Do I break up?

[pixy25]

I need sound advice from a third party. This is a long story, but I will try to keep it short. I have been with my significant other, now fiancé, for a total of six years. We met young while in college. We have been engaged for almost two years now and moved in together over a year ago. The problem is I’m confused. A little over a year ago I started having feelings for someone else. About three months ago, this someone else confessed his mutual feelings to me. Since then I have been a mess. I don’t know what to do. My fiancé and I almost broke up several times in the past three months due to my state of craziness and confusion. My partner and I have had several issues from early on in our relationship. These being poor communication on sides, too much arguing, bad fights, neglect, resentment, etc… We also come from very different backgrounds. We have been to counseling and basically have been told it is all in our hands if we want it to work. The thing is, I don’t know what I want and this is killing me. One day I want to work things out with my fiancé. the next I long to be with the other man. I even have dreams about him (the other one). We flirt quite a bit but have never been physical. I simply do not know what to do. I feel that I’m not 100% ready to breakup, and that if I do go this route he will be very hurt and probably never speak to me ever again. I need serious help before I make a decision such as marriage. Btw, I am 26 years old. Please help!

[morrigan]

You are definitely not ready to get married. Marriage is not a successful balm for fights and uncertainties.

 

It might end your relationship with your bf, but I would suggest saving money and moving out of your current residence. Be as honest with your bf as you can, and don't start up a new relationship right away with this other guy. You need time to yourself to decide whether you really want to be with your boyfriend because you love him, or if you're just staying in the relationship due to a comfort factor. He may or may not want to be with you anymore. That's the risk you are going to have to take, he has the right to his own feelings.

 

You might not want to do this--it's going to be hard emotionally and financially---but it's better to take a step back from this relationship right now than to get married to someone and regret it.