zanzi Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I have screamed cried and fitted in public too. Sometimes I feel like I might switch at any moment from calm to hysterical. I have had depression since hitting adolescence and am now 21. The screaming fits started at age sixteen. I don't think Iv'e ever had a partner I haven't yelled at or easily lost my temper with. I don't trust my friends and feel like they talk about me behind my back, because when I first got with the guy I was seeing ( we had a fight today so don't think we are anymore) I slept with someone else in anger. I feel like everyone around me believes I am selfish and out of control because of the way I am. My mum doesn't like me very much, when I first got depression she wen't six months without talking to me. I hardly ever speak to her now. I have seen councillors and told them about my tendency to lose control and they have said I was "expressing myself." It seems like I cant stop expressing myself, screaming, fitting, and being unhappy and angry about everything. I expect people to look down on me and post negative things back to this post but I don't really care. Link to post Share on other sites
pie2 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Admitting you have a problem is the first step to change. I 100% think you can change these behaviors, but only if you really want it. Link to post Share on other sites
pcplod Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 As pie2 says, accepting is the first stage of a potential change process. I don't know who these counsellors were but they sound as if they are as about as useless as a chocolate teapot. I am going to suggest that your next stage of self-realisation is not just about accepting that you do what you do, to accepting responsibility for what you do. Tell yourself that no matter the circumstances your behaviour is unacceptable or tolerable. Be prepared to not only tell yourself this, but to tell others. Tell others who have been your victims and tell those who would help you that you unambiguously believe that it is unacceptable. The next counsellor who might tell you that you are "just expressing yourself" that is unacceptable, to you, that you express yourself in this manner. What you simply have is poor self-control, poor coping mechanisms. You need help with this, but most of this help must come from within, by a self-determination to overcome your poorer self. Instead of asking punters here "what is wrong with me", take a more proactive approach to your own salvation. Start researching on the Internet into temper tantrums, depression, anxiety, self-control, low self-esteem, mindfulness and cognitive behaviour therapy. It is going to be long, slow, hard slog but tell yourself it is worthwhile. Do not succumb to the funk of depression, acceptance of the inevitability of your dilemma. Fight it, get angry with yourself, not at others. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I expect people to look down on me and post negative things back to this post but I don't really care. Why do you have so much anxiety in your opinion? Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Have you ever physically struck or gotten violent with one of your partners? Link to post Share on other sites
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