Am I in the wrong?

[loveneverfails93]

Prepare for a mouthful...please don't scroll past and take the time to provide some advice.

There's been a new love interest in my life. I've always had a crush on him, good looking and great character. After weeks of flirting and eye stare downs I gave him my number. After Bout a day of dirty texting he told me him and his gf got back together that day. I was extremely upset and wasn't scared to tell him that he just used me and that it was all just talk. He ended up coming over the same night and we ended up sleeping together. More than once. It was such a great night. Honestly, its one of the best nights I ever had. It was fun, there was hand holding, cuddling and lots of kissing. At one point I fed him some pineapple with my mouth. It was as if we were dating. I felt a real connection with him, I honest to God did. I'm pretty sure he felt it too, I could see it in his eyes if that makes any sense at all. He said that I made him feel really good and that its usually hard to sleep with people but I was very comfortable and I made it easy for him. We made a decision to not do it again which I understand since he has a gf. But he isn't acting like he doesn't want to end things...he works at the store right next to me and whenever I go in he makes dirty little innuendos about us. He hints that he wants to but can't. I feel like I'm going to go crazy over this man. What can I do? Please someone help me and let me know what you think. If you need to ask more questions to understand then go ahead and ask.

[Pierre]

Dirty from the onset.

 

He wants you as the concubine.

 

Not rocket science.

[ChasingCars]

Prepare for a mouthful...please don't scroll past and take the time to provide some advice.

There's been a new love interest in my life. I've always had a crush on him, good looking and great character. After weeks of flirting and eye stare downs I gave him my number. After Bout a day of dirty texting he told me him and his gf got back together that day.

 

At this point as much as it sucks for you, it should have been over- for now...for your wellbeing if nothing else

 

I was extremely upset and wasn't scared to tell him that he just used me and that it was all just talk. He ended up coming over the same night and we ended up sleeping together.

 

This sounds to me like you were sorta guilting/daring him to come sleep with you. Sleeping with him will just bond you more to him and hurt you.

 

More than once. It was such a great night. Honestly, its one of the best nights I ever had. It was fun, there was hand holding, cuddling and lots of kissing. At one point I fed him some pineapple with my mouth. It was as if we were dating. I felt a real connection with him, I honest to God did. I'm pretty sure he felt it too, I could see it in his eyes if that makes any sense at all.

 

Aw, sounds like you are projecting your feelings onto him. :/

 

 

He said that I made him feel really good and that its usually hard to sleep with people but I was very comfortable and I made it easy for him. We made a decision to not do it again which I understand since he has a gf.

 

"We" or he did?

 

 

But he isn't acting like he doesn't want to end things...he works at the store right next to me and whenever I go in he makes dirty little innuendos about us.

 

He may feel conflicted about having the option for sex with another, etc and be flirting with it. He may not know how to act at all, too. Since he had that resistance from you when he tried to tell you he was taken and had the pressure to sleep with you, now that he actually did have sex with you he may be concerned about not hurting your feelings or something Don't know unless you ask him how he feels but I wouldn't ask. Value yourself more by pulling away and he will too. Because...

 

 

 

He hints that he wants to but can't.

 

This right here. Respect him, respect yourself and heck- respect any future relationship you may have with him. Leave him alone for now until that relationship is over and he's available.

 

I feel like I'm going to go crazy over this man. What can I do? Please someone help me and let me know what you think. If you need to ask more questions to understand then go ahead and ask.

 

If you sleep with him and continue to try to get closer to him then you're setting yourself up in a trap.

You may very well have a real chance with him but do you want just an affair as a side dish that ends in a mess or do you want him to respect you enough for a relationship?

I would stand up, say "Ok- call me when you are single" and let him decide who he wants.

Make him come after you with his whole self- don't act desperate, don't devalue yourself, don't chase after him or he won't be as interested.

 

Also, if you ever do get to have a real relationship with him, it won't feel so dirty or insecure or any of the mental screws that come with a relationship built on dishonesty or complicated foundations.

 

IMHO

 

Wishing you the best possible outcome.

[DelusionalOne]

He used you for sex. He flirted with dirty talk, figured out that you would be an easy conquest. You were. He'll be back if you want to sleep with him again but you will never be his girlfriend. Like Pierre said, not rocket science.

[Quiet Storm]

You were angry and hurt that he was back with his gf, but instead of disengaging to protect yourself, you slept with him. Why?

 

He's not going to suddenly morph into a great guy. He's going to keep using you. The question is, will you continue to allow yourself to be used?

[JustAReformedGirl]

Oh honey, you just opened yourself up to a world of hurt.

 

When you called him out on his bullsh*t, he came over. he was likely trying to prove you wrong. Maybe he does have feelings for you, but it seems more like lust from where I'm standing. How did it go from you calling him out on his b.s., to him showing up at your door, to sex? How did you go from righteous indignation, to participating in sex, among other things?

 

He may actually care for you as a person, but if he truly cared for you, he either would have let you go when you called him out, or he would have broken up with his girlfriend. He would have admitted you were right, said he was sorry for doing that to you, and let you go, or made the choice to be with you.

 

He did neither. He's cake-eating, at this point. Regardless of whether he actually cares for you or not, his actions are selfish, and unfair to both you and his girlfriend. Don't let this continue. Confront him again; it's either you, or her. No more sexual innuendo, no more making eyes at you while he's with her.

 

If he decides to stick with her and starts ignoring you...well, there's your answer to the ultimatum. I'm sorry if it hurts you. It really is an unfair situation, especially for you and the gf. Neither one of you deserves to be jerked around like that.