In bizzaro world (this forum) women dont ask about a guys sexual history?

[Star Gazer]

I've never in my life asked about a man's sexual history.

[samsungxoxo]

Actually, you'd be surprised how many guys DON'T think this should be an issue for women. I've had dates sit there and talk about their wild pasts, the women they've had, the dozens of one night stands.... wondering why I don't want anything to do with them.

 

I think it's a shock to many of them that there are some women who are put right off by "easy" guys.

I'm willing to bet they wouldn't accept if the woman they're dating also had a wild past and are still expecting a low-count or virtuous woman as if they really deserve her in the first place.

They are the ones going with the ''Come on, everyone deserves a chance, the past is past'' but when the woman does the same it changes to ''No, you can't turn a promiscuous woman into a housewife, no way''.

[Star Gazer]

I've never in my life asked about a man's sexual history.

 

I should add to this:

 

If a man and his group of friends are being "grilled" by most women they meet about their sexual history, they're obviously presenting themselves to not be, um, so picky with the women they sleep with.

 

Perhaps it's the men I choose the sleep with, but I've never been under the perception that they were a man-whore such that I needed to be concerned enough to ask.

[SJC2008]

I stand by my statement that caring about someone's past is most likely linked to insecurity.

 

I've had only two girls I've ever known have any "issues" and both were very insecure.

 

Umm no. If you blew half the football team after practice or are stopping by your FWB's place after our date you're certainly not my type.

[SJC2008]

On the other end of the spectrum does a woman have the right to judge me or weird out on me becuase I'm 31 and have had sex twice in my life? No I didn't say I've been with two women and was with them for a while. I had sex 2 times in my entire life. Less than most of you all in a weekend. So is "The past in the past"?

[miss_jaclynrae]

Umm no. If you blew half the football team after practice or are stopping by your FWB's place after our date you're certainly not my type.

 

 

 

 

 

Someone is still trying to get over the fact that they didn't make the team....

How would you KNOW they blew the football team? How would you know thy are going over to a FWB after your date?

 

 

 

 

 

 

What a silly situation I begin with.

[samsungxoxo]

On the other end of the spectrum does a woman have the right to judge me or weird out on me becuase I'm 31 and have had sex twice in my life? No I didn't say I've been with two women and was with them for a while. I had sex 2 times in my entire life. Less than most of you all in a weekend. So is "The past in the past"?

Nope, I think is good you kept it low. The lower the count is the better.

[StayBeautiful]

I'm willing to bet they wouldn't accept if the woman they're dating also had a wild past and are still expecting a low-count or virtuous woman as if they really deserve her in the first place.

They are the ones going with the ''Come on, everyone deserves a chance, the past is past'' but when the woman does the same it changes to ''No, you can't turn a promiscuous woman into a housewife, no way''.

 

The last guy to laughingly tell me about all the one night stands he had after his divorce also said that he considered women sluts if they slept with him on the first date - but that he wouldn't see them again whether or not they slept with him because he was only after sex. He'd maybe go to two dates if she'd held out and was hot enough, but once she gave it up....he was off.

 

He was very much of the opinion that a lot of women were too easy, but challenge him about the same behaviour and it's all "hey I'm a guy, that's what we do"

[SJC2008]

BTW I didn't see this thread Kaylan, don't know how I missed it. I wasn't trying to jack your thread with mine.

[SJC2008]

Someone is still trying to get over the fact that they didn't make the team....

How would you KNOW they blew the football team? How would you know thy are going over to a FWB after your date?

 

 

 

 

 

 

What a silly situation I begin with.

 

Lol that's pretty good. I'm not a virgin, so I guess I cold say I made the team. I just didn't make Varsity!

[Woggle]

Says a lot about what? holy crap you are judgmental! Haven't you been single for a long time yourself? Why do you feel the need to pick on stupid stuff to judge people? I bet that you wouldn't like it done to yourself. And here I thought last thing kaylan would be is hypocritical.

 

And why all these history and numbers thread? You're getting older not younger....these are stuff early twenties kids just love to talk about!

 

Who isn't judgmental? Everybody judges when looking for a partner. You do and I do and so does everybody.

[samsungxoxo]

The last guy to laughingly tell me about all the one night stands he had after his divorce also said that he considered women sluts if they slept with him on the first date - but that he wouldn't see them again whether or not they slept with him because he was only after sex. He'd maybe go to two dates if she'd held out and was hot enough, but once she gave it up....he was off.

 

He was very much of the opinion that a lot of women were too easy, but challenge him about the same behaviour and it's all "hey I'm a guy, that's what we do"

LMAO and hopefully you ditched him on the spot. You know, I have bad news for those types and I predict this will happen to him:

He will get to meet his ''dream woman'' and though she won't sleep with him on the 1st date nor 3rd, she will make him fall for him since she'll make him wait. In his mind he'll be thinking ''Yes, I found her...finally a woman that doesn't sleep around'' and possibly even develop a relationship or even marry her. Little does he know that the so called ''wholesome woman'' isn't really who he think she is. She has had a wild past too but knows how to keep a low profile and never reveals it.

Even if he does finds out, too bad he already invested time with her LOL.

 

I don't know but I've heard this happens a lot. The more you ask for something you're not, the more you'll get what you are.

Edited July 7, 2013 by samsungxoxo

[Woggle]

I don't have double standards. I very much advise women to not go for players or more importantly not go for men who give them scraps while the ex got the world.

[mesmerized]

I absolutely do not want to know about your sexual past in any way, shape or form if you have a clean, recent STD panel.

 

I can't imagine a way I would presently have a desire to even try to work this into a conversation. I mean, "So, what do you do? Oh, you're an engineer, that's cool. How many girls have you f*ked? I see. Do you like to travel?..." I just...don't...care. And frankly I'm really not sure what the current obsession with this subject a certain segment of the LS population is about.

 

Oh, and I also don't ask about the details of past relationships or discuss my own unless I feel it is extremely relevant to whatever conversation which is quite rare.

 

For real, only immature women/men ask for numbers. I can't even imagine how a mature secure woman would work that into a conversation.

 

Kaylan, who are you dating??? Raise your standards, and don't base your standards on numbers.

[SJC2008]

For real, only immature women/men ask for numbers. I can't even imagine how a mature secure woman would work that into a conversation.

 

Kaylan, who are you dating??? Raise your standards, and don't base your standards on numbers.

 

This response is in the context of an LTR/ dating for marrige.

 

It's not about exact numbers or specifics of doing xyz with so and so. It's called intimacy, it almost doesn't exist in todays world and is why so many relationships and marriages fail. People hide there true selves and we're shocked to find out who we're with years later. Emotional intimacy means getting to know someone inside and out, good and bad. You have to bring your flaws to the table and things that you're not proud of. This doesn't mean you have to give every waking detail of your life, which is why I don't want or need exact numbers. I just want to know if I'm dating a woman who views sex in a similar fashion to me. If she had a sewing oat period after an LTR and a couple/few ONS's I'd be 100% ok with it, just TELL me. Don't hide it from me. Don't pretend to be some pristine creature becuae you're ashamed of being judged. Just as long as you are honest and weren't some bar room foozie I'm cool.

[ThanhL]

LMAO and hopefully you ditched him on the spot. You know, I have bad news for those types and I predict this will happen to him:

He will get to meet his ''dream woman'' and though she won't sleep with him on the 1st date nor 3rd, she will make him fall for him since she'll make him wait. In his mind he'll be thinking ''Yes, I found her...finally a woman that doesn't sleep around'' and possibly even develop a relationship or even marry her. Little does he know that the so called ''wholesome woman'' isn't really who he think she is. She has had a wild past too but knows how to keep a low profile and never reveals it.

Even if he does finds out, too bad he already invested time with her LOL.

 

I don't know but I've heard this happens a lot. The more you ask for something you're not, the more you'll get what you are.

 

Or "One often gets what one disdains"

[bluegreen]

My number will hear priest, doctor, God already knows and husband one day I get him anyone else gets no answer whatsoever.

As for guy only reason I would ask is if I have some legitimate concern like health reasons but honestly guys were always ones that slipped things up before I even asked.

 

 

I like your name

[paigej91]

I can't say I ask about it until I'm actually into a relationship.

 

It's something I've avoided talking about too early myself, so I don't want to ask him until I'm ready to talk about it as well.

[silvermercy]

Glad someone made this topic! Because the idea here is that usually only men care about numbers and that women are actually okay with it and can accept all the men-whores who slept with tens of women in the past. I'm female and sorry but cannot accept such risky behavior. Sure there are always exceptions, but pure logic states I cannot trust such a high-risk person for an LTR. There are so many negative traits associated with someone that sleeps with people without discrimination, I'd probably need a full page to list them all.

 

Usually, it's only people with high numbers who don't really care about their partner's number. People who are alarmed by high numbers have every right to have some standards without being called "judgmental". I actually laugh when we're being called "judgmental"! LOL As if we have no right to decide what makes a suitable LTR partner for us.

[pcplod]

Glad someone made this topic! Because the idea here is that usually only men care about numbers and that women are actually okay with it and can accept all the men-whores who slept with tens of women in the past. I'm female and sorry but cannot accept such risky behavior. Sure there are always exceptions, but pure logic states I cannot trust such a high-risk person for an LTR. There are so many negative traits associated with someone that sleeps with people without discrimination, I'd probably need a full page to list them all.

 

Usually, it's only people with high numbers who don't really care about their partner's number. People who are alarmed by high numbers have every right to have some standards without being called "judgmental". I actually laugh when we're being called "judgmental"! LOL As if we have no right to decide what makes a suitable LTR partner for us.

 

You can be as judgemental as you like. I assume you live in a country that provides you with at least the superficiality of free speech. The only trouble is that the same right gives others the right to label you judgemental. And give you a wide berth. So, judge away. Let he without sin cast the first stone.

[silvermercy]

You can be as judgemental as you like. I assume you live in a country that provides you with at least the superficiality of free speech. The only trouble is that the same right gives others the right to label you judgemental. And give you a wide berth. So, judge away. Let he without sin cast the first stone.

Great then. My right and freedom not want to date and sleep with high-risk, full of negative-traits man-whores. God forbid we follow some real logic and sense in life. Then we're all judged to be judgmental! I mean... the irony on this... lol

Go ahead and call us like that. You're still the high-risk people when it comes to LTRs. Not us running away from facts.

Edited July 7, 2013 by silvermercy

[Arabella]

Not only do I ask about a man's sexual past, but it's also one of the main criteria by which I choose my partner. I generally bring this up after I've gotten to know him and I can put the answer into context, but well before I form any emotional attachment.

 

I don't want a man who sleeps around. I've tried very hard to keep my numbers to single digits and only have sex with men I was in a relationship with. I expect the same from my partner.

 

To me, it's not even about how many people he's had sex with. I'm not that worried about that. If a man is 30 years old and told me he's had sex with, say, 10 women, and all of them were his girlfriend at one point or another... totally fine. However, if he told me he'd had 5 sexual partners and 4 were one night stands or FWB... I won't even consider him.

 

Like others have said, the ratio of casual vs serious sex that a man has had is a pretty good representation of how they perceive sex and relationships. I'm not religious and I still feel pretty strongly about this.

 

For those who say believing this is immature and will attack my comments.... Everyone has the right to choose their partners on whatever criteria they deem acceptable. Mine is not any better or worse than yours.

[Babolat]

My last gf, while out drinking one night, volunteered her "count". I can't recall why, I think she was trying to establish she was a good girl. Months later I mentioned she told me this, she had no memory, as she was drunk. When she asked what she told me I made up a huge number to get a laugh.

 

I still question to this day why she volunteered this to me.

[Mrlonelyone]

Ok here's the $64,000 question.

 

 

If the guy is bisexual that is, his sexual history includes a healthy number of men and women, he has a clean recent STD panel, would you want to know that? Would you ladies who say only a husband should know that be comfortable finding that out about your man after you were married?

[Woggle]

Good for the two women who don't want players as relationship partners. I don't even care about a woman's sexual past myself. I just take it as a red flag when there is too much overlap when it comes to the past guy and her dating me but she expects me to just be happy with crumbs when the other guy got it all.