8 months later

[Tmo2]

I forced myself to come back, I stopped coming to Ls a few months ago, around 5 months post bu. Anyways I was dumped in october '12. So about 8-9 months apart.

 

I can say it was good for me, I was in a relationship for 2.5 years with the girl. The breakup gave me time to think about myself, my goals, my desires. I took the relationship for granted. We always remained in contact, it was really tough though, it took me allot of time to accept it was over and move on.

 

She got in a relationship with some one else shortly after and stayed in it for around 7 months. We were long distance, so it was easy to avoid her. I met other women and became happy with being single. I spent more time with friends and I focused on my future.

 

Anyways, I am writing all of this because we came close again. She has said to me all what I wanted to hear a few months ago and she wants to try again. I'm not really excited when I think about it, but when I am with her, everything feels right.

[jerryh]

I forced myself to come back, I stopped coming to Ls a few months ago, around 5 months post bu. Anyways I was dumped in october '12. So about 8-9 months apart.

 

I can say it was good for me, I was in a relationship for 2.5 years with the girl. The breakup gave me time to think about myself, my goals, my desires. I took the relationship for granted. We always remained in contact, it was really tough though, it took me allot of time to accept it was over and move on.

 

She got in a relationship with some one else shortly after and stayed in it for around 7 months. We were long distance, so it was easy to avoid her. I met other women and became happy with being single. I spent more time with friends and I focused on my future.

 

Anyways, I am writing all of this because we came close again. She has said to me all what I wanted to hear a few months ago and she wants to try again. I'm not really excited when I think about it, but when I am with her, everything feels right.

 

Really happy for you man, go for it if your happy. Im going through same thing at the moment, she wants to be single and fought with me over small things, i too hope that my outcome although only three weeks in, turns out like yours.! be happy!

[Tenderheartbear]

Wow...this is huge. I just feel bad that you seem to have mixed feelings about it though. I suppose you have a lot of thinking to do...weighing pros and cons and such. Good luck! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that whatever decision you make is the right one for you

[Talulah]

Congratulations TMO! Did you go NC at all during that time? It seems that it would be really tough to keep in contact with someone for months after a break-up. I had to do it for almost two months and it was very difficult for me.

 

Was it the space that you both gave each other? Most people on LS would say just go to full NC and not talk to the person again. What's your take on it?

[golk]

I'm in a similar position. Pretty much same time frame as well. Out of nowhere the ex starts contacting me again. Basically told me it was a mistake and she's sorry and what I thought about us and if I still had feelings for her. It's a sticky situation.

[CherryT]

Take time to think about it. In my past relationship my ex and I broke up and got back together quite a bit. When we finally broke up for good, I went straight into NC. It was only a few months (4-5) when he started to contact me. I always wanted that day to come and I always thought I would be happy... but when it actually happened, I realized that I was stronger and that if we were to get back together things wouldn't be the same. We were different people, even with a short 4-5 months a part. The dust was settling and I could clearly see where we both went wrong. I wasn't sure whether or not I was ready or even wanting to go back... I requested time and he said he would give me as much time I needed because he needs to be with me.

 

Well, after I took some time and was really considering it... I found out he had cheated on me many times towards the end of our relationship (both emotionally and once physically). It was when things were getting bad and we were fighting a lot (within the last 5-6 months of our 4+ year relationship). Needless to say, I walked away and never looked back. He still contacts me once in awhile, but there is no love left.

 

I don't know the circumstances of your break up, but don't go back because it's easy or comfortable to get back into a routine. It's a lot more work rebuilding the relationship. You have to find out whether you can do that and especially if they can do it with you.