should she tell you??

She has no obligation - but you - you should have moved on from this ages ago! You really shouldn't give a damn one way or the other - just presume she's moved on (which she obviously has!) and do likewise!

 

its better to know. i can then sack her off. she knows with the silence it keeps me hoping. its better to just know so i can get rid of everything we ever shared.

On the contrary - the deafening silence is as clear a signal as you could ever hope to get that yes: She has moved on. She is completely over you., Doesn't want to see you, hear form you, talk to you or communicate with you - because there - is - no - need.

 

It's over and done with and was over and done with the day it ended.

 

Sack her off with that.

It's all you're ever going to get....

 

nope, not mentally ill

 

Wrong.

This focused obsession certainly is a form of 'mental illness. This has made you stuck, obsessed and angry.

This is eating away at you, destructively and it's ALL - Self-Inflicted.

 

.....I'm not getting what i want and refusing to accept the situation. that isn't mentally ill. its called having the carpet pulled from beneath your feet and being royally ripped off.

 

You already have everything you want - but you're too blind and obsessed to see it.

It's over - she has as good as told you - by keeping out of your life.

Your refusal to accept this finality, is totally of your making. Nobody else's, and certainly not hers.

 

 

no counsellor is going to get rid of how i feel.

 

this girl has well and truly fked me up.

 

No counsellor can ever get rid of how you feel, because that's on you.

It's your fault you feel this way, and until you release, let go and accept that this is well and truly done with, you always will feel this way.

 

This girl has not fked you up at all.

She ended the relationship.

You still haven't.

This fked up-edness, is on your shoulders, not hers.

 

and one day, when she grows up, ill show her these posts, show her what i went through. she hasnt got a clue.

Why should she have a clue?? She has no clue because it's not her business! She moved on ages ago!

She's not the one who needs to grow up - that would be you!!

What you're going through is entirely self-inflicted and has nothing to do with her whatsoever!

You're to blame for where you are now - not her!!

 

You seriously need therapy!

Don't resist it! or you will never get over this mental 'sickness'!

[frederickkk]

I appreciate the lengthy replies and I understand where you are all coming from.

 

Why is my number on her new phone? Why accidentally call me 2 hours after being told not to contact her? Surely just block my number. Surely just block my email. Surely just block it all. Because any attempts on my part to contact her lands me in deep.

 

No obsessing here, a simple question.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

I appreciate the lengthy replies and I understand where you are all coming from.

 

Why is my number on her new phone? Why accidentally call me 2 hours after being told not to contact her? Surely just block my number. Surely just block my email. Surely just block it all. Because any attempts on my part to contact her lands me in deep.

 

No obsessing here, a simple question.

 

I have phone numbers in my phone (emails too) of a number of people I have no interest in talking to. Mostly so if I get a call from them my phone shows their name and I can ignore. I don't need to block them I just don't need to answer.

 

In your case I assume its to be able to prove you are harassing her, maybe?

 

I can think of a dozen reasons why it's there, none of them mean she has a deep seeded desire to rekindle what was over almost a year ago. Sorry, hurtful but true. Time for you to accept it. Get help for yourself to move on and be healthy.

[Renard99]

frederickkk...... you claim to not have any problems yet you ask the same questions again and again and expect a different answer (which I do believe is the famous definition of insanity).

 

You asked why she has your number before and I do believe I wrote something along the lines of: It's easier to screen your calls when you know who it is that's calling...and, as for the random accidental, back ground noise call you got from her.... I can guarantee that most people here have received a call from someones pocket at least once. So easy to do with today's touchscreen phones. It means NOTHING!

 

 

 

Or........... here's the completely untrue answer that you're really fishing for when you ask the same question over and over again....... it means she loves you with all her heart. She's madly obsessed with you and will stop at nothing to be with you. Silent phone calls dialed from someone's pocket are the most romantic thing someone could possible ever do. Forget diamond rings...... accidental silent phone calls are the way forward.

 

Can you see how stupid that sounds?

[Mme. Chaucer]

When I read your posts, I get the feeling that you are potentially dangerous to this woman, and that at the least, your obsessive stalking is messing up her life. Keep it up and you WILL go to jail.

 

People are allowed to break up with other people and carry on with their lives, even though it causes pain.

[frederickkk]

and why the silence?

 

i cant stand the silence.

 

just nothing.

[marqueemoon4]

Fred, buddy.. you are clearly struggling or you're the most committed troll I've ever seen.

 

Let.Her.Go. Then please get in to see a psychiatrist, please.

[TaraMaiden]

and why the silence?

 

i cant stand the silence.

 

just nothing.

 

What would be the point of any contact in her eyes?

 

She's implemented No Contact.

 

You do know what that is, don't you?

permit me to give you a hint:

 

See my signature.

 

There's a whole thread on 'No Contact' there.

 

It will answer your question.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Do you have only One Goal?

[Zammo25]

and why the silence?

 

i cant stand the silence.

 

just nothing.

 

That tends to be what happens after someone has dumped you and reported to the Police. Amazing I know.

[frederickkk]

yes ok.

 

how long do i have to be silent for?

 

will that order ever be lifted?

[AlexDP]

yes ok.

 

how long do i have to be silent for?

 

will that order ever be lifted?

 

 

Just stop. Take a trip to Norway. Or Australia. But stop doing this. It has been long enough.

 

Go away.

[Zammo25]

yes ok.

 

how long do i have to be silent for?

 

will that order ever be lifted?

 

Forever ! Jesus Wept ! There are 3.5 billion Women on this planet and who knows you may even be able to get hold of one. GIVE it up ! It is very tiresome and tedious now and a lot of people are a " work in progress " on this site after having their heart ripped out. Your rantings undermines and insults the good people on here trying to move on and listen to Tara Maiden, she has nailed this one. All in all get a fcking GRIP !

[TaraMaiden]

how long do i have to be silent for?

 

Until they prize your keyboard out of your cold, dead hands...

 

will that order ever be lifted?

 

I can think of absolutely no sound, logical, good or advisable reason why it ever should be, no.

[CarrieT]

will that order ever be lifted?

If I were here and knew you this way, I would *NEVER* lift the order.

 

how long do i have to be silent for?

The rest of your life.

 

 

Deal with it.

[Zammo25]

This site is for people that have been hurt BAD. What it is not for is to respond to the rantings of someone who never listens to anyone and is totally deluded. Their are other sites for that, like MIND. To constantly post this sh*t is an insult to everyone who is trying to pick up the pieces. Troll ? I don't think so I think he has totally lost the plot. I mean how can someone not get the silence means in reality, LEAVE ME ALONE. It is frankly beyond ridiculous now.

[frederickkk]

zammo....no sh*t. ive been hurt. i dont sleep. ive given up on everything.

 

ive left the bit** alone.

 

Enough

[SuperGeek]

I made the same mistake as you and let the pain of my last major relationship failure consume me for years.

 

You have to make a conscious decision to just let it go and move on.

 

Get into counselling or waste a lot more years of your life. I write from experience on not letting go.

 

Ask yourself this question? What would you do if she died? You'd have to move on then right? Stop being codependent and make yourself happy. You won't have a healthy relationship until you can be alone and be okay with it.

 

Your life from here on out is up to you and your choice in how you live it. You can either spend it good or you can spend it in a depression. It is up to you.

 

Maybe you need to spend another year wasting your life before you let yourself move on.

Edited July 4, 2013 by SuperGeek

[Zammo25]

zammo....no sh*t. ive been hurt. i dont sleep. ive given up on everything.

 

ive left the bit** alone.

 

Enough

 

You have 50 years of life left yet. A lot of people don't get that. Think of someone who has cancer and is terminal. Your whining over this bitch and a bitch she is it an insult to those people. She dumped you. So fcking what ? SCREW the Woman and make a happy life for yourself. Everyday you waste in your pit is a day MILLIONS would give thousands to live. Think on this.

[xXCountryXx]

The silence is the most deafening response she could possibly give you. It means she doesn't want anything to do with you, ever. The restraining order will never be lifted. You need to do yourself some good and delete all of her information from your records, get rid of all mementos, and all of the remaining possessions of hers you still may have.

There's no and if or buts here. It's over.

I know that's not something you want to read, but the truth is often one of the most painful things ever. You need to deal with your reality: she is gone and isn't coming back.

Just convince yourself that there are better women out there that you'll have a much more meaningful relationship with, because, dude... There are plenty of fish in this very big world. Just because one slipped through your fingers doesn't mean others will. Move on... The vast majority of those posting in this forum have or are in the process of it. Just follow the lead. Every person has a few significant others that break their hearts...

It's a rite of passage for people. You are not alone in this.

[adelia]

i dont mean to make light of freds or anyones issues but this post made me giggle so much and i really needed a good laugh thnks!! lol

 

 

Sane people know the answer to that question but instead of boring you and telling you some :)thing you won't believe... I propose a much more entertaining question.

 

What do you think?

 

Is she trapped underneath something heavy just out of the reach of her phone desperately wanting to talk and get back together with you?

 

Or has she been abducted by aliens and anal probing her somewhere in the far reaches of space?

 

Or has she been kidnapped and being held for ransom and during the kidnapping her phone was broken and because she forgot your phone number she is unable to contact you so that you can rescue her?

 

Or did solar flares cause some sort of database corruption in her cell phone provider that scrambles your number and even though she has called you thousands of times it goes to some other number?

 

So frederickkk... Why do you think there is silence?