chloeroseeee Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Hi, I am an 18 year old girl, and have known this guy since we were 4 years old. When we were younger we had 'childhood relationships' which consisted of playing together on the playground etc. we've never had anything serious. All through secondary school, he liked me, but I never liked him back, which made things kind of awkward between us. About 18 months ago we drifted apart, and I thought about him almost every day, wondering how he was and what he was up to. it seemed he had fallen into the "wrong crowd". About 3 months ago he got in touch with me, he has really got his life on track, and now we're even closer than we ever have been before.We are constantly texting and we see each other every day, he always makes me smile and I love spending time with him. I can just be myself around him, and he is himself around me too. He says how much he values our friendship all the time, and I do too. However, he is always on my mind, and I've realized from having missed him over those 18 months, that I really love him, or at least I think I do. I'd just like to know if a friendship can become a relationship? I don't know if I should tell him or if that would just ruin our friendship. I couldn't bare to lose him, please help!!!! PS, when I say he's my best friend I mean we spend all of our time together and we know everything about each other. Things are just so easy with us, like conversations flow and we are interested in the same things. Link to post Share on other sites
sdraw108 Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 (edited) I think the important question here is, do you want to risk ruining a 14 year old close friendship (assuming you are strong enough to be able to put your other feelings to the side)? I can kind of relate to your situation, because I have an opposite-sex best friend that I've known since early childhood and I'm extremely glad it never went beyond that because we've been friends for 25+ years now and I have no doubt we will remain so for life; an extremely unlikely scenario if we'd dated. Interestingly, we had a mini "crisis" like yours at around the same age as you, although it was laid to rest very quickly and never came up again. Edited July 6, 2013 by sdraw108 Link to post Share on other sites
JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Yes, relationships are possible, but most shy away from them in circumstances like yours. The reason being is, after so many years of just being friends, a relationship changes the bond between you. This wouldn't be a problem, except for in the case that the relationship doesn't work out. Sadly, I've seen it happen like this too many times: long time friends finally date, but the relationship was either ill-timed, or the chemistry wasn't right. Once the break up occurs, some are able to be friends again-but the friendship quality greatly diminishes. Others end on horrible terms, and thus, the friendship is lost. However, there are cases where the friendship (once the initial hurt of breaking up is passed) returns to its formal luster. I would say proceed with caution. If you have mutual feelings for another, take time to think things over. If you wind up together, be sure that is what you really want. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 If you don't try, you'll never know. Just don't go professing your undying love or make things awkward. Maybe take it slow ... if it doesn't work then it would be easier to remain friends. You only live once. (AFAIK.) Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Sure it can, but you should do something active to change the relationship. Like a passionate kiss, that ought to tell you if there are feelings beyond friendship on his end. Be warned however, you'll be taking him by surprise so his initial reaction may be less than favorable. Let him simmer on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts