Author happy stillmore Posted July 5, 2013 Author Share Posted July 5, 2013 (edited) Pierre, as if I would cause pain to my kids if I was bored?! I am not in an abusive marriage nor is it hell. I'm clearly not happy with the state of my marriage. I can't make myself feel what I should for my H. Everyone can blame me. It is the hard truth. Edited July 5, 2013 by happy stillmore 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Pierre, as if I would cause pain to my kids if I was bored?! I am not in an abusive marriage nor is it hell. I'm clearly not happy with the state of my marriage. We both have to change the marriage but that isn't going to happen with H. Waiting for little kids to grow up is a fallacy. For your info: Little ones accept divorce with much more easy than grown kids. The latter are deeply hurt because they understand. Little kids accept things as they are because they are innocent. Furthermore, they will love you unconditionally. Grown up kids may hold a grudge forever. I think your H looks 100 times worse because you were having an affair. That is normal and it is known as rewriting marital history. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author happy stillmore Posted July 6, 2013 Author Share Posted July 6, 2013 Perhaps. I know my situation. You do not. I do appreciate your input though. I thank everyone for their advice. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 (edited) You sound like a wonderful understanding woman. I often struggle with how bad I feel about my relationship with mm. I truly feel bad for his wife and although she blames me and wishes me dead, I can't stop it. I want to at times but I can't. I love him so deeply that I would rather have him part time then not at all. What is so sad is im the only other person who feels her pain, and of course she knows the pain I feel. On a side note, did they end it on dday or before? My dday was almost 2 years ago. Thank you, I try to see it from all sides. I have been both (fMOW/fWS and BS) so can offer both point of views. I really liked what you said in bold and I find it true. Both the OW and the BS hurt for the same reasons and I believe both get the push and pull from the WS, I don't think it's just the OW who experiences this. At the end of the day I think both people would rather the MM just make a decision and get on with it. I felt stuck, just like MOW felt stuck and my WH felt stuck. Someone had to make a move and I didn't care if I was going to lose him. I wanted peace of mind. t/j In answer to your question, their relationship was dwindling before DDay, then ramped up again after DDay. It wasn't until I just started focusing on myself and moving forward with my life that he actually ended it with MOW. That was on DDay #4. Of course there are no guarantees I can only hope he is honest and wants to be where he is. end t/j Edited July 8, 2013 by ladydesigner Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts