Weird Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Agreed...it will mess her up down the road and she is for a huge dose of reality when sees life ain't all perfect and rough spots happen and you have to deal with them and forgive people and move on. I am in a profession where I am witness to the great character flaw of human beings that doesn't learn form past mistakes and acts like what bad stuff happened in the past is a sign of doom and that things can't ever be better. People are way too fearful and can never see things can be better if they would just lay themselves out there and risk the chance they may get screwed but may end up happier. Life- and specifically relationships- is one big gamble and too many people are afraid to take the chance to go for the "big payday" and instead stick with the cautious play. So retarded. It is so frustrating that people (like our exes) did that over reacting and jumping to conclusions **** but what can we do but say "your loss" and live our lives but keep the door open in case they smarten up and see they acting like fools. My philsophy is that you have to have rough spots to see how a perosn truly is. Everyone acts all great when things are going well so you can't truly see how they are. Only when things aren't peachy keen or going the way they want do you get to see how a person truly is and how mature thye may or may not be. Your ex just like mine seems to think that a relationship in order to work has to be free of any conflict...she'll have a nice time trying to find that in her life. If she truly does decide to go for other dudes she may be able to bamboozle them into a relationship but once they see she can't handle any conflict or cant handle having things her way they will bail on her ass and she will be left scratching her head. Eventually she will realize there is something wrong with her and will regret how she handled stuff in the past and she probably will try and come back to you knwoing that you put up with her and had true love and were willing to put in an effort to make things work. I am confident that my ex will never have any meaningful relationship if she doesnt change because no guy will put up with the runaway crap she does right now and she will one day realize this and see that I was willing to put up with her. Makes me smile knowing that... Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 My ex boyfriend did. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 It's not that you fall out of love in a blink of an eye, it's that you were never in love to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
gersanos Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 It's not that you fall out of love in a blink of an eye, it's that you were never in love to begin with. I have heard quite a few people mention this on this forum and elsewhere, but what would it have been for all this time? The idea of falling in love? Lust/infatuation? I know for certain that my X fell in love with me. All her words, actions, and behaviors backed this up. There is not a shred of doubt in my mind. She absolutely gave me the world, and I in return. But, how she just jumped ship when things got tough for 2 weeks doesn't point me in the direction that she was never in love to begin with, but rather, that her true colors showed. She mentioned that she thought things were always going to be "perfect" after 3 days only of fighting on and off, and now things "just are not the same," and she stated that she thought that we are just going to be fighting from here on out, and she told me she started having dreams of us fighting as well. I asked if in her dreams we resolved issues after we fought and she said yes. Well, in reality though, I guess that was not the case. That reflects upon her as a person who is completely immature, naive, and lives in some fantasy land. Furthermore, she stated that she would rather be naive when I mentioned that life will be full of ups and downs, whether it be with relationships, work, school, family, friends, etc. It's actually pretty sad and pathetic. What kind of girl did I end up falling for? It's like she's a child that has no sense of reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 It's not that you fall out of love in a blink of an eye, it's that you were never in love to begin with. That is what I usually say...the person either wasn't truly in love or they still truly love their partner and are making up some lame excuses because they dont have the emotional maturity to handle dealing with things and they decide to say the utterly idiotic "feel out of love" line to try and avoid the situation and hope time makes their feelings go away...which it rarely ever does. Whatever option it is, the person has been spewing forth some bull**** with their partner. I tend to think long term relationships that have one party say "I feel out of love" out of the blue are cases where the person still is in love but has a maturity problem to continue the relationship. If it is a short relationship then I could see how the person was just infatuated rather than in love and they finally realized it. I highly doubt every long term relationship where a person says that wasn't truly in love. If humans really can't figure out their feelings for a person after a couple years then damn, they need some serious help. Link to post Share on other sites
TranslucentThoughts Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Oh my god. I am so happy! I finally found some people who understand what I am going through... because they know what it's like! I thought no one else did. My boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago because of this exact "i'm not in love with you anymore" thing. It's been horrible. I am still so in love with him and I just want him back. He just changed though... in less than a month. I knew for about a a week that something was definetly wrong because he just wasn't acting the same... and when I finally confronted him he broke up with me saying that he didn't know what happened... but he just didn't feel the same anymore... he loves me... but it's "in" love. I don't how he could have said that. We were together for 11 months... and maybe that's not a long time... but we were really close... and he always told me how much he loved me and how much he wanted us to be together forever... I felt the exact same way... except my feeling didn't just disappear. I know that I was good to him and I always made sure he knew how much I loved him. I just... I don't understand it. I feel like nothing now. I feel like he thinks I am nothing. I feel like I must have done something to deserve this pain... and I just feel like I can't get over it. I don't want to be with anyone else. I wish it were easier. It seems like this is so easy for him... to just forget about me... why can't it be for me? Why can't I fall out of love to? It's so unfair. Link to post Share on other sites
Sukotto Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 Well the problem is that he prepared himself for the split, he could have been thinking about it for a few weeks and justified it to himself. I'm not going to sugar coat the truth for you, its hard to get over someone that was such a major part of your life. I still feel this rage inside me when I speak to my ex at times, she just appears to ungrateful for the things my entire family done for her. My dad taught her how to drive because her parents weren't willing. My aunt would test her eyes at her opticians. My sister sorted her out with a discount card for her favourite clothes shop. She still benefits from all these things and doesn't seem to care. It took about 4 weeks for what was left of my love for her to finally die. I still care for her but I can definately say that I'm not in love with her any more. We haven't seen each other in 2 weeks now and thats something I found hard. Filling the void that she once occupied. All I can say is keep yourself occupied. Double your shifts if you have a job, join a gym and work out., catch up with your friends you neglected for your boyfriend or even start a new hobby. I hope you have the strength to come to terms with the loss. Link to post Share on other sites
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