FWB relationship with a MM :long:

[GlitterTits]

I guess it's time to post about what's happening in my love life.

 

Four months ago I broke up with a long term relationship of 8 years. Feeling down I opened up and told my co-worker and his mother about it. His mother works at the same place too.

 

Before this my co-worker and I were aquaintences, just saying hello when passing in the building. I must have looked like I was upset because a few days after breaking up with my ex, the MM let's call Scott asked if I was ok.

 

He said if I ever felt like coming over to his place just to chat or hang out he was there. I took him up on the offer.

 

I knew Scott was a single dad, he had three kids each has a disabilty. He told me he left the mother after finding out she cheated on him. Taking the kids with him.

 

His mother even told me other stories. Scott was seperated for 2 years. His spouse lives three hours away.

 

During the early days Scott would refer to his wife as his former partner. I thought that was cool as I never married even though I was in an 8 year relationship.

 

Two weeks later I texted him asking if he was interested in hooking up as a Friends with Benefits arrangment. I was stressed, I was horny and I needed relief.

 

He agreed and we started to hang out, even hung out around his kids alot.

 

When we did have sex three weeks after we started talking, he said "NO KISSING" and I thought fair enough, I just wanted sex.

 

However as time went on, we went out to the local bar and got drunk. We ended up having sex in a public toilet in town. I know not classy. During that time he actually kissed me. I was like Wow why is he doing it now.

 

He has only kissed me when we have gone out drinking.

 

Things seemed going great until his mother said "Oh Scott's sister-in-law is a wonderful person a complete opposite to his wife. His wife is completely bonkers."

 

I was thinking "OH Great, not only am I having sex with a single dad but a married one at that." It felt strange knowing this. I have only ever been with two other people prior to Scott so was unsure.

 

When I saw Scott, I didn't bring it up that I knew. However in his own time he told me.

 

We still hang out alot and yeah I do play with his kids. I am unsure where this is going to head. Mainly because I have introduced him to my family as my friend Scott.

 

My mother thinks there is something going on between us, and said that she thinks Scott has some sort of feelings for me. She even caught him checking me out on different occassions.

 

I told her no we are just friends.

 

What is making me post this, well the other day Scott was really frisky actually more frisky then normal. Normally I iniate sex because he wants me to do it, he doesn't want to feel like he is forcing himself onto me.

 

So it took me by utter surprise that Scott was actually touching me, and caressing me most of the afternoon and we had a full on session that night when the kids were asleep.

 

He told me when I was about to leave that his wife Olivia called to wish him a happy anniversary. Saying "Happy anniversary Ex-Husband". I was like uh ok. That's cute and funny, however it is obvious the wife is still thinking of him.

 

The next day we hung out but it was more like hanging out with a friend. We watched a movie, he didn't make a move and I didn't want to attempt.

 

Um what else well he did say he wants to divorce her but she will not sign the papers.

 

So yeah I think I am crushing on him too, yet I need to think what do I want from the FWB relationship.

 

There is various times he said he would like to still be friends with me, if I don't want to have sex anymore with him. Or When I do find someone else he would still like to be FWBs.

 

I am so confused. Need to get it out in the world. I was going to post in Friends and Lovers, however since he is married that just kind of complicates things.

 

PS I also know that his mother knows that there is something going on between Scott and I but she hasn't said anything. When I go to her house Scott is over there too.

[TaraMaiden]

You call it FWB.

Others would call you an OW.

 

Lovely long story - but really, it tells us nothing other than you're having casual sex with a man who's separated, and who is (apparently) in the throes of seeking divorce.

 

What is it exactly you're asking?

[GlitterTits]

His mother knows me, his kids know me and even his brother knows of me.

 

Yeah I guess I am the OW though MM and I still say FWB. Because he has been separated for almost 2 years. He has told me firmly that he would never get back with his wife.

 

My question is: Now that I have told you my story...should I give myself distance from him. Until feelings are sorted out?

 

I admit I have spent way to much over time at his house in the last week. I know I am starting to feel a crush developing from my end. I feel like I am reading into his actions and words.

 

The other day I joked my niece had a crush on him. Because she spent most of her holiday with MM, his kids and I. She thought he was fantastic.

 

I said "Looks like you have a little girlfriend who has taken a shine to you."

 

He replied "That is sweet, I have three pretty girlfriends...uh I mean four pretty girlfriends." (He was refering to his two daughters and my niece at first)

 

He has asked if I wanted to go to Sydney on a business trip to help him and to stay for two nights.

 

Last week he asked if I wanted to come with him and his kids to pick up his mother from the airport as a surprise.

 

So OTHER LOVERS out there, how do I handle the state of confusion I am in? He seems to flirt with me, tease me and yes **** me and yet there is times when it just feels like a friend situation. As I said the only time he has kissed me was when we both have had alcohol.

 

Though the other day when he was sober he actually startled to nuzzle and kiss my neck. Which caught me off guard. He hasn't done it since.

 

Do you think it is best to keep a bit of distance just for a few days? I want to sort my own feelings out for sure. After a messy break up with my former relationship months ago and now this.

 

Maybe I fall head over heels to quickly.

[TaraMaiden]

I know it's a bit rad, bit 'off-the-wall', bit 'out there'.... But...

 

have you actually tried discussing this with him in person?

 

There's an awful lot to be said for F2F communication, you know.

[LilGirlandOW]

Let's not call him Scott lets call him MM,

 

Wow sister OW,

 

You cant touch his mouth, but his penis is ok?!?! Whats with that?!?! You cant touch his mouth, but you can meet and spend time with his children!!!

 

I am the OW, that is insane

[LilGirlandOW]

I've had VERY few intimate partners, including men/women I've kissed. Also I've never had a FWB type relationship as MM and I were friends, developed feelings, and so on, I have no idea how a home run happens without rounding first base?!

 

Is this a typical FWB deal?

[LilGirlandOW]

I'm still looking for answers here, is this a typical FWB deal?