"He's the sexiest man alive."

[Star Gazer]

When I'm really into someone, I find myself thinking this to myself.

 

Like... yowza. :love: I have to fan myself!

 

And then I start kinda wigging out and worrying, because I don't think I'm the sexiest woman alive.

 

"He" most often seems to think so, but I can't seem to understand how/why he'd ever think I'm as amazingly attractive and sexy as I think he is because he's just THAT HOT. And yet, I know that how I see him is totally subjective - the current guy is insanely hot to me, but when I showed him to a couple girlfriends, they didn't seem all that impressed.

 

I definitely wouldn't say I think he's "better" than me, and I don't think I'd say I'm "insecure," but maybe I am? Or, maybe it's just because I want to bite his butt (aka like him a lot)?

 

Can anyone relate to this?

[mesmerized]

Well, I wouldn't go as far as saying he is the sexiest man alive but I've been in situations like that where I thought a guy was just incredibly attractive. The thing is though it wasn't all that subjective and other people found those guys hot too, just not as much as I did.

[Star Gazer]

Well, I wouldn't go as far as saying he is the sexiest man alive but I've been in situations like that where I thought a guy was just incredibly attractive. The thing is though it wasn't all that subjective and other people found those guys hot too, just not as much as I did.

 

He's definitely both subjectively and objectively attractive, but just how attractive is in the eyes of the beholder.

 

In my eyes, he's painfully sexy. You know, that deep down almost PAIN...?

 

[miss_jaclynrae]

I felt like that at times with my last guy. He was so ending gorgeous, serious movie star model status. Everywhere we went heads turned. I was always in awe of how he could be ii me, but man on man he fell for me so hard.

 

 

 

 

 

He was so attentive and treated me like a queen. Unfortunately after the first monh or two things started bothering me about his goals and personality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That awe went away as soon as I started losing interest lol. Then he just became annoying. Still hot, I mean I could still appreciate his appearance, but it just wasnt the same.

Bummer! But then again, my man now is hot and perfect for me!

[Star Gazer]

I too then get plagued by those horrible intrusive "I'm not hot enough for someone that hot" thoughts.

 

And when they're not THAT hot, it's even more baffling!

 

As much as I hated to admit it to myself, a lot of that did stem from insecurity but oddly, it's an insecurity sparked by a version of someone else that's based largely upon how only I see them.

 

It's completely self-created. It's true.

[pcplod]

Can anyone relate to this?

 

No, I can't relate. Seems a pity really. I ought to be envious. But then I read all of your post and see that it seems to be, hmm, shall we just call it, 'a problem', for want of a better word. Then I wonder whether I actually should be envious.

 

Oh, well.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I thought this post was about me...

 

nevermind!

[Emilia]

"He" most often seems to think so, but I can't seem to understand how/why he'd ever think I'm as amazingly attractive and sexy as I think he is because he's just THAT HOT. And yet, I know that how I see him is totally subjective - the current guy is insanely hot to me, but when I showed him to a couple girlfriends, they didn't seem all that impressed.

 

I definitely wouldn't say I think he's "better" than me, and I don't think I'd say I'm "insecure," but maybe I am? Or, maybe it's just because I want to bite his butt (aka like him a lot)?

 

Can anyone relate to this?

Yes. When I'm really into someone I always think he is the hottest thing on the planet and find his imperfections endearing. Couldn't care less whether anyone else thinks so

[amaysngrace]

I still think this about my guy. It's the X Factor.

 

Pure unadulterated chemistry!!

[Emilia]

I still think this about my guy. It's the X Factor.

 

Pure unadulterated chemistry!!

That's it exactly

[amaysngrace]

That's it exactly

 

Okay good because I thought maybe this was an ad for Dos Equis....

[Emilia]

Okay good because I thought maybe this was an ad for Dos Equis....

The beach is calling you my darling

[xxoo]

I still think this about my guy. It's the X Factor.

 

Pure unadulterated chemistry!!

 

I agree. No one can hold a candle to my guy in my eyes.

 

I honestly believe he feels the same about me, and has from the beginning. He always treats me like I'm the prettiest woman in the room, even when I'm not. The chemistry is strong on his end, too

[Treasa]

Yay, I get to be a killjoy yet again. Star, I think you tend to put guys you like on pedestals. This seems to be a recurring theme. They may not be huge pedestals, but they're pedestals nonetheless.

 

I think that somewhere in your mind, and I'm certain you'll argue this, the "ideal guy" (which they all seem to be in the beginning) is number one, and you are number two.

 

Yes, yes. You're very independent, don't think you have any insecurity issues, but having been where you are and now looking at it from a very different perspective, I think you idealize the guys you fall for.

 

It could also be a honeymoon stage kind of thing, but it makes me twitch a bit that he is the hottest guy ever, but you aren't the hottest woman ever. At the very least, shouldn't you be about equal in that department? I mean in YOUR mind.

[xxoo]

Star, why is it difficult to believe that, with strong chemistry, this guy thinks that you are the hottest woman ever?

 

Does he act equally smitten? Or is there an imbalance?

[Emilia]

Yay, I get to be a killjoy yet again. Star, I think you tend to put guys you like on pedestals. This seems to be a recurring theme. They may not be huge pedestals, but they're pedestals nonetheless.

 

I think that somewhere in your mind, and I'm certain you'll argue this, the "ideal guy" (which they all seem to be in the beginning) is number one, and you are number two.

 

Yes, yes. You're very independent, don't think you have any insecurity issues, but having been where you are and now looking at it from a very different perspective, I think you idealize the guys you fall for.

 

It could also be a honeymoon stage kind of thing, but it makes me twitch a bit that he is the hottest guy ever, but you aren't the hottest woman ever. At the very least, shouldn't you be about equal in that department? I mean in YOUR mind.

 

Agree completely. I misread Star's post and missed the insecurity part so thanks Treasa. Agree with you 100%.

[LittleTiger]

My guy is the hottest man on the planet - to me!

I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm the hottest woman - he certainly acts as though I am.

 

Do we agree with our opinions of each other - probably not!

 

Do other people agree with our opinions of each other? I have no idea and I couldn't care less.

 

I want him + he wants me = two happy people.

 

SG, the best relationships are between two people who can't believe how lucky they are that the other person thinks they're awesome. Don't question it, just chill out and enjoy the ride!

[tbf]

Yes! H is scorching hot!

[kaylan]

I never felt a girl was so hot that I wondered why she was with me. But I have dated girls who at the time I felt were the hottest ladies on the planet. When it came to my ex, it was my love for her, as much as her objectively nice body. Work of art lol

Well, I wouldn't go as far as saying he is the sexiest man alive but I've been in situations like that where I thought a guy was just incredibly attractive. The thing is though it wasn't all that subjective and other people found those guys hot too, just not as much as I did.

Lol, is OP the same person who in another thread tried to tell us how women dont react visually to men and how she doesnt become attracted to some guys mostly by how they look? Because this situation sounds largely appearance driven

 

Anyways, too all the guys out there...Ive said it before...Looks = brownie points with the ladies.

Yay, I get to be a killjoy yet again. Star, I think you tend to put guys you like on pedestals. This seems to be a recurring theme. They may not be huge pedestals, but they're pedestals nonetheless.

 

I think that somewhere in your mind, and I'm certain you'll argue this, the "ideal guy" (which they all seem to be in the beginning) is number one, and you are number two.

 

Yes, yes. You're very independent, don't think you have any insecurity issues, but having been where you are and now looking at it from a very different perspective, I think you idealize the guys you fall for.

 

It could also be a honeymoon stage kind of thing, but it makes me twitch a bit that he is the hottest guy ever, but you aren't the hottest woman ever. At the very least, shouldn't you be about equal in that department? I mean in YOUR mind.

Good post.

 

Just some advice to ladies out there. Ive had a few girls put me on a pedestal and consider me super hot. I consider myself ok, and while the attention is nice, it does get annoying after a little while. I also like a girl to think shes the sh!!t as well.

 

And it gets really bad if the girl combines her adoration for me with any self deprecation. No one likes to hear someone whos down on themselves, especially if it makes me feel like they are down on themselves because they compare themselves to me.

Edited July 7, 2013 by kaylan

[Star Gazer]

Star, why is it difficult to believe that, with strong chemistry, this guy thinks that you are the hottest woman ever?

 

I *think* I don't think men think/behave the same way, with all sorts of crazy giddiness and excitement and squealing behind a closed front door after the first kiss. You know? I think they think, "Yeah, score for me!" but not, "OMGOMGOMGOMG she is the hottest woman EVER! I want to just nibble her to death! Argghhh! SQUEEEEE!"

 

Ya know?

 

Does he act equally smitten? Or is there an imbalance?

 

I wouldn't know. He certainly doesn't know. I don't show the guys this!! Haha!!

[LilGirlandOW]

In my R with my MM I think he's the "sexiest man on the planet" yes (I've been told other wise by my cousin who finds him not attractive at all, lol), he often wonders how a girl as gorgeous as I would consider being with him as he feels I could have any man I wanted, we are deeply and passionately in love....

 

The chemistry was insane prior to R, still is now

[kaylan]

I *think* I don't think men think/behave the same way, with all sorts of crazy giddiness and excitement and squealing behind a closed front door after the first kiss. You know? I think they think, "Yeah, score for me!" but not, "OMGOMGOMGOMG she is the hottest woman EVER! I want to just nibble her to death! Argghhh! SQUEEEEE!"

 

Ya know?

 

I wouldn't know. He certainly doesn't know. I don't show the guys this!! Haha!!

Lol, guys do get "giddy" and "swoon" and all that. We just dont call it that when we talk to our buddies. But we certainly tell our friends how intense a first kiss was or how hot we think our lady is. We usually reserve that for our better friends.

[Star Gazer]

Yay, I get to be a killjoy yet again. Star, I think you tend to put guys you like on pedestals. This seems to be a recurring theme. They may not be huge pedestals, but they're pedestals nonetheless.

 

I think that somewhere in your mind, and I'm certain you'll argue this, the "ideal guy" (which they all seem to be in the beginning) is number one, and you are number two.

 

I think you're nitpicking and twisting what I've said.

 

I'm talking about that squeeling, giddy, excited feeling for a guy that you're newly into, and thinking, "He's the hottest man alive!" but thinking, "Ooops, but I'm not the hottest woman alive. Eeep." So, given the context of what I've said and this conversation, I'm not sure what you mean by he's number one, and I'm number two. If you mean I put him ahead of myself like he's a better human being than I am or is more deserving of anything, that's just not true. I just think he's sexually more arousing and giddiness-producing than I am. But maybe that's because I don't turn myself on by looking at myself in the mirror? Or don't hear him going OMGOMGOMG as he walks to the car, I only hear it in my own head?

 

If you mean I think he's objectively hotter than I am, that's still usually not true (even objectively, if you saw all my exes, more often than not, you might think, "What is she doing with him?"). I can only think of two instances where I thought he was hotter than me both subjectively and objectively.

 

It's more of a question/doubt that he thinks the whole "OMGOMGOMG!" thing like I do when I'm really into someone. It's more about how I think he finds my hotness me compared to how I find his hotness, during the infatuation stage.

 

Yes, yes. You're very independent, don't think you have any insecurity issues, but having been where you are and now looking at it from a very different perspective, I think you idealize the guys you fall for.

 

Yes, I'd agree with that. However, I haven't fallen for this one yet. I'm just excited by him and want to bite his butt and eat him alive and squish him. I'm really hoping you don't try to rain on my parade here.

 

It could also be a honeymoon stage kind of thing, but it makes me twitch a bit that he is the hottest guy ever, but you aren't the hottest woman ever. At the very least, shouldn't you be about equal in that department? I mean in YOUR mind.

 

When the honeymoon stage wears off - which it always has so far, given that I'm not married - this feeling weakens significantly, even when the relationship happily lasts for a significant time afterward.

 

As for not thinking I'm the hottest woman ever? I'm not. I'm not going to be arrogant and think I'm the hottest woman ever when I'm very clearly not. I'm very fair and objective when it comes to assessing how attractive I am, and I also know that even if I was the ripest, juiciest, sweetest peach out there, there are still going to be tons upon tons of men who don't like peaches.

 

And, I think it would be ridiculous for anyone to say, "I'm the hottest woman/man alive." I'd laugh in their face.

[thefooloftheyear]

My guy is the hottest man on the planet - to me!

I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm the hottest woman - he certainly acts as though I am.

 

Do we agree with our opinions of each other - probably not!

 

Do other people agree with our opinions of each other? I have no idea and I couldn't care less.

 

I want him + he wants me = two happy people.

 

SG, the best relationships are between two people who can't believe how lucky they are that the other person thinks they're awesome. Don't question it, just chill out and enjoy the ride!

 

Thats what its all about at the end of the day...

 

TFY

[Star Gazer]

Lol, guys do get "giddy" and "swoon" and all that. We just dont call it that when we talk to our buddies. But we certainly tell our friends how intense a first kiss was or how hot we think our lady is. We usually reserve that for our better friends.

 

Do you feel like you're going to burst? I mean, when I meet and start dating someone I really connect with and am excited about (it happens less often than I'm letting on), I feel like a teenage girl inside.

 

I wish I could be a fly on the wall in a guy's place/office/car/wherever to hear these conversations. I think it would calm these doubts/fears a hell of a whole lot.