Sun Devil Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 I want to know exactly why are you in this situation. Are you shy? Did you ever go to a pua bootcamp or study its materials? How is your social life? Do you make friends easily? Do you ever flirt? I had asked this before but I dont think I got a good answer. I want to learn so that I am not the guy who is in his 30s with no relationship experience Link to post Share on other sites
Moe'sTavern Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 I want to know exactly why are you in this situation. Are you shy? Did you ever go to a pua bootcamp or study its materials? How is your social life? Do you make friends easily? Do you ever flirt? I had asked this before but I dont think I got a good answer. I want to learn so that I am not the guy who is in his 30s with no relationship experience pua bootcamp? is this seriously a thing?..Anyway, why don't you answer these questions first. You might find some enlightenment in your own answers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 I have friends, though I don't see them as often as I used to for a variety of reasons. I make friends fairly easily. I am shy around women I'm interested in. And I don't flirt. I'm not good at thinking on my feet when I'm nervous. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 pua bootcamp? is this seriously a thing?..Anyway' date=' why don't you answer these questions first. You might find some enlightenment in your own answers.[/quote'] Yes, those are legit boot camps. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Eww, gross Yeah it's pretty bad. I find the female PUA's to be more like able. Arden Leigh is my favorite. The only male PUA I don't find sleazy is the bald one(I think that's Mystery). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 I want to know exactly why are you in this situation. Are you shy? Maybe, but less shy than I used to be. Did you ever go to a pua bootcamp or study its materials? If you mean what I think you mean, I think it's disgusting. If you aren't being you, it's a bunch of fake BS and totally meaningless other than putting your penis in something IMO. I have hands for that. How is your social life? Awful atm. Used to have a decent circle of friends but it disintegrated. Most of my real friends have families and no time to spend. Do you make friends easily? No. Do you ever flirt? No. I had asked this before but I dont think I got a good answer. I want to learn so that I am not the guy who is in his 30s with no relationship experience I don't know how much intellectual learning will help in the end. I know a lot of things logically but just knowing it in your head is useless. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Girlfriends are overrated bro. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Technically I've never had a GF so........ Basically I was crazy awful with girls until I stopped being a pussy and just started to learn how to better interact with them. I didn't blame them for rejections nor get bitter about "jerks" or guys with better game that got relationships and sex easier. I accepted it all as it were. I didn't even blame being autistic in the end. I went to a couple seminars here in London but never went to a bootcamp. Waste of money. I downloaded gigabytes of PUA material and picked the things I found were ethical and suited me. My social life is fluctuating buit I have a large extended circle. I have also found it pretty easy to make friends but maintaining them is the bigger challenge.do I flirt? Sometimes. I'm not brilliant at it, but I'm getting better. Link to post Share on other sites
Moe'sTavern Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Well I guess I'll put in my responses. Shyness? To an extent yes. How is my social life? non-existent. Do I make friends easily? No. My track record with acquaintances isn't much better. Do I ever flirt? Yes, but rarely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sun Devil Posted July 7, 2013 Author Share Posted July 7, 2013 To those who are wondering, I do socialize alot. Making friends is easy for me. Up to around a year ago, I was shy around women. My anxiety over women has completely disappeared. The only thing I want to know is if the skills used to make friends are different than skills used to find a romantic partner. I have almost never flirted before since I dont know what to do. I have had over 100 rejections. I determined that it is eaither my height of 5 feet, or I am using skills to build friendship, but not a romantic partnership. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Hi, I'm somedude81. I've been single for the vast majority of my life. It was at the point where it was ten years since I last kissed a girl. I was very depressed and had no self-confidence at all. And now for the first time in my life, I actually have a girlfriend and I'm happy to be alive. The first thing that needs to be said is that luck plays a huge part in it. After that, they key is to try and make connections with lots of women. And then with each girl, you have to be interested in her, be funny and be bold. Do that with enough girls and fate may decide to smile on you. Once a girl likes you, the game becomes a whole lot easier. Getting positive feedback can do wonders for your confidence. After that, just push the limits. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 I'm 31. In no particular order the reasons I haven't had a relationship are: Social anxiety (almost gone), getting gutted by my first girlfriend which pushed my self esteem from 3 to -100. Physical intimacy issues, emotional unavailability and not feeling worthy of a woman (thanks mom). My social life is average. I'm not mr popular but I have friends and work buddys that I do things with. I can make guy friends pretty easy, I'm a cool dude, pretty funny! Link to post Share on other sites
Philosopher Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 To those who are wondering, I do socialize alot. Making friends is easy for me. Up to around a year ago, I was shy around women. My anxiety over women has completely disappeared. The only thing I want to know is if the skills used to make friends are different than skills used to find a romantic partner. I have almost never flirted before since I dont know what to do. I have had over 100 rejections. I determined that it is eaither my height of 5 feet, or I am using skills to build friendship, but not a romantic partnership. If you make friends easily and have almost completely lost your anxiety around women then you are already doing something right . That said I do think it is harder and requires different skills to find a romantic partner than to make friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sun Devil Posted July 7, 2013 Author Share Posted July 7, 2013 It seems as though social skills are the main reason that the guys here struggle with women Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Eww, gross Yeah, don't buy into this money making scam. Right along side triangle schemes LOL Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 My social life is fluctuating buit I have a large extended circle. I have also found it pretty easy to make friends but maintaining them is the bigger challenge.. That's because a lot of people in society expect you to adapt to their personalities as opposed to finding someone that actually gives a crap about you. I'm not sure why you're not able to maintain them, but it seems that there are a lot of "fair weather" friends that don't really value friendships or relationships. Someone on this site even said they aren' t much for romantic relationships because she simply said, "It's too much work". So they just serial date instead. Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 I want to know exactly why are you in this situation. Are you shy? Did you ever go to a pua bootcamp or study its materials? How is your social life? Do you make friends easily? Do you ever flirt? I had asked this before but I dont think I got a good answer. I want to learn so that I am not the guy who is in his 30s with no relationship experience I'm married now, but I didn't have a lot of luck with women in my 20s. I was a late bloomer, and didn't really go pursuing women til after high school. I was a doormat nice guy, was shy, lacked confidence, and kept putting women on pedestals. I didn't go by the ACTIONS of women and only paid attention to what they said. I was a little chubby, didn't dress well, and thus physically didn't come off as someone they desired. I went for flash over substance. I'd pursue the pretty girl who was young and really wanted hot looking bad boys. Meanwhile there were some not-so-good-looking women who did want me. By my early 30s, my professional life was a mess. Granted I had a few short RLs in my 20s, I did not have any real long term ones. Add to this I graduated college and went through bouts of unemployment as I struggled to get a career going. When I got into my mid-30s, it all came together. I weighed less, dressed better, had a solid career, owned a condo, was sociable and confident, was avoiding the bad-boy chasing girls I used to pursue, and was meeting women with a different mentality. These were women who were not turned on to the playas and wanted the solid "husband material" guy. This is why I tell guys to focus less on dating and focus more on themselves. Your physical appearance, attitude, personality, education, career, etc. You have to beck,e someone women want. Women do the same thing BTW. Ask yourself why they're in the gym all the time, dieting, buying stylish clothes, makeup, hair, etc...on top of education and career. They want to be someone men want as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 It seems as though social skills are the main reason that the guys here struggle with women Eh, not so much. I don't have any friends right now and I'm dating a very intelligent and attractive 20 year old woman. Are you trying to make a connection with a woman before you ask her out? Link to post Share on other sites
scubasteve Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 No I am not shy. Why would I pay 999.99 dollars on a pua boot camp? Yes I flirt and make friends easily. Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan R. Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 I want to know exactly why are you in this situation. Are you shy? Did you ever go to a pua bootcamp or study its materials? How is your social life? Do you make friends easily? Do you ever flirt? I had asked this before but I dont think I got a good answer. I want to learn so that I am not the guy who is in his 30s with no relationship experience I am in this situation because I take responsibility for my own actions. I am not an extremely forward guy when it comes to girls nor am I a very charismatic guy. I am very shy when it comes to asserting myself sexually because I feel as if a woman would be creeped out if I did that when she didn't think of me in the same way. I don't really like making women feel uncomfortable. I don't like making anyone feel uncomfortable. I make friends quite easily, I'm quite a sociable guy, I wouldn't say anyone thinks I'm a bad person to know. I don't really flirt with girls, I can't pull it off naturally. I know what flirting is, I just don't know how to do it without seeming like a creep. I studied pickup artistry for a little over a year but I didn't agree with a lot of what was said in it. So I pretty much disregarded it. A lot of my friends are into it, though. I know all in all, my situation is of my own design. I believe if I was more attractive, I wouldn't be in this situation but what's done is done, no point crying over my lack of looks, I just need to do the best with what I have. Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan R. Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 pua bootcamp? Real Social Dynamics Secrets Of Charisma And Congruence - YouTube Link to post Share on other sites
DannyMason Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Woohoo! Another chance to publicly obsess over virginity! *high fives self* Umm... anyway... Are you shy? Yeah, kinda. Not like I used to be, though as I have had a long history of severe anxiety issues. Did you ever go to a pua bootcamp or study its materials? No. Much of the whole pickup artist subculture mistreats or looks down on women and I don't really like that. I'd also be embarrassed to have to rely on a how-to manual to meet women. How is your social life? I don't have any meaningful interpersonal relationships. Do you make friends easily? Not really. My father held my college money hostage on the condition that I not socialize with the vast majority of local people because they're members of demographics he's bigoted against, so I've not had much of a chance. Also I have obscure interests and time consuming hobbies that are "single player" so even if I had a potential friend I wouldn't know what to do with one. Do you ever flirt? Whenever I get the chance. I had asked this before but I dont think I got a good answer. I want to learn so that I am not the guy who is in his 30s with no relationship experience Good on you for wanting to learn from our bad examples. Link to post Share on other sites
MomsSpaghetti Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I never even cared about getting a girlfriend until midway through college. By then, I was so far behind that I had the emotional maturity of a guy in junior high school who is learning for the first time how to deal with crushes, how to talk to girls, etc. I have tried to pursue 3 different girls. These pursuits were more like half-@$$ed attempts that would make anyone here cringe. Girl #1: Classic friendzone situation. If I told the story of why we don't talk to each other anymore, you guys would think I'm inventing it because it's so sad and hilarious that it could be made into a movie. Girl #2: Coworker who I asked out over Facebook ..... when she wasn't even my Facebook friend. Can it get any worse than that? Girl #3: Not even sure that she liked me. It's so confusing. All my friends told me that she thought I was hot, and she definitely seemed to like hanging out with me, but at the same time there were some indications that I was deep in the friendzone. Link to post Share on other sites
patrol Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Hi, I'm somedude81. The first thing that needs to be said is that luck plays a huge part in it. After that, they key is to try and make connections with lots of women. And then with each girl, you have to be interested in her, be funny and be bold. Do that with enough girls and fate may decide to smile on you. Flip those two around. Making connections should be number 1. Luck should be number 2. I can see why you would think that luck plays a huge role. My first gf told me she started liking me after she caught me babysitting my little sister when she came to drop something off. For the longest time I though I just got lucky with her but then I realized that if I hadn't become friends with her in the first place, she would've never come to my house that day. I personally hate explaining things with luck. You'll find that the most successful people in life are successful because they are doers. They don't just wait around for stuff to happen to them. They make things happen. I'm not saying that there's no luck involved but I don't think you should ever wait on luck to drive your life. Life is too short for that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Yes, those are legit boot camps. PUA bootcamps??? Who do they practice on, since the bootcamp is bound to be a sausage fest? Each other? :p Link to post Share on other sites
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