Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 See, that's exactly why I don't date women . Not all women are like that. I don't mind some hints, especially if they're well intentioned or positive. It's when it becomes an all-time part of her ability to communicate that it becomes draining. Seriously, would rather a woman be honest and straight up with what she wants the majority of the time. It's all about timing and tact as well. I throw out hints, but not under dire circumstances. For instance, I don't throw out hints when a relationship is on the rocks and then wonder, "Gee, well she must not have liked me. I hinted at her and she just didn't care." ^---That **** is the worst anyone can do in a relationship. A hint like, "Yeah, those roses are really beautiful. It would be nice to have some some day." ^---CLEARLY someone wants some roses. See the distinction? Hahah. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Not all women are like that. I don't mind some hints, especially if they're well intentioned or positive. It's when it becomes an all-time part of her ability to communicate that it becomes draining. Seriously, would rather a woman be honest and straight up with what she wants the majority of the time. It's all about timing and tact as well. I throw out hints, but not under dire circumstances. For instance, I don't throw out hints when a relationship is on the rocks and then wonder, "Gee, well she must not have liked me. I hinted at her and she just didn't care." ^---That **** is the worst anyone can do in a relationship. A hint like, "Yeah, those roses are really beautiful. It would be nice to have some some day." ^---CLEARLY someone wants some roses. See the distinction? Hahah. Yes I do, maybe my sense of humor doesn't play well in black and white. I used to make those hints, when younger, now I simply tell the guy my favorite flower, purps, and get pissed off if it's not stinking up my house shortly after . Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Yes I do, maybe my sense of humor doesn't play well in black and white. I used to make those hints, when younger, now I simply tell the guy my favorite flower, purps, and get pissed off if it's not stinking up my house shortly after . Oh no, I got that you were joking. I was just being serious at the same time. The last person I was interested in, was having a rough time in life so I found out what her favorite colors were and had them sent to her in flower form. She told me, "Oh well I didn't get them. Just get a refund. Honestly, I don't even like flowers." That was pretty brutal. This was after she was up my ass interested in me and had me spend the night. We didn't have sex. I actually told her I wanted to wait a couple more times and get to know her better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
athousandquestions Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 As a woman, it is more common for men to approach me and ask me out/to dance/if I want a drink/if I want to sleep with them/etc than it is for a woman to ask a MAN one of those things. So as a man who is dumped, if you wanted to have 100 women actively chasing you you would have to ACTIVELY SEEK those women. You'd have to flirt, woo, and so forth multiple girls. When dumped, most guys take a hit to their ego and aren't willing to approach women so freely. They also tend to forget what flirting/'courting' is actually like and are under the impression that somewhere there are a ton of women just waiting to be taken home. Whereas girls, when dumped, also take an ego hit but are then hit ON by various guys, because that's the way our society works. Girls get hit on, guys do the.. hitting on. (in most cases.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 As a woman, it is more common for men to approach me and ask me out/to dance/if I want a drink/if I want to sleep with them/etc than it is for a woman to ask a MAN one of those things. So as a man who is dumped, if you wanted to have 100 women actively chasing you you would have to ACTIVELY SEEK those women. You'd have to flirt, woo, and so forth multiple girls. When dumped, most guys take a hit to their ego and aren't willing to approach women so freely. They also tend to forget what flirting/'courting' is actually like and are under the impression that somewhere there are a ton of women just waiting to be taken home. Whereas girls, when dumped, also take an ego hit but are then hit ON by various guys, because that's the way our society works. Girls get hit on, guys do the.. hitting on. (in most cases.) Pretty much. It's not that uncommon for me to get hit on by both women and men. Unfortunately, I am not gay and I need more than a sweet smile to get my attention. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Pretty much. It's not that uncommon for me to get hit on by both women and men. Unfortunately, I am not gay and I need more than a sweet smile to get my attention. Drats ...... Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Drats ...... I'm sure you have more than just a sweet smile going on. You seem fairly smart so far. Link to post Share on other sites
athousandquestions Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Pretty much. It's not that uncommon for me to get hit on by both women and men. Unfortunately, I am not gay and I need more than a sweet smile to get my attention. Yeah don't get me wrong, I do hit on my fair share of guys. But I still get hit on a lot more than I do the hitting on I'm sure that's true for most girls! Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 How funny it is that when girl breaks up and turns single, there are several guys hitting on her but when a guy breaks up there is nobody trying to be friends also with him. The girl moves on even though having been in love with the guy and crazy about him and now all the love disappears while the guy is still holding on to that love and the girl. How can girls just move on so soon, after having loved or be crazy about some one ? Must be nice... After my ex dumped me for another girl, guys did start hitting on me. But guess what? It was because they wanted SEX not a meaningful relationship. Anyone with a vjayjay has someone chasing her, it doesn't mean its the kind of attention she wants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maverick1983 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Are we not just genetically programmed to be this way.We are still very primitive in many ways.God knows enough people act like our closest relatives.When I was single I never had a problem finding women even after I broke up with my ex and was a slight mess.Whatever happened to just chatting to a woman and if she's interested chat some more and if not at least you tried and move on.The reason a woman gets more attention then a guy does is all down to us men's genetic need to be predators.More often then not a woman probably gets turned off by someone that is too enthusiastic which is why it's always better to just be casual about the whole thing.Fellas always give out about how snobby women can be but I can't imagine have douchebags beating their chests to get their attention is all that enjoyable all the time either The reason the op is having this problem is because she clearly doesn't feel upset by the break up while he does and low self esteem really comes across in a person when they are trying to meet someone new. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pisces13 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 The girl moves on even though having been in love with the guy and crazy about him and now all the love disappears while the guy is still holding on to that love and the girl. How can girls just move on so soon, after having loved or be crazy about some one ? If you have no confidence and sit around at home wallowing in self pity, then yes, you're right. Link to post Share on other sites
L1ght Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 (edited) This issue is more about an individuals mentality and what they have or haven't learnt from previous experiences. I guess in my late teens I used to think that women had the capacity to get over things quicker than men but that was until I learnt the value of having other options available to me if a relationship doesn't work out. It's definitely true that average looking women get hit on and get given attention way more than average looking men do and this inevitably leads to higher confidence levels and more options to turn to if things don't work out with their partner. My advice to you is to make sure you have a few options when you begin a relationship with someone just in case things don't end well because then at least you will be able to get the validation that you are not worthless and that you are still romantically viable to other women. (NOTE. This is not a definitive way to get over your ex because that generally takes a lot of self assessment and personal progression but its definitely a short term confidence boost for people who want to get out of a psychological rut and want to start feeling lovable again) Edited July 7, 2013 by L1ght Link to post Share on other sites
Pisces13 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Women are really good at hiding the fact they might be interested in you as well. I just found out last night that this girl I used to work with who I always thought was one of the hottest girls I've ever come across apparently had a MASSIVE thing for me when we worked together, so much so that she wanted to cheat on her boyfriend with me, and she apparently pleasured herself to the image of me as well lol. But I never would've picked any of that in a million years, I'm still shocked after my friend told me lol (he is gay and really close friends with the girl). My point is, you might think girls have it a lot easier than guys, but really it all comes down to just being confident and not being afraid to approach them to find out. You might think they would never be interested in you or whatever, but don't count yourself out until you give it a shot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lissa90 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Haha this thread makes me think of skinny chicks who bang on about how fat they are. Link to post Share on other sites
sentra79 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Anyone with a vjayjay has someone chasing her, it doesn't mean its the kind of attention she wants. You'd be surprised how many women don't realize that... Link to post Share on other sites
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