I have a dream... (Warning-evil)

[Betterthanthis13]

I think you have to look at not just the stick approach but the carrot as well. The stick will work but it won't motivate the desired behavior, it will be done to avoid the stick but won't have as high a buy in. Figure out the carrot approach that is desirable to the masses and you will have a much higher buy in rate because there is a positive reward that will continue fueling the behavior. How will it benefit the person? What will they get? Why is it in their best interest to do so? What will keep them wanting to do so?

 

It may be a multi-pronged approach but more carrot than stick will get the best results.

 

Yes, thank you- you bring up some very good arguments. Legislating morality is an automatic fail and against what I stand for anyway. Positive reinforcement works better than than negative.

 

A strict cut off for cheaters would work if it were enforced by BS but is highly improbable and also puts the burden of responsibility on the innocent who are in shock and in a fragile state, and we ask them to make self sacrificing decisions swiftly and immediately every time? Well I guess that is an option if we had a SWAT team to come physically extract the offender for a year or so.

 

This is a very difficult problem. Thank you for humoring me with a serious reply. I wonder what they do with those drugs too.

 

(I don't do drugs, I don't want them)

[Betterthanthis13]

Cheating is about motivation.

 

I'll use the OP's situation as an example. Your BF cheated on you because he has a sex addiction. If he had come to you and told you that he had this addiction, that it needed treating, and that he was prone to cheating; you probably would have left him. Now you weren't going to leave him until you found out. So for him, his motivation was to decieve you because all other solutions were less desireable.

 

This isn't a situation of poor morals or lack of education, it's simply the most likely route for things to work. Sure, he's going to lose you, but he would have either way. He had motivation to decieve over being honest.

 

How many people out there would understand the desires their partner was feeling, and create a solution where they could be met without deception? Would you let your husband or wife sleep with someone in a situation that you could control to keep them from breaking your trust? Can't be pissed someone decieved you when you create a situation where they can't be open and honest with you.

 

Ok. When I first found out he cheated, I broke up with him. I was informed that he had cheated on me ONE time with ONE girl. I was suspicious but he "confessed" and "told me the truth"

 

Because he was honest finally I wanted to understand and stay friends. I did a lot of research on swingers and polyamory. I joined an online group for people who have multiple partners (not polygamy there is a big difference) and asked them a lot of questions about their lifestyle and told them that I thought my ex boyfriend should be part of their group because his preference was to carry on with more than one woman at a time.

 

The said they didn't want him, that their whole system was built on radical honesty and even though they have multiple partners they are vehemently opposed to cheating and lying and they pride themselves on their interpersonal communication skills. They said I was a much more likely candidate because I wasn't afraid to talk about difficult subjects and emotions, the fact that I didn't have the drive to seek out more than one sexual partner at a time was also normal, they have many people like that too. They call them monoamorous.

 

I dropped the whole subject at the time and mostly forgot about it, I'm bringing it up in response to your post now because it seems again like they have the better overall solution. If playing con man over an extended period of time is the "best option" to get what you want from someone you care about there is definitely something very wrong with the system. It's not only damaging to the person being conned, but to the person doing all the lying as well. Except sociopaths. They enjoy it.

 

And now the jokes on me since I took him back after he cheated on me "the one time with the one girl"

[will1988]

for a hot second I was thinking "I have a dream.... (Warning-evil)" thread was going to be about a crazy dream you had about MLK Jr giving his speach and then turning in to satan or something... or that little black and white children wouldn't get along.

 

no matter.

 

I agree, cheaters should be ousted... but at the sametime they do have a right to privacy. Yet, whatever ever they post in a public domain on the interwebs is technically not "private" so that stuff can be brought to light.

[Betterthanthis13]

But let me clarify my stance on polyamory.

 

I think it's great that they acknowledge the need for honesty when having sex with and conducting relationships with multiple partners. But they have just as much drama as regular people. I think they are delusional thinking that they can make multiple partner situations work long term. Some of them do I guess. Everyone is different.

 

But if more than half the women and half the men in committed relationships are straying for one reason or another, maybe they should have another option that doesn't include broken hearts, broken families, psychiatrists and divorce attorneys.

 

Half the people playing don't enjoy the game so they are cheating. We are all playing Monopoly. Put out a chess board.

 

Maybe the solution to my problem is a polyamory awareness campaign. Billboards, websites, blogs. "Life is Short. Relax, Be Honest and Get What You Really Want."

 

"P" tshirts, hats, nightclubs, stickers for your car, just make it cool somehow, not embarrassing. Make it all about independent thinking and honesty and making your mind up for yourself. Make it so that it's the "P" people who are being graciously nonjudgmental of the "M" people for not participating.

 

You know, like making a man think something was his idea all along and then he is really into it.

[Betterthanthis13]

for a hot second I was thinking "I have a dream.... (Warning-evil)" thread was going to be about a crazy dream you had about MLK Jr giving his speach and then turning in to satan or something... or that little black and white children wouldn't get along.

 

no matter.

 

I agree, cheaters should be ousted... but at the sametime they do have a right to privacy. Yet, whatever ever they post in a public domain on the interwebs is technically not "private" so that stuff can be brought to light.

 

The Internet is not private at all. If someone I know figures out who I am by all the details I've posted on this website and embarrasses me because of it, it's 100% my fault. I had the option not to go on the Internet and post details about my personal life. It wouldn't make their action of embarrassing me right, but I can't expect privacy when I go on the Internet, ever.

[will1988]

The Internet is not private at all. If someone I know figures out who I am by all the details I've posted on this website and embarrasses me because of it, it's 100% my fault. I had the option not to go on the Internet and post details about my personal life. It wouldn't make their action of embarrassing me right, but I can't expect privacy when I go on the Internet, ever.

 

True... but of course you can't go around posting people's bank account and social security numbers. You'll get a knock on the door from your local PD. However, I otherwise agree with you.

[Got it]

Yes, thank you- you bring up some very good arguments. Legislating morality is an automatic fail and against what I stand for anyway. Positive reinforcement works better than than negative.

 

A strict cut off for cheaters would work if it were enforced by BS but is highly improbable and also puts the burden of responsibility on the innocent who are in shock and in a fragile state, and we ask them to make self sacrificing decisions swiftly and immediately every time? Well I guess that is an option if we had a SWAT team to come physically extract the offender for a year or so.

 

This is a very difficult problem. Thank you for humoring me with a serious reply. I wonder what they do with those drugs too.

 

(I don't do drugs, I don't want them)

 

But if not on the BS then it is going to be the State. And what does the State gain from doing so?

 

I think pre nups are a good idea for people to get financial coverage in their marriage and have infidelity clauses in them. They aren't fail proof but it is a concerted effort to show what the consequences are of infidelity are placed from day one.

 

Oh and the drugs, yep it was crazy, Legal, HR and Operations were scrambling trying to figure out what to do about the drugs when the cops walked off. Just another day . . . lol

[Betterthanthis13]

But if not on the BS then it is going to be the State. And what does the State gain from doing so?

 

I think pre nups are a good idea for people to get financial coverage in their marriage and have infidelity clauses in them. They aren't fail proof but it is a concerted effort to show what the consequences are of infidelity are placed from day one.

 

Oh and the drugs, yep it was crazy, Legal, HR and Operations were scrambling trying to figure out what to do about the drugs when the cops walked off. Just another day . . . lol

 

Yes, pre-nups. Always an option. I always thought of them as being for wealthy people, and the enforcement of a pre-nup is in court, during a divorce settlement, and is financial. Getting paid off for being betrayed might be somewhat satisfying I suppose, but most people aren't rich, and the ones that are I don't think it affects all that much. Plus most people attempt R so by the time the pre-nup is enforced, all the damage is done.

 

Alternative pre-nups might be an idea. Simple court document filed at the beginning of a serious relationship or marriage. Maybe $200. Something easily enforceable by the BS, widely recognized, and really embarrassing. Like in the Scarlett Letter. Maybe you sign something saying if you get caught philandering you have to wear a bright neon orange bracelet for a month that everyone knows what it is. You really want to reconcile? Ok prove it. You get caught cheating again while that orange bracelet is on? Now you get a red bracelet and it stays on for 6 months. A third party has the key to prevent it from being removed. This forces the BS to stop playing ostrich and get their head out of the sand. It identifies all the serial cheaters. If you go to work every day at your office and the same people keep coming in with orange bracelets again and again well then... Don't set your friends up with them.

 

Of course a BS could choose to keep a secret and not make their WS put on the bracelet in the first place because they are too embarrassed this happened to them. And WS's are manipulative. But if enough people started doing it- it might work!

[Got it]

Yes, pre-nups. Always an option. I always thought of them as being for wealthy people, and the enforcement of a pre-nup is in court, during a divorce settlement, and is financial. Getting paid off for being betrayed might be somewhat satisfying I suppose, but most people aren't rich, and the ones that are I don't think it affects all that much. Plus most people attempt R so by the time the pre-nup is enforced, all the damage is done.

 

Alternative pre-nups might be an idea. Simple court document filed at the beginning of a serious relationship or marriage. Maybe $200. Something easily enforceable by the BS, widely recognized, and really embarrassing. Like in the Scarlett Letter. Maybe you sign something saying if you get caught philandering you have to wear a bright neon orange bracelet for a month that everyone knows what it is. You really want to reconcile? Ok prove it. You get caught cheating again while that orange bracelet is on? Now you get a red bracelet and it stays on for 6 months. A third party has the key to prevent it from being removed. This forces the BS to stop playing ostrich and get their head out of the sand. It identifies all the serial cheaters. If you go to work every day at your office and the same people keep coming in with orange bracelets again and again well then... Don't set your friends up with them.

 

Of course a BS could choose to keep a secret and not make their WS put on the bracelet in the first place because they are too embarrassed this happened to them. And WS's are manipulative. But if enough people started doing it- it might work!

 

But what you are trying to do is shame someone into proper behavior. What if the person doesn't care that they were cheating?

 

Yes a pre-nup requires divorce. If someone you are in business with steals from you do you stay in business with them? If they commit fraud do you keep them as a partner? Not usually. Usually you dissolve said business or you buy the other out. So yes a pre-nup will help a person know that at least financially they can leave and be in a better position, if there are children involved they will have "first right" to full custody. But yes it does require you severing the tie with them because they broke the contract.

 

If someone wants to lie, cheat or steal they will come up with 100 reasons why it was acceptable. I think, and from my little foray into the dating world, many people were upfront with cheating in past relationships. Now they said why, if and why they would or wouldn't do it again, but it is all taken at face value. And if someone wants to lie about it, then they are going to cover up the bracelet, convince you it is really a fashion accessory, etc. And shaming has not shown to be terribly effective, nor has capital punishment, in many societies. People will continue to commit crimes. In the middle ages they would draw and quarter people in front of crowds for just what you are stating. People still stole. States that have the death penalty do not show a lower homicide rate than states with no death penalty.

 

You can't protect yourself from being hurt if you open your heart up to someone. There are no guarantees they won't lie, cheat or steal. You do your best in evaluating them, get to know family and friends, talk to exes, find out if their prior dating history, try and talk to exes, and then hope for the best. You can have no warning signs, zilch and get blindsided.

 

I mean if you are going down this road, when dating, you can institute polygraphs, therapy, etc. but if you are doing all that, isn't just being alone better? If the risk is so great, and I don't dispute that the impact is harsh and terrible, but if you can't make the leap of faith, knowing you are going to be okay even if they royally screw up, then why not just be alone?

 

Sorry, I wish there was a solution, but there is no way to prevent it, there is no way to guard your heart, and there is no way to try and look into the future. You just won't know what you won't know until you know it. Life sucks at times and people will do awful things even to the ones they profess to love.

 

There are things you can personally try and do, the prenup (see if someone will just sign it), polygraphs, therapy, etc. right off the bat, but what do you get then?

 

I really wish I had an answer. I wish I knew better what to say. I don't think cheating is a good coping mechanism, I have learned a lot with my affair and I have learned the consequences to it. My husband and I both regret not waiting as it ultimately was just needless. We were both going to divorce. That was apparent. We didn't need the impetus or safety net. And I remember in the beginning, "for once I am going to do something just for me" and boy I did. And I have learned how that comes with some harsh consequences.

 

I am sorry for your pain and I am sorry for your struggles. I know it sucks the big doughnut right now and there are no way to ease it but just one foot in front of the other. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right and you didn't deserve it.

[Betterthanthis13]

 

I get it... I'm working on it. No public humiliation or hangings. Hehe.

 

Just seems a bit bizarre to me that everything follows you around in life with a paper trail (online trail) that you cannot escape- your credit, your grades, your work history, how much taxes you paid, where you have lived, criminal record, professional licenses...

 

But your history of serial cheating? Your repetitive disregard for monogamy? The fact that you even though you COULD seek out like-minded individuals simply by being honest about your preferences to sleep around, you don't. Too much work. Cheating is easier.

 

Nope, that's none of my business. Private information!!

 

If I run a restaurant I have to deal with Yelpers on a daily basis commenting online for the public to see what they thought of my restaurant. Yelpers are not always accurate, reasonable, or polite. Sometimes they are petty and stupid. I have to make sure that every guest enjoys their experience because one of them could be a food critic and write a review in the paper the next day. One of them could be the health inspector. Whenever something goes awry with one of these people I go above and beyond to make things right because I care about my reputation and my restaurant, and whatever happened was an honest mistake.

 

If I'm running a dirty, nasty restaurant and the food is terrible I'll eventually get shut down. People will know. It's highly unlikely any investors will hire me for another restaurant if I get shut down for sanitation or giving a bunch of people food poisoning. Are the threats of the health inspector, public humiliation on Yelp, and bad reviews in the paper the only reasons I run a good clean restaurant? No. I love running a restaurant. If I wanted to be dirty and nasty I would buy a hot dog stand or run the all you can eat lunch buffet at a strip club.

 

But if Yelp, health inspectors, and restaurant critics didn't exist? Any nasty person could run a restaurant. As long as the food looks presentable by the time it gets to the table, who cares what happened to it in the kitchen? Who cares if its called steak on the menu but its really horsemeat? Who cares if they are serving your food on a plate that hasn't been washed?

 

If that was the case and i had no way to determine if a restaurant was clean or not, and all I had to go on was a guy out front saying, come eat! We have great food. I promise the kitchen is clean. Ask my mom, she's right here.

 

I would not eat in restaurants.

 

 

So I guess you are right. By my own logic and restaurant example I am just going to be alone forever.

 

Ok I think I have more healing to do. Off to group therapy I go.

Edited July 9, 2013 by Betterthanthis13

[JustJana]

 

I get it... I'm working on it. No public humiliation or hangings. Hehe.

 

 

 

So I guess you are right. By my own logic and restaurant example I am just going to be alone forever.

 

Ok I think I have more healing to do. Off to group therapy I go.

Please lets have the public hangings?I like the bracelet idea too. I guess I might end up alone forever too. Got room at group therapy? I may have just imploded the possibility of the nicest guy I've met in a long time because I'm sure he has to either have been a cheater or is doing so now.

[Betterthanthis13]

Please lets have the public hangings?I like the bracelet idea too. I guess I might end up alone forever too. Got room at group therapy? I may have just imploded the possibility of the nicest guy I've met in a long time because I'm sure he has to either have been a cheater or is doing so now.

 

Aww. I hope he's a nice guy. It sucks that assignment took such a toll on you. This group is no good. It's for partners of sex addicts. The stories I hear in here make me worse I think.

 

It just seems bizarro and illogical that if you apply for a job, they check your references to make sure that oh, you know, you didn't get canned for robbing your previous employers blind. That doesn't assure the new employer 100 % that you won't steal from them but its better than not checking and accidentally hiring a smooth talking career criminal.

 

So why is it so out of the question that we know what we are getting into with a new relationship? If it was standard procedure for people to keep a list of ex's contact info for references .... Haha too easy to fake.

 

Yelp for people?

 

That would be a ****show.

[Confused48]

But what you are trying to do is shame someone into proper behavior. What if the person doesn't care that they were cheating?

 

Yes a pre-nup requires divorce. If someone you are in business with steals from you do you stay in business with them? If they commit fraud do you keep them as a partner? Not usually. Usually you dissolve said business or you buy the other out. So yes a pre-nup will help a person know that at least financially they can leave and be in a better position, if there are children involved they will have "first right" to full custody. But yes it does require you severing the tie with them because they broke the contract.

 

If someone wants to lie, cheat or steal they will come up with 100 reasons why it was acceptable. I think, and from my little foray into the dating world, many people were upfront with cheating in past relationships. Now they said why, if and why they would or wouldn't do it again, but it is all taken at face value. And if someone wants to lie about it, then they are going to cover up the bracelet, convince you it is really a fashion accessory, etc. And shaming has not shown to be terribly effective, nor has capital punishment, in many societies. People will continue to commit crimes. In the middle ages they would draw and quarter people in front of crowds for just what you are stating. People still stole. States that have the death penalty do not show a lower homicide rate than states with no death penalty.

 

You can't protect yourself from being hurt if you open your heart up to someone. There are no guarantees they won't lie, cheat or steal. You do your best in evaluating them, get to know family and friends, talk to exes, find out if their prior dating history, try and talk to exes, and then hope for the best. You can have no warning signs, zilch and get blindsided.

 

I mean if you are going down this road, when dating, you can institute polygraphs, therapy, etc. but if you are doing all that, isn't just being alone better? If the risk is so great, and I don't dispute that the impact is harsh and terrible, but if you can't make the leap of faith, knowing you are going to be okay even if they royally screw up, then why not just be alone?

 

Sorry, I wish there was a solution, but there is no way to prevent it, there is no way to guard your heart, and there is no way to try and look into the future. You just won't know what you won't know until you know it. Life sucks at times and people will do awful things even to the ones they profess to love.

 

There are things you can personally try and do, the prenup (see if someone will just sign it), polygraphs, therapy, etc. right off the bat, but what do you get then?

 

I really wish I had an answer. I wish I knew better what to say. I don't think cheating is a good coping mechanism, I have learned a lot with my affair and I have learned the consequences to it. My husband and I both regret not waiting as it ultimately was just needless. We were both going to divorce. That was apparent. We didn't need the impetus or safety net. And I remember in the beginning, "for once I am going to do something just for me" and boy I did. And I have learned how that comes with some harsh consequences.

 

I am sorry for your pain and I am sorry for your struggles. I know it sucks the big doughnut right now and there are no way to ease it but just one foot in front of the other. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right and you didn't deserve it.

 

 

Lighten up Got It. This is fantasy talk. Hyperbole. Letting steam off. I hope you know when I said, Sharia law lets stone them, I was not serious. Please don't call the FBI on this thread.

[Betterthanthis13]

Ok guys. Pick this one apart. Tell me why I have a MORAL obligation not to do this. Aside from possible lawsuits. I'm not really going to do this.

 

A website or YouTube channel called

Mashley Addison

"Life is Short. Have some fun with Scumbag cheaters"

 

Boyfriend or husband cheated on you? Feel powerless? Nothing you can do about it? Well you are right. There is nothing you can do to him that won't make you feel worse. A revenge affair will make you just as bad as him. If you kill him you will go to jail for murder. Destroy his property and you are also breaking the law and risking a jail sentence. Stop wasting your time crying and yelling at that no good cheater and do something productive. Help a fellow chump in need while creating a hilarious video that will make you feel better, send a message to society that we will not quietly tolerate websites that promote, glamorize and facilitate cheating as a lifestyle choice.

 

Here's how it works.

 

1. Sign up for a profile on AM.

2. Get a date

3. Go on the date

4. Bring a friend to sit quietly nearby and film stealthily

5. After a few minutes create a giant scene, embarass the hell out of the guy making sure everyone in the place knows how you met and what is going on, throw your drink in his face, tell him hes been "Mashley'd!!" and leave.

6. Submit video. We will fuzzy out the faces and post the hilarious footage.

[Got it]

Ok guys. Pick this one apart. Tell me why I have a MORAL obligation not to do this. Aside from possible lawsuits. I'm not really going to do this.

 

A website or YouTube channel called

Mashley Addison

"Life is Short. Have some fun with Scumbag cheaters"

 

Boyfriend or husband cheated on you? Feel powerless? Nothing you can do about it? Well you are right. There is nothing you can do to him that won't make you feel worse. A revenge affair will make you just as bad as him. If you kill him you will go to jail for murder. Destroy his property and you are also breaking the law and risking a jail sentence. Stop wasting your time crying and yelling at that no good cheater and do something productive. Help a fellow chump in need while creating a hilarious video that will make you feel better, send a message to society that we will not quietly tolerate websites that promote, glamorize and facilitate cheating as a lifestyle choice.

 

Here's how it works.

 

1. Sign up for a profile on AM.

2. Get a date

3. Go on the date

4. Bring a friend to sit quietly nearby and film stealthily

5. After a few minutes create a giant scene, embarass the hell out of the guy making sure everyone in the place knows how you met and what is going on, throw your drink in his face, tell him hes been "Mashley'd!!" and leave.

6. Submit video. We will fuzzy out the faces and post the hilarious footage.

 

Since I was told to lighten up, do you want my devil's advocate side on it?

 

I think, while it wasn't tied to AM, there was a show on tv where people were set up to see if they would cheat, taped, and then confronted by their significant other. It was on some cable channel but I am blanking on the title.

[Betterthanthis13]

She wouldn't be. Thats pretty much impossible;)

 

Impossible? Hardly. There are good looking guys everywhere. Sometimes they hit on me. Sometimes I'm attracted to them. I'm told I'm still pretty even though I'm not the youngest thing anymore. Sometimes I'm mad at/feel distant from/am thinking of breaking up with my partner but not sure yet. And I like sex. A lot.

 

I actively and at all times choose of my own free will not to be a cheater, by not putting myself in situations that could lead to a problem for me. That's exactly what makes me not as bad as a cheater. I've been like that since I started dating boys back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I really don't understand why all people don't either play by these same rules, or simply be in honest, open polyamorous relationships.

[Betterthanthis13]

Since I was told to lighten up, do you want my devil's advocate side on it?

 

I think, while it wasn't tied to AM, there was a show on tv where people were set up to see if they would cheat, taped, and then confronted by their significant other. It was on some cable channel but I am blanking on the title.

 

Oh!! Yeah you are right---it was on an island I think. I scrapped this idea anyway I'm into a whole new new thing on the pyramid thread where I'm putting people through marriage boot camp and making them take in foster kids before they can get married now anyway. Haha good memory!

[Betterthanthis13]

Thats not what I meant. I meant it would be impossible for you to be just as awful as a cheater. Unless of course you became one yourself.

 

I know i wasn't trying to be contrary, I was running with it. The only way to be as bad as a cheater is to become one. I was saying I could do that- but I choose not to. It's a choice. There's no mystery. Right on!

Edited July 12, 2013 by Betterthanthis13

[Got it]

Oh!! Yeah you are right---it was on an island I think. I scrapped this idea anyway I'm into a whole new new thing on the pyramid thread where I'm putting people through marriage boot camp and making them take in foster kids before they can get married now anyway. Haha good memory!

 

No, it wasn't on an island, it was just a show where someone would call in to set up their SO because they thought they might be cheating. The show would find out where the SO was, and do a set up at a bar, etc and see if they person would take the actor up on their offer.

 

I like your marriage bootcamp and a great idea! You need to recreate the home roles, finances, etc as well!

[Betterthanthis13]

A sting operation tv show? Haha. I missed that one. The show I was thinking of was "Temptation Island". It was a reality show a few years back, really stupid. They would send one half of a couple who was having problems to an island with a group of good looking members of the opposite sex to go jet skiing and have fun while the one who was left behind watched it all on video with the host.

 

Didn't high schools at some point used to offer "Home Ec" classes where you had a mock marriage and had to take care of an egg like a baby, and learn how to do a budget and stuff? or is that just a sit-com myth? That seems like it is sort of like my boot camp idea if it ever really existed.

[Trimmer]

No, it wasn't on an island, it was just a show where someone would call in to set up their SO because they thought they might be cheating. The show would find out where the SO was, and do a set up at a bar, etc and see if they person would take the actor up on their offer.

 

I like your marriage bootcamp and a great idea! You need to recreate the home roles, finances, etc as well!

The one I remember was a show called, appropriately, "Cheaters", and they didn't entrap their targets by having an actor come on to the potential cheater, they just did their detective work and found them while they were cheating - with long lens cameras through windows, coming in and out of houses and hotel rooms, in cars, etc. and once they had enough "evidence", they showed it to the BS, then ambushed the cheater with the BS present, and filmed the giant clusterf**k that ensued.

 

The host had dark hair, and this goatee or something like that - he was all compassionate toward the BS, but knowing it was being filmed for profit, my impression was he came off kinda creepy...

 

Edited to add: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheaters "Joey Greco" was the host I remember.

Edited July 14, 2013 by Trimmer

[hoping2heal]

For me, the whole internet, find someone to cheat with thing is about the same as any other time, just a different means. Just like a brothel, for example. Or escorts. No difference, just a different way of getting what they are looking for.

 

I'm not sure how it would help to try and humiliate someone, why would you want to be as awful as the so called 'cheater'?

 

This is interesting. You equate exposing someone's infidelity with being as bad as the actual infidelity? Is turning in a co-worker who's been embezzling money from the company as bad as being the embezzler yourself? I personally don't but to each person their own rationalization I suppose.

 

Cheaters damage trust, they hurt people, the worst cheaters hurt children. They care about their needs only front and center. Then their AP's dangle them around like they're some kind of prize. Oh the logic in that one. They may take a different way of "looking for what they want" but it makes their act no less despicable. I do understand what you're saying but what I don't agree with is that people who expose and humiliate cheaters are as bad as the cheaters themselves.

[Betterthanthis13]

This is interesting. You equate exposing someone's infidelity with being as bad as the actual infidelity? Is turning in a co-worker who's been embezzling money from the company as bad as being the embezzler yourself? I personally don't but to each person their own rationalization I suppose.

 

Cheaters damage trust, they hurt people, the worst cheaters hurt children. They care about their needs only front and center. Then their AP's dangle them around like they're some kind of prize. Oh the logic in that one. They may take a different way of "looking for what they want" but it makes their act no less despicable. I do understand what you're saying but what I don't agree with is that people who expose and humiliate cheaters are as bad as the cheaters themselves.

 

I would take this one step further. We don't have a massively popular international website with hundreds of new sign ups every day that promotes and glamorizes embezzling. 50% of businesses don't fail with embezzling being one of the leading causes. Yet if you report an embezzler, nobody is going to fault you or tell you to mind your own business.

 

We do have all that with cheating. Ashley Madison. Great website, check it out. Infidelity is a leading cause of the 50% divorce rate. Report a cheater?? how dare you? mind your own business you must be a bitter, hysterical old lady. go get some therapy.

 

Maybe someone should speak up and do something about this mess.

[Trimmer]

I would take this one step further. We don't have a massively popular international website with hundreds of new sign ups every day that promotes and glamorizes embezzling. 50% of businesses don't fail with embezzling being one of the leading causes.

I think it's clear from the context, but I think you meant to say either "50% of businesses fail with embezzling being one of the leading causes." or "50% of businesses don't succeed with embezzling being one of the leading causes."

[Betterthanthis13]

I think it's clear from the context, but I think you meant to say either "50% of businesses fail with embezzling being one of the leading causes." or "50% of businesses don't succeed with embezzling being one of the leading causes."

 

You got me again. I nominate you for organizing my thoughts into readable sentences that make sense before I hit "submit post". Good luck with that buddy.

 

Or, I could proofread. And edit. I'll give that a try for a bit and see how it goes.