Facebook Addiction; Insecurity; Anti-Depression Medication And Other Short Stories.

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

I got up this morning and without first brushing my teeth or brewing a coffee, I decided to check my Fb for messages. I had none, but these are the 4 status updates that stood out to me this morning.

 

1 - My ex of several years ago (still friends, good break up) was approached by a modelling scout not long after we broke up. She updated her status today to say that, through her modelling company, she had landed a small part in some TV show.

 

2 - My cousin posted a pic of her and her bf in Florence, Italy, where he proposed to her last night. She accepted, etc, etc, etc.

 

3 - My friend is currently travelling around Europe and posted an album of pictures of all the cities he's visited thus far.

 

4 - The sister of a close friend of mine has opened her own fashion boutique thing, and had the grand opening party last night, to which some famous DJ attended.

 

It was a pretty busy morning for Facebook. Meanwhile the only thing I could think to say on my status update was that I bought the new Neil Gaiman novel on Amazon and couldn't wait for it to arrive. I feel pathetic.

 

Facebook has repeatedly inflamed the notion I have that I am not living my life to the fullest. I'm on anti-depression meds and regularly attend a group therapy workshop. My life, I feel, has been spiralling out of control for the last few years, and looking at Facebook is just a sharp reminder that there's so much to do and see in the world if you're a normal person, and not a complete waste of air like myself.

 

So I've decided to delete it. I think it's going to be weird without it, since I'm pretty much addicted to it, and I'll miss the occasional laughs you get with people on it, and all the memes and things. It just kind of creeped into my life, I was never intent on making Facebook so important, its just because it became such a necessary part of modern day sociality that I started depending on it more and more. There's parties in my work that only ever get announced on Facebook. Seriously, if I didn't get the invite I wouldn't have known about the party. I also get a lot of my news from Facebook. It seems to be a vital part of life now, and I'll miss it, but I think it's refreshing to identify a caustic part of your life and cut it out immediately.

 

I haven't gotten out of bed yet. I've just been lying here feeling like sh*t. I'll probably need to spend the next few hours trying to cheer myself up before I can even get up and try and live my day like a normal person. Which is why I've written this. Even if no one replies, it's great to get it all off my chest. I feel a little better already.

[Nicoleiia]

Please delete or deactivate your account. It is not helping you or anybody by looking at other peoples lives. I don't doubt that those things are happening to them, but facebook is a one sided view of how life is for everyone. In essence, it's fake! It is people posting happy pictures and sharing happy/ funny stories and everyone is just having a great life supposedly. But life isn't like that. So, don't feed into facebook. It is smoke and mirrors. NOBODY posts about how miserable they are because that's not "cool". A lot of people like yourself and I are having a hard time in life, and the LAST thing I want to do is look at people and see how "happy" their lives are going. So, cheer up and get off that site for a while!

[JourneyLady]

NOBODY posts about how miserable they are because that's not "cool".

 

Oh I have friends and family who do... Usually it's a call for sending hugs and prayers or encouragement. At least they're being real. :-D In the past, I have posted when things weren't going so well too, and the few caring messages I got back really helped.

 

I think it is more prevalent among those of us who are "older" to be more real with our friends socially, even on Facebook.

 

However, I struggle with depression from time to time and I try to stay away from Facebook during those times. Not because it bothers me that other people are living seemingly cool lives -- but because too often someone will post something political that sets me off downward even more. I have a list I call "good mood reading" for those people. When I feel I can't be brought downward, that's the one I look at.

 

You can make a list of those who will likely give you encouragement and just post to them for a while too. But yeah, if you're down, maybe best to stay away.

[FitChick]

Facebook reminds me of those horrid Christmas newsletters that families used to send out. At least by not being on Facebook I am not subjected to that drivel any more.

[iouaname]

Facebook is just basically everyone's highlight reels. People post their best moments/best pictures, etc. because everyone feels like they are in constant competition with each other. I deleted mine back in April, thinking I just needed a break from it. Now it's July, and honestly, I'm just not interested in putting it back up. I have felt so much better without it.

[Pompeii]

Get the **** off Facebook. Get off. Cut that **** out of your life. It's unhealthy, it's counterproductive, and its ego destroying. Cut it out. Most people don't live half as interesting lives. Facebook is only the showcase for "exciting things" that happen. Most people aren't that "cool" or "interesting".

[todreaminblue]

i dont even read the things on facebook when people ae posting...... abotu their toileting and how they threw up a lung at their last party ....gets a bit staid....my daughter regales me and tells me random facts as follows..... about cats and when they arch their back they are inviting you to sniff their anal glands....all from face book...i am not richer mentally emotionally or physically for knowing abour cats and anal glands and that they want me to smell them.......i just dont want to pat them anymore now especially when they invite me to sniff their butt...not interested at all........never fear about your lack of exciting news...most people post crap on facebook....its boring...i think your book is much more interesting...and yes...intelligent..........hugs to ya....deb

[MomsSpaghetti]

By deleting your Facebook, you're just running away from the problem instead of solving it.

 

I understand that you're depressed and nothing is going on in your life and you hate being exposed to the cool lives of your peers and having them be exposed to your lame life through the social medium of Facebook, which does expose your life to others. (It's true that Facebook is a highlight reel and that people try to embellish their lives, but any smart person can see who genuinely has a cool life, and some people do, really, have cool lives. They're getting into prestigious grad schools, internship at the best companies in the nation, hanging out with attractive people, and so forth.)

 

So why don't you try to make your life as awesome as theirs? I guarantee that you won't have so much anxiety and so many trivial fears about signing into Facebook if you know that you actually have something worthwhile to share, or that you feel good enough about your life that none of your friends can possibly make you feel bad in comparison. That's solving the problem. You should look into it.

 

I have many issues with Facebook; I've nearly deleted mine as a result. I used to consider the affect Facebook had on my psyche to be one of those problems, but I've realized that the problem was me, not Facebook. Take some responsibility for yourself, dude. The problems I do have with Facebook are the following:

 

(1) Perpetual change in privacy settings, complicated further by the fact that Facebook accounts are basically linked to GMail and Youtube accounts. In particular, I had an incident where I uploaded an inappropriate video to Youtube, and for some reason it was automatically posted to my Facebook wall!!!!!!! I had never changed any setting on my Youtube account to make it do this. It was a default setting that happens when you have your GMail linked to your Youtube.

 

(2) Embarrassing times when I was blacked-out drunk and chose to Facebook message a girl or to write something stupid on my wall. I mean, Facebook just makes it too easy to act on a bad idea of something to broadcast to hundreds of people. People get fired from jobs and sometimes put in jail for things they "accidentally" say on Facebook.

 

(3) Ruined friendships as the result of people who take Facebook too seriously. One of my college buddies who I had always reached out to and invested a lot of time in being a good peer to, defriended me on Facebook and in real life. I didn't care that he defriended me on Facebook, but it was extremely weird how, the next time I saw him in real life and tried to start a pleasant conversation with him, he acted all standoffish.

 

If I was a perfect angel, I wouldn't have to worry about those first 2 things, but I'm only human, I make mistakes and I don't want my mistakes to be exacerbated by having a Facebook account.

Edited July 10, 2013 by MomsSpaghetti

[jphcbpa]

now LS can become our newest addiction

[steveT95]

Facebook, people's use of it and a hell of a lot of things on it have made my situation so much harder for me. I have learnt to block those things out. There is a button to do this, if you don't like something, press it. Sometimes a quote will be posted that makes me feel down so I click hide.

I don't have to see anything I don't want to.

I guess I am addicted to it too. I have deleted it a couple time but it is waaaay to easy to log back in. I use it to keep in contact with people that I wouldn't be able to other wise. I also use it to escape life and look at memes and that junk. It makes me forget about life for a few minutes so I certainly wouldn't delete mine. Just need to prioritise and learn when to come off of it.

 

It sounds a bit like a self-fulfilling prophecy here. You think your life isn't as good so you make sure that it isn't. As stated above, go out and have some fun. Post some wacky crap on it and make yourself look interesting!