I have a dream... (Warning-evil)

[Betterthanthis13]

I have this half baked idea to start a vigilante organization to bust cheaters left and right and just make them miserable. Just for fun. I'm so sick of the Ashley Madison crowd that romanticizes affairs and makes it all seem like no big deal to go around ruining people's mental health, spreading STI's, and breaking up families because they are horny and don't feel like dealing with their problems like grown ups. And it bothers me that the website is making so much money off of sickness and misery.

 

So my idea is to hire a bunch of escorts to sign up for profiles and go on dates. Arm them with iPhones. They can work whenever they feel like getting a free dinner. we are not paying them to have sex with anyone- that is illegal. They get paid per bust. If they can get:

 

-screen shots of the initial contact and communication on AM

-screen shots of the text interaction between themselves and target

-pics of their date (at restaurant, bar, whatever)

-recorded voice proof of them planning to continue the date and have sex at a hotel

-their full name and the city they live in, or enough identifying details

-a pic of their license plate

 

We could have all that info delivered to the spouse before the cheater even realizes his date isn't going to show up at the hotel.

 

Hahahahaha the wife could show up instead.

 

 

Ok I know this is crazy and would never work and is probably dangerous and would get me killed and is wrong for many reasons but I like to think about it.

[HopingAgain]

I think its a great idea!

[JustAReformedGirl]

Isn't there already an operation something like this? It seems sort of familiar.

[CarrieT]

Isn't there already an operation something like this? It seems sort of familiar.

 

Yes - Cheaterville-dot-com is the big one, but there are others. Google "expose the cheater" and you will see lots of links.

[HokeyReligions]

It won't stop them.

 

A friends now ex-wife once told me that before she married she only datedmarried men because she didn't want to deal eith the drama and boredom of a marriage. She would rather the guys wife deal with it. I don't know why she married my friend or why he married her. It didn't last very long. As soon as she graduated from school to be a paralegal she divorced him.

 

When hubby and I were dating he came to pick me ip from work. There was a super trashy woman there and I was warned that she would try to have sex with him. The ones that warned me assumed he would do it I guess. My answer "if she gets him she can have him" she did try - subtly and directly - he thought her absolutly trashy and wanted me away from her. I went back to school not long after and changed jobs. I felt dorry for her. She jumped into anyone's bed and sometimes did it for money and giftd. She was a real pretty girl but was so jealous when she heard I was getting married that she married her pimp boyfriend. He beat her and ended up in prison. I don't know if she's even still alive.

[Betterthanthis13]

Omg I never heard of cheaterville- I just looked at it. That is an interesting website.

 

My service is different though. Theirs is for revenge, to embarrass cheaters who have already been busted, and to warn future partners I guess if they happen to check the website when they start dating someone.

 

My imaginary service is more like an ongoing public service that randomly busts cheaters and exposes their secret life to the unsuspecting spouse. So if someone is trying to hook up on Ashley Madison they never know if the person they are meeting is really just a fellow cheater, or one of our secret agents.

[CantgetoveritNY]

Very interesting original idea. Cheaters.com is nothing like what you have thought of. It is a good idea.

 

Another poster said it won't stop them. Who cares? It will hurt them.

 

Or maybe we should not give pain to cheaters, even cheaters so evil they go to Ashley Madison? Maybe just trust in Karma to get them? I like your idea better OP.

 

I don't trust Karma. My WW was seduced by a medical professional while she was his patient. She was not the first. His wife knew about eight others and did nothing to stop this monster. I did. I don't trust Karma, I take action.

[Betterthanthis13]

Very interesting original idea. Cheaters.com is nothing like what you have thought of. It is a good idea.

 

Another poster said it won't stop them. Who cares? It will hurt them.

 

Or maybe we should not give pain to cheaters, even cheaters so evil they go to Ashley Madison? Maybe just trust in Karma to get them? I like your idea better OP.

 

I don't trust Karma. My WW was seduced by a medical professional while she was his patient. She was not the first. His wife knew about eight others and did nothing to stop this monster. I did. I don't trust Karma, I take action.

 

I am so sorry that happened to you. Good for you for taking action so he couldn't harm more people.

 

I know its a silly idea I'm just having a little fun with my thoughts today. It's totally unrealistic because first of all who would fund it? It's a money pit--paying all those escorts. Lol.

 

Morally, though? Pfffttt. Please. Don't join Ashley Madison and cheat- and you will have no problem with my secret agents. Heh.

 

And no nothing will stop determined cheaters. But I think it's vile that there's a website that rolls out the red carpet and glamorizes the whole mess. I've always been a strong supporter of freedom of speech and I still am- I'm not saying censor or take it down but for Pete's sake I don't have to agree with it or look the other way. Ill bet if I could get a couple successful busts in a few major cities I could get media coverage. Ashley Madison certainly gets enough, they are all over the Internet not to mention press coverage on news shows and in magazines and such.

 

I mean is this how we want our society to be? When I was younger it didn't seem this bad.

 

Am I turning into my grandmother?

[So happy together]

For me, the whole internet, find someone to cheat with thing is about the same as any other time, just a different means. Just like a brothel, for example. Or escorts. No difference, just a different way of getting what they are looking for.

 

I'm not sure how it would help to try and humiliate someone, why would you want to be as awful as the so called 'cheater'?

[So happy together]

Your post is confusing. In the first paragraph, you compare cheaters to hookers, but in the second paragraph you seem like you are supporting cheating.

 

Are you pro-cheating or anti-cheating?

 

Actually no, what I meant was that people that cheat, whether it is going to a brothel, calling an escort or getting online, it's no different. And all escorts are not 'hookers'... so there's that.

 

I'm neither anti or pro cheating. My R started out in an affair. We are now in an open relationship and he is in the middle of a divorce. We're really happy. I think every relationship is different and you can't lump them all together.

[save150]

I'm not sure how it would help to try and humiliate someone, why would you want to be as awful as the so called 'cheater'?

 

Because we were humiliated. BSs and OWs (ones who are completely in the dark about spouses and dedicated partners). If its good for the goose, its good for the gander.

 

You want to know how I am humiliated being a BS? I'm so humiliated by WS's affair I told NO ONE. Not one friend, coworker, relative, etc., etc. They all know and Like WH. They're thrilled about him. He is very well liked in both our combined families and circles. I would be humiliated telling them. Admitting to OUR friends and families that WH decided to F*****K an old high school friend behind my back for 2 years.

 

I have no one to talk to. Except this website for now. This has been the loneliest experience of my life. Oh I had a therapist. Didn't work out.

 

It's a wonderful thought those exposure web sites. I found one exclusively for the OW. Homewrecker dot com. WOW. I've read them all and guffawed over a bunch of entries. I sometimes draft up my entries on paper. Sit on them for a few days then destroy them. (Yes...journaling. Taught to me by a former Human Resources Manager.)

 

Will I submit? Depends on WH and how he conducts himself going forward.

[Betterthanthis13]

For me, the whole internet, find someone to cheat with thing is about the same as any other time, just a different means. Just like a brothel, for example. Or escorts. No difference, just a different way of getting what they are looking for.

 

I'm not sure how it would help to try and humiliate someone, why would you want to be as awful as the so called 'cheater'?

 

I'm not trying to humiliate anyone. Just trying to save innocent people from getting STI's and other disasters from their cheating spouse by providing them with the truth before its too late.

 

I have no problem with legalizing prostitution or brothels. I personally wouldn't want to participate in those activities but if single people want to act foolishly and work there or go there, fine by me. Or married peope with the permission of their spouse. Not a problem. It's cheating I have a problem with.

[So happy together]

Because we were humiliated. BSs and OWs (ones who are completely in the dark about spouses and dedicated partners). If its good for the goose, its good for the gander.

 

You want to know how I am humiliated being a BS? I'm so humiliated by WS's affair I told NO ONE. Not one friend, coworker, relative, etc., etc. They all know and Like WH. They're thrilled about him. He is very well liked in both our combined families and circles. I would be humiliated telling them. Admitting to OUR friends and families that WH decided to F*****K an old high school friend behind my back for 2 years.

 

I have no one to talk to. Except this website for now. This has been the loneliest experience of my life. Oh I had a therapist. Didn't work out.

 

It's a wonderful thought those exposure web sites. I found one exclusively for the OW. Homewrecker dot com. WOW. I've read them all and guffawed over a bunch of entries. I sometimes draft up my entries on paper. Sit on them for a few days then destroy them. (Yes...journaling. Taught to me by a former Human Resources Manager.)

 

Will I submit? Depends on WH and how he conducts himself going forward.

 

 

I'm really sorry to hear that. Two years was a long time. So it wasn't just ph*ck buddies, it was a full on relationship? I am not minimizing your pain, and I wasn't attacking the OP... it was a serious question. For me, it seems that if you think what they did is SO horrible, why would you want to stoop to that level? Why not just divorce and find someone who won't cheat on you?

[So happy together]

I'm not trying to humiliate anyone. Just trying to save innocent people from getting STI's and other disasters from their cheating spouse by providing them with the truth before its too late.

 

I have no problem with legalizing prostitution or brothels. I personally wouldn't want to participate in those activities but if single people want to act foolishly and work there or go there, fine by me. Or married peope with the permission of their spouse. Not a problem. It's cheating I have a problem with.

 

 

Um... this is a lot different from your previous posts in this thread. But either way, all good. I understand. Do you fit into any of the categories? BS/WS/OW? I was OW for about a year. We're in a R now.

[Betterthanthis13]

Because we were humiliated. BSs and OWs (ones who are completely in the dark about spouses and dedicated partners). If its good for the goose, its good for the gander.

 

You want to know how I am humiliated being a BS? I'm so humiliated by WS's affair I told NO ONE. Not one friend, coworker, relative, etc., etc. They all know and Like WH. They're thrilled about him. He is very well liked in both our combined families and circles. I would be humiliated telling them. Admitting to OUR friends and families that WH decided to F*****K an old high school friend behind my back for 2 years.

 

I have no one to talk to. Except this website for now. This has been the loneliest experience of my life. Oh I had a therapist. Didn't work out.

 

It's a wonderful thought those exposure web sites. I found one exclusively for the OW. Homewrecker dot com. WOW. I've read them all and guffawed over a bunch of entries. I sometimes draft up my entries on paper. Sit on them for a few days then destroy them. (Yes...journaling. Taught to me by a former Human Resources Manager.)

 

Will I submit? Depends on WH and how he conducts himself going forward.

 

2 years??? What a freaking scumbag. And you are the one suffering. I am truly sorry for your pain. This is where my crazy imaginary ideas of vigilante justice stem from. Pain. It sucks soooooo much. Hang in there.

[save150]

For me, it seems that if you think what they did is SO horrible, why would you want to stoop to that level? Why not just divorce and find someone who won't cheat on you?

 

I don't have a good answer for you So Happy. I really don't. Maybe I'm not done with him yet. There is still a lot of affection I have for him. A lot of fondness. And I'm trying to find the love back into my heart. It's not as broken as it was a few months ago. But not completely healed.

 

Or maybe, just maybe, I'm a little content now because I've been making a contingency plan. You know, Plan B, the Exit Strategy. And it is SO EXCELLENT. Executing it is going to be sheer genius. If I decide to.

[save150]

So it wasn't just ph*ck buddies, it was a full on relationship?

 

Oh you don't know the half of it. Maybe I'll start another thread or something outlining his deception. You might even decide to kill him yourself!

 

Maybe.

[Betterthanthis13]

Um... this is a lot different from your previous posts in this thread. But either way, all good. I understand. Do you fit into any of the categories? BS/WS/OW? I was OW for about a year. We're in a R now.

 

I'm a little scatterbrained I guess... I just have a severe dislike for Ashley Madison and the fact that it promotes affairs as a fun thing to do. "Life is short... Have an Affair" is their slogan. Kind of makes me want to puke my guts up.

 

I don't judge people for their individual choices or condemn anyone or think in black and white terms. I'm in a really awkward situation right now where my live in boyfriend of 3 years has decided he is a sex addict. He's going to meetings and wants me to stay with him. His physical cheating was more than a year ago but I am just now learning the true extent of what he was really up to--I thought it was much less, and at the time it originally happened I broke up with him and left- so complicated, I know. It's a mess. Everything I thought was reality was wrong. ALL wrong.

 

So I guess technically I am a BS? I don't know. I feel like I might wake up tomorrow and instead of the sky being blue and the grass being green, it wouldn't surprise me if aliens were flying around and really this whole time I've been on another planet and this is all one big joke. I'm waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out any minute now and tell me I've been punked.

[So happy together]

I'm a little scatterbrained I guess... I just have a severe dislike for Ashley Madison and the fact that it promotes affairs as a fun thing to do. "Life is short... Have an Affair" is their slogan. Kind of makes me want to puke my guts up.

 

I don't judge people for their individual choices or condemn anyone or think in black and white terms. I'm in a really awkward situation right now where my live in boyfriend of 3 years has decided he is a sex addict. He's going to meetings and wants me to stay with him. His physical cheating was more than a year ago but I am just now learning the true extent of what he was really up to--I thought it was much less, and at the time it originally happened I broke up with him and left- so complicated, I know. It's a mess. Everything I thought was reality was wrong. ALL wrong.

 

So I guess technically I am a BS? I don't know. I feel like I might wake up tomorrow and instead of the sky being blue and the grass being green, it wouldn't surprise me if aliens were flying around and really this whole time I've been on another planet and this is all one big joke. I'm waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out any minute now and tell me I've been punked.

 

 

I'm just going to gently say that if he is a sex addict, and you stay... you'll be wondering and worrying your whole life. Please, try to think about whether it is truly something you want to fight with like a snake in a sack your whole life. I'm sorry this happened to you. It's got to be terrible.

[So happy together]

I don't have a good answer for you So Happy. I really don't. Maybe I'm not done with him yet. There is still a lot of affection I have for him. A lot of fondness. And I'm trying to find the love back into my heart. It's not as broken as it was a few months ago. But not completely healed.

 

Or maybe, just maybe, I'm a little content now because I've been making a contingency plan. You know, Plan B, the Exit Strategy. And it is SO EXCELLENT. Executing it is going to be sheer genius. If I decide to.

 

 

I can understand your anger. At least you're prepared if it doesn't work out. I guess I seem like a hypocrite because I was OW, but I know it can't be easy to be in your sitch. Hang in there.

[Betterthanthis13]

I'm just going to gently say that if he is a sex addict, and you stay... you'll be wondering and worrying your whole life. Please, try to think about whether it is truly something you want to fight with like a snake in a sack your whole life. I'm sorry this happened to you. It's got to be terrible.

 

I'm not fighting for ****. I didn't do this. I feel like I have been the chump in the con job of the century.

 

I'm taking it day by day, learning all kinds of new and fascinating things about the world of infidelity, sex addiction, trauma counseling, 12 step programs, all sorts of stuff.

 

Once I get my head sorted out I can figure out what I want to do as far as the living arrangement goes. In the meantime I'm just worrying about myself. I care about the guy an it hurts like hell but this is out of my hands. I can not imagine any way that he could ever get me to trust him enough to want to make a life with him. So for now I'm just distancing myself until I can make a peaceful exit. He seems to think he can "recover" from his "addiction". I kind of think its all a bunch of crap. I've already allowed myself to get all tangled up in this disaster. I don't want to volunteer myself for more misery down the road.

 

But ummmm... Right now my nerves are shot and I cry like 30 times a day, and I know he is trying really hard.

 

Perhaps I will quit my job, sell all my stuff, break the lease and just go somewhere else far far away and start over. Anyone got a spare room for a crazy lady?

[Woggle]

I'm at the point where cheating is so common I don't care anymore. Just accept that you are one of the few faithful people in this world anymore.

[JustJana]

I have this half baked idea to start a vigilante organization to bust cheaters left and right and just make them miserable. Just for fun. I'm so sick of the Ashley Madison crowd that romanticizes affairs and makes it all seem like no big deal to go around ruining people's mental health, spreading STI's, and breaking up families because they are horny and don't feel like dealing with their problems like grown ups. And it bothers me that the website is making so much money off of sickness and misery.

 

So my idea is to hire a bunch of escorts to sign up for profiles and go on dates. Arm them with iPhones. They can work whenever they feel like getting a free dinner. we are not paying them to have sex with anyone- that is illegal. They get paid per bust. If they can get:

 

-screen shots of the initial contact and communication on AM

-screen shots of the text interaction between themselves and target

-pics of their date (at restaurant, bar, whatever)

-recorded voice proof of them planning to continue the date and have sex at a hotel

-their full name and the city they live in, or enough identifying details

-a pic of their license plate

 

We could have all that info delivered to the spouse before the cheater even realizes his date isn't going to show up at the hotel.

 

Hahahahaha the wife could show up instead.

 

 

Ok I know this is crazy and would never work and is probably dangerous and would get me killed and is wrong for many reasons but I like to think about it.

 

I just want to tell you that I did EXACTLY this for my project for work. I now need therapy & am afraid to really date anyone for fear they're just a lying asshat with a sweet wife & toddlers at home. I never fooled around with anyone but the texting/emails & getting dinners/coffee/drinks while looking into Ashley Madison. (I never knew if it was ok to list the site here) I feel like I need extra showers every time I think of it and I never allowed anything more than a kiss on the cheek (Remember I was portaying that I was married so it was easy to insist on "discretion) It's scary, it's dangerous & it warps your reality. I don't know if I will ever trust anyone again. It's a terrible thing to do to your "undercover" peeps.

It also probably wouldn't work the way you want, these people are very, very good at what they are doing. At least a third didn't give their real name, 2 showed up in rental cars or work vehicles & all had an "escape plan" in case it was a trap. Nice right?

[Betterthanthis13]

I just want to tell you that I did EXACTLY this for my project for work. I now need therapy & am afraid to really date anyone for fear they're just a lying asshat with a sweet wife & toddlers at home. I never fooled around with anyone but the texting/emails & getting dinners/coffee/drinks while looking into Ashley Madison. (I never knew if it was ok to list the site here) I feel like I need extra showers every time I think of it and I never allowed anything more than a kiss on the cheek (Remember I was portaying that I was married so it was easy to insist on "discretion) It's scary, it's dangerous & it warps your reality. I don't know if I will ever trust anyone again. It's a terrible thing to do to your "undercover" peeps.

It also probably wouldn't work the way you want, these people are very, very good at what they are doing. At least a third didn't give their real name, 2 showed up in rental cars or work vehicles & all had an "escape plan" in case it was a trap. Nice right?

 

So you are an investigative journalist and did an undercover assignment on AM?

 

I posted this thread as somewhat of a joke just to get some of my feelings out- I am aware that my idea is utter nonsense.

 

I feel VERY strongly about the negative impact this particular website is having on our collective lives. I wish there was something I could do about it. Im sorry you had the experience you did, but I for one appreciate your sacrifice to get the word out there.

 

I'd love to read your piece, if you can PM me with the article.

[Woggle]

I am as disgusted by Ashley Madison as anybody but there is no stopping it and it will only become more popular. Us faithful and non cheating people need to accept that we are the outcasts and the squares these days. You will not change the world.