ChiChiRhi Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 (edited) I've been in a online relationship with a guy for almost a year now ( 11 months ) we've exchanged pictures, got his facebook , number. It's weird but I really love him. Thing is, we argue/fight a lot about little things that occur for about 6 months now. About 1-2 months ago, I made a huge mistake. I cheated ( I consider it cheating ) on the guy I'm dating right now by having a sexual conversation ( thought it was called cybersex? ) with some guy. I always cut those things off right away 'cause I think it's weird, and doesn't make sense. Except for that one time. I immediately told the guy the next day that I was dating someone, and it felt wrong doing this. So I cut it off right away. I felt like I closed it and I could move on. Now a about 1 month later, I suddenly started feeling guilty. I really want to tell him today that I did something wrong. That I really regret it. I know we are having a hard time in our relationship etc. but I deffinetly don't think that's an excuse for what I did. To me it was a one-time mistake, that I never ever want to make again. I really should tell him, as soon as possible 'cause I think this ain't fair to him, eventhough he cheated in earlier relationships. He said this time feels different, which is more a reason why I don't want to lie to him. He told me he wouldn't like it if I was dating other guys someplace else, which I understand. Whenever I talk to my boyfriend, I don't think about that I cheated, but when I'm doing nothing ( like nothing on my mind ) I start to feel guilty :S Anyway, I don't want to lose him, but understand it if he would. I don't want any secrets between us. What should I do? Edited July 7, 2013 by ChiChiRhi Link to post Share on other sites
ChasingCars Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 This is a bit of a detachment from surroundings while simultaneously attaching to the situation "fog" all it's own which is based largely on fantasy but I have been there and will answer your question from the point of view of you wanting to remain in that world/bubble. I'm going to use the word "game" but don't get too hung up on that. I'm also answering as if you both are single. I wouldn't tell and I would make darn sure to not do it again- not only because you didn't play by the rules of the game (not fair to him) but also because it puts a damper on your enjoyment. What you have with your online partner is all you guys have together and if you tell then you will crack that world wide open and likely the jig will be over because it's no longer special or unique or whatever else you feel your situation is. Be honest about everything else though- don't be someone you aren't or misrepresent yourself, etc, etc. Be aware of the possibility that you may meet him one day and anything you lie or misrepresent will kill the whole deal. Your bubble is already in the threatening stages since you guys seem to be fighting about stuff- common in this. Stop fighting, chill out and enjoy the time you have with him because it will end eventually and if you start "cheating", being demanding, wanting more, jealous, creating chaos for a bigger rush, etc etc...it's going to end faster. When it stops being enjoyable, he will move on and so should you. Possibly you want to tell because you think it will draw you two closer together (enhanced trust, bonding moment, clear conscious)- it won't. While your emotions, time, etc are real, there is a huge fantasy element in this and often it is a huge distraction/avoidance of face to face things in life but if you can grasp what it is for you and acknowledge it for what it is then I think you will see a much larger picture and understand where I am coming from- my experience not the same as yours and my advice may be way off but this is just my opinion. No matter how much talk happens about meeting face to face- it is still not the whole enchilada until that actually happens. That meeting is still part of the fantasy. This is only my take on it, of course and I could be way off projecting my own experience and what I have seen with others involved in this world. IMHO Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChiChiRhi Posted July 7, 2013 Author Share Posted July 7, 2013 @ChasingCars Thanks for the reply, I definitely understand where you're coming from. I know it ain't real, so maybe shouldn't take it serious. Thanks for your opinion it was really helpful Link to post Share on other sites
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