CaterpillarGirl Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 I think I messed up, and I'm really not sure how to fix it. I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest now, since the confessional's not open til Saturday. Anyway, it has to do with my roommate. She and I are both working on our PhDs. Last weekend, she had a take-home preliminary exam (a real big deal) and asked me not to interrupt her at all and give her the entire weekend of quiet at our apartment (as the libraries were closed because of a football game). I agreed. Unfortunately, I broke this agreement. On Friday during the day I was at school. At night I went out with friends and came home around midnight (she was still up working) with my friend, who unfortunately had too much to drink and had to spend the night on the couch. No noise (except for maybe 5 min of talking) was made. My roommate was totally fine with this. Saturday, I cleaned up (quietly) around the house during the day, and went to work at my office. This is where things go downhill, apparently. My best friend here is in the midst of a fairly messy breakup. She was crying and upset and didn't want to go home to her house because of some roommate problems. I offered to let her come over. She brought a DVD over and we watched it. My roommate didn't say a word when I alerted her that we were coming or while we were there. My roommate left the apartment and went to stay with her boyfriend. My friend spent the night and left early the next morning. Sunday, I was out of the apartment from 10am to 9pm. I came back and essentially went to bed. Today, my roommate told me that she had been really angry that I brought over my heartbroken friend. I apologized and explained that I had obviously made the wrong choice, but I asked her why she didn't mention this when it happened. She said that she hadn't wanted to appear callous in asking my friend to leave, but that she really didn't care about my friend's problems. Which I can understand. Now I feel just awful about this, and although I've said I'm sorry, I don't know what to do to make it better. I'm not sure why I'm writing this...I guess I could just use any general advice or comments. I definitely understand that what I did was horrible. I feel so bad. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 You both sound like pretty level headed folks & your roommate, whilst pissed off about it, did the magnanimous thing & vacated rather than cause friction. It probably would have made it difficult for her to continue to study effectively. Buy her some flowers & apologise again. I'm sure that all will be forgiven! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 Geez, talk about a roomie having high demands! You have a life too! She can't realistically expect you to vacate the premises or be silent for 2 1/2 days?! Unless you guys have that mutual agreement, I think she's out in left field. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaterpillarGirl Posted October 19, 2004 Author Share Posted October 19, 2004 Thanks for the replies. I feel a little better having said all that. bluechocolate: You are right about her magnanimous act. I think I've been resenting the fact that she didn't say a word to me when I could have actually corrected the problem, but she wisely just removed herself from the situation. I'll try the flowers deal. tikibrandy: Well, I did agree to stay out of her hair, and it was only a one-time deal, so I guess I should have been able to stick to the rules. I'm sure she would have been willing to do the same for me, and done a better job at it! ~~CG Link to post Share on other sites
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