In bizzaro world (this forum) women dont ask about a guys sexual history?

[kaylan]

A lot of women on this forum try and make it seem like girls dont care as much about a guys sexual history, as we do about theirs. However there is a vocal few who judge a guy rather sternly for his sexual past.

 

Based on the experiences of myself and guys I know, Id say women grill guys about their sexual past just as much. Half the time these convos have come up for me, the girl asked me something, or blurted out something about herself in order to start a conversation. So Im not understanding the viewpoint some folks have regarding thing.

 

Both men and women are concerned about it, and thats their right and I wont shame them for it. I wont call them prude, or slutty, or insecure, or whatever else. People want what they want in a mate, and usually want someone similar to themselves. No matter what anyone ever says, the past matters because it makes you who you are today.

 

If I had been with only 2 or 3 women, or if I had been with 35 women, I wouldnt be ashamed of it. Full disclosure doesnt bother me. Im an open book, and let women choose how to proceed in their dating life with the truth. I do this because I expect the same. No lame lies of omission or subject changes. People need to feel comfy in who they decide to build a partnership with.

 

Has kaylan been around the block? Maybe half way around. Hes not too shy, but not too risky either. Hes had his fun within reason. Though he has an average sexual past, a few women may think hes done unsavory things, while others may think hes had a vanilla past in comparison to theirs. Despite his ability to do the hook up thing, hes still able to do the love thing and make a chick feel pretty damn good.

 

All this said, I repeat by saying people like what they like, and I wont shame them for it, or lie about myself to keep them from making a fully informed decision. Id want a girl to accept me fully for who I am, and Id do the same of her.

 

This all being said, guys whats your experience with the sexual history conversation? How often do chicks themselves bring it up?

[Divasu]

No. Most women don't go around

[kaylan]

^ I didnt know that you dated women. So how can you speak for most women? My experiences contradict your opinion. Does that bother you?

[Southern Cal Dude]

Can't say I know too many who prick and prod. But if there's anything shady, it'll leak out at some point. It always does. Whether the person is an idiot and mentions it, or it comes from a third party.

[Divasu]

^ I didnt know that you dated women. So how can you speak for most women? My experiences contradict your opinion. Does that bother you?

 

Well, I am a woman. So,.....

[kaylan]

Well, I am a woman. So,.....

1 woman.

 

And I, and many other guys, have dated a lot more than 1 woman. When you start dating women, you will know what they ask men during the whole dating thing-a-ma-jig. Ive been told by several girls that they use a guys number as a indicator of whether they think he can be faithful and stick around.

 

Lol, some girls on this forum even say that. Are you really trying to act like women never get bothered by a guys sexual history and that Im imagining things?

Edited July 6, 2013 by kaylan

[veggirl]

Was 20 the last time I asked a guy his sexual number or for any details about his sexual past. Haven't been asked myself since about that age either.

[Drseussgrrl]

I've lost count of mine. So I just say I don't know. Then we go out for ice cream.

[MrCastle]

Was 20 the last time I asked a guy his sexual number or for any details about his sexual past. Haven't been asked myself since about that age either.

 

I was gonna say, this was a bigger deal when girls were younger.

 

I can't realistically picture a 25 year old woman asking for my number.

 

I think most of them are more curious about my relationship history and not my sexual history.

 

I thought that me being honest about never really having a girlfriend would turn women off, but when I explain to them why it's been like that, they understand and actually give me credit for not trying to force myself into a relationship just because most people my age have had long term relationships before.

[tbf]

Yes, male numbers matter to me since it tells me how he perceives sex, whether sport, an extension of intimacy or both.

[Phoe]

I personally don't ask for a number, I'd rather not know. All I want to know is whether he has ever had sex before or not.

[MrCastle]

I will say to everyone, quantity over quality. No matter what your number is.

 

Some people have slept with others that they probably ended up regretting later.

 

One girl made a thread about some guy who kept annoying her at a bar and wouldn't leave her or her friends alone. She ended up banging him that night and again the next morning. Then complained he called her too much after that. I swear she slept with him just to get him to shut up. She'd never admit that but I can't see how you go from "ugh this creep needs to leave us alone!" to "eh I'll sleep with him tonight and tomorrow."

 

That's just one man under her belt, but would more than likely turn me off to her if I knew that about her as a man looking to date her.

 

And you hear countless stories of both men and women sleeping with people they admit they weren't attracted to or whatever which, I don't know what the f*ck THAT is, but it's probably not a good idea. There are undertones of low self esteem and insecurity all over that sh*t.

 

Whereas someone who is single and an all around decent person, can sleep with 3-4 different people a year, for as many years as they're single. So if you're single for 5 years, and you've tallied 20 or a little over, maybe to some that's a lot, but within context, 3-4 in one year doesn't seem like a lot.

[StayBeautiful]

I don't need to ask. For some odd reason, they usually volunteer that information all by themselves.

 

While I sit there blinking, wondering if I'm supposed to be impressed.

[kaylan]

I will say to everyone, quantity over quality. No matter what your number is.

 

Some people have slept with others that they probably ended up regretting later.

 

One girl made a thread about some guy who kept annoying her at a bar and wouldn't leave her or her friends alone. She ended up banging him that night and again the next morning. Then complained he called her too much after that. I swear she slept with him just to get him to shut up. She'd never admit that but I can't see how you go from "ugh this creep needs to leave us alone!" to "eh I'll sleep with him tonight and tomorrow."

 

That's just one man under her belt, but would more than likely turn me off to her if I knew that about her as a man looking to date her.

 

And you hear countless stories of both men and women sleeping with people they admit they weren't attracted to or whatever which, I don't know what the f*ck THAT is, but it's probably not a good idea. There are undertones of low self esteem and insecurity all over that sh*t.

 

Whereas someone who is single and an all around decent person, can sleep with 3-4 different people a year, for as many years as they're single. So if you're single for 5 years, and you've tallied 20 or a little over, maybe to some that's a lot, but within context, 3-4 in one year doesn't seem like a lot.

For those who are relationship minded, screwing a new person every few months and not holding down a relationship, will seem like a red flag. It would seem so to me. I dont mind flings while one is single, as Ive had them myself....but it seems odd if a girl is single for 5 years and spends the whole time banging a new guy ever few months.

 

Id wonder about her ability to commit, or if something was off with her that kept guys from committing.

[KungFuJoe]

I stand by my statement that caring about someone's past is most likely linked to insecurity.

 

I've had only two girls I've ever known have any "issues" and both were very insecure.

[pcplod]

I don't need to ask. For some odd reason, they usually volunteer that information all by themselves.

 

While I sit there blinking, wondering if I'm supposed to be impressed.

 

When they do that I can only assume that they have temporarily (or maybe not so temporarily) feigned a check-out from reality and think they are talking to a bloke-mate.

 

Seems difficult to fathom otherwise, apart from the possibility that they are just sheer dickheads.

[iris219]

I've said before on here that I haven't asked or been asked how many people I've slept with since I was in high school. We only talked about it then because I was a virgin at the time.

 

I would be shocked and annoyed if a man asked me my number or offered to tell me his. I simply don't care to know.

 

The only important inquiry about someone's sexual history is whether they've been tested for STD's.

[pcplod]

For those who are relationship minded, screwing a new person every few months and not holding down a relationship, will seem like a red flag. It would seem so to me. I dont mind flings while one is single, as Ive had them myself....but it seems odd if a girl is single for 5 years and spends the whole time banging a new guy ever few months.

 

Id wonder about her ability to commit, or if something was off with her that kept guys from committing.

 

Why does she have to commit? Five years is nothing. It doesn't mean that she won't can't or isn't entitled to change her mindset further down the road. I think what scares all too many men is the notion that their prospective partner might be into good quality, varied sex more than them and they can't see any prospect of them ever being able to deliver.

[iris219]

For those who are relationship minded, screwing a new person every few months and not holding down a relationship, will seem like a red flag. It would seem so to me. I dont mind flings while one is single, as Ive had them myself....but it seems odd if a girl is single for 5 years and spends the whole time banging a new guy ever few months.

 

Id wonder about her ability to commit, or if something was off with her that kept guys from committing.

 

So for the five years that she is single she needs to be celibate for most of that time? Why is that?

[kaylan]

Why does she have to commit? Five years is nothing. It doesn't mean that she won't can't or isn't entitled to change her mindset further down the road. I think what scares all too many men is the notion that their prospective partner might be into good quality, varied sex more than them and they can't see any prospect of them ever being able to deliver.

Um...she doesnt have to commit, but for most people, dating leads to a relationship. And read my post again, I said for RELATIONSHIP MINDED PEOPLE, being single for so long will be an issue. Yes people change mindsets, but there will be a good reason why someone is single for 5 years...and itll be a reason a that people looking for a relationship will care about.

 

And no...men arent scared about being able to deliver anything.

 

Men want to feel sexy, and they dont want overly used goods. Thats the reality. Same goes for some women as well. Sleeping around grosses some people out, and I can understand that.

So for the five years that she is single she needs to be celibate for most of that time? Why is that?

No she doesnt, but the fact that shes never found anyone worth spending more than 3 months with says a lot.

[Phoe]

Um...she doesnt have to commit, but for most people, dating leads to a relationship. And read my post again, I said for RELATIONSHIP MINDED PEOPLE, being single for so long will be an issue. Yes people change mindsets, but there will be a good reason why someone is single for 5 years...and itll be a reason a that people looking for a relationship will care about.

 

This mindset in itself is slightly problematic. A girl being single for 5 years doesn't automatically mean she isn't able to commit, doesn't mean there's something "wrong" with her, doesn't mean she's running around rampantly f*cking a handful of guys every year.

[kaylan]

Also, I just mentioned in another thread how different male and female responses are depending on the main person in a subject. People will generally see things from their genders perspective.

 

Lord knows women dont usually come running and questioning the other ladies in here when they show a distaste for guys who spend years screwing new women.

This mindset in itself is slightly problematic. A girl being single for 5 years doesn't automatically mean she isn't able to commit, doesn't mean there's something "wrong" with her, doesn't mean she's running around rampantly f*cking a handful of guys every year.

Wow...did you read the post I was responding to. I didnt make the assertion that single women sleep with a new guy every few months. Someone else brought up that hypothetical situation of a woman whos single for 5 years and then does that.

 

Jeez people. Read the thread before jumping to conclusions.

[CptSaveAho]

 

Men want to feel sexy, and they dont want overly used goods. Thats the reality. Same goes for some women as well. Sleeping around grosses some people out,

 

the men I know don't seek validation from others to feel sexy....this is a woman point of view

 

Are you ashamed you were born with male genitalia?

[iris219]

No she doesnt, but the fact that shes never found anyone worth spending more than 3 months with says a lot.

 

Umm, what does it say?

 

I was single for 5 years. I didn't meet anyone spending more than a few dates dates with. Why was that my fault?

 

I'm very commitment minded, btw. I've only had LTR relationships. That's why I was single for five years. I was waiting on someone I could see spending my life with.

[StayBeautiful]

Sleeping around grosses some people out, and I can understand that.

 

Actually, you'd be surprised how many guys DON'T think this should be an issue for women. I've had dates sit there and talk about their wild pasts, the women they've had, the dozens of one night stands.... wondering why I don't want anything to do with them.

 

I think it's a shock to many of them that there are some women who are put right off by "easy" guys.