Coley09 Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Need Advice about Co-Worker I've been working in a new department for about 5 months now and during that time I think I've fallen madly in-love with my co-worker. The big problem is that she is engaged, she's been in that relationship for 7 yrs. and they have been living together for 5 yrs. I broke up with my ex of 4 years about 6 months ago, so I'm single and loving the freedom. Basically we work in an office where most people are in their late 40's/50s and we are both 33, so it was natural for me and her to communicate more often. Talking to each other led to flirting, and one day I asked her to lunch and lol she told me to meet her at a specific place and then jumped in her car and took me to a nice quite restaurant far from work, when I asked her why couldn't we just share cars from the office, she told me that she didn’t want people to get suspicious. I kinda find that weird, because we had never done anything to warrant suspicion. After that we basically started talking for about 20-30min everyday about everything from religion, politics, books etc. One day I asked her when she was getting married and she told me that she didn't want to get married and that she felt like she was wasting her time (by this time I had a huge crush on her). We went out for lunch again and she asked me about my relationship status and if I had any new prospect etc...I told her that I had a crush on somebody and her next question was” is it me?” I said yes because she caught me by surprise and didn't have a chance to lie. She told me that it was sweet but she was engaged and will never cheat but also that she feels “sorry” for me because I wouldn’t get what I want. I basically told her that I wasn’t expecting something and I will not stand in the way of her relationship and I only told her because she asked me. I promised her that I will never bring it up again. Since then her attitude towards me has changed, whenever we talk she blushes a lot and plays with her hair etc. I started to realize there was something strange between us quite soon. It wasn't unpleasant, it wasn't normal...! She’d tease me all the time, wind each other up and I'd find excuses to spend more time with her. Our conversations are all about sex now and she invited me to have a drink with her because she felt “bad” for me because she had turned me down, we went for drinks and had a blast, no physical contact. She told me that if she was single she wouldn’t hesitate to get together etc…I kinda played it cool. I’m falling hard for her and I have a feeling that she likes me too but I’m not sure and I made a promise that I won’t mess up her relationship, so last week I decided to limit our interaction by basically just having a professional relationship with her… and just yesterday she told me that she was very frustrated with her love life and maybe she should have a “boyfriend” on the side and keep her fiance for convenience (don’t know if she was serious or not). I want to know if I should pursuit this or if she is just playing games with me? I don’t know what to think anymore and I can’t stop thinking about her. Any advice will do please and thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Do you want to pursue it? Do you think you can respect her needs for privacy and discretion? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coley09 Posted July 5, 2013 Author Share Posted July 5, 2013 Do you want to pursue it? Do you think you can respect her needs for privacy and discretion? Yes I want her to be my gf, without a doubt but my worry is that she might be "playing" games for her enjoyment. As for privacy I certainly wont want the whole office talking about us or knowing anything. Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Yes I want her to be my gf, without a doubt You may never achieve the traditional bf-gf arrangement and that's why discretion and privacy are important. She may never leave the man she is engaged to marry for you and is only after what you can provide that he is not or can not give her at this moment. If that sounds like something you want, then pursue it. All the best! Link to post Share on other sites
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