ConnorD20132 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 (edited) So I started messaging this girl on facebook, we have a mutual friend, and I thought it would be cool to talk to her and eventually work out a date or something. Her latest message was really short, and I'm sort of at a lack of ideas for what to say or do, as she isn't giving me a whole lot to work with: __________________________________ Me: By chance do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Her: A bajillion pounds Me: I suppose that would be enough to break the ice. Her: Haha yeah, I think so!! Me: Sorry, If I knew anything cheesier, I would of said that instead. You work at ** A College **? What do you do there? Her: Ya I'm gonna be working at the ** Chapel ** there! Me: Sounds awesome, and you seem enthusiastic about it. I'm taking a wild guess and saying they didn't hire you to give sermons on Sundays, so what will you be doing there? Her: Haha noo, I'm going to be a tour guide and learn everything ever about ** The Guy who the place is dedicated to ** Me: Little known fact, **The Guy the school was named after** was in seven Sororities and was a wicked-awesome surfer. Say that during your first tour, and thank me later for how many people will commend you on your encyclopedic-like knowledge of ** The Guy the school was named after **... I was trying to think of a clever way to transition this into a question about what kind of music you like, but I couldn't find a way for the life of me... So what kind of music do you like? Her: Haha I'll be sure to do that. I'll just go ahead and admit that I have bieber fever. I also like bon iver, kings of Leon, timeflies and just lots of stuff! Me: I like how your super enthusiastic about everything, even if it's about Bieber, haha. How about Florence and the Machine, Stateless, or Hugo? I think I linked a song in this message. It may not be featuring Bieber, but it's still pretty good. **Hugo's song, Bread and Butter linked in message ** Her: I do like Florence and the machine. And even though it wasn't the biebs, it did have interesting lyrics haha Me: You got two points for Bon Iver and Kings of Leon, but lost a point for Justin Beiber. However, you've net another point for Florence and the Machine. As for Hugo... yeah, he really likes buttered bread. *** 3 days pass, no response *** Me: Actually, I've heard some good covers of Beibers songs, so some of his lyrics arn't bad. In the end Beiber only costs you half a point. Honestly its nothing against him, but as a man I'm expected to dislike him passionately. He becomes sort of a secret sin like not watching football on Sundays or watching True Blood. Her: Everyone secretly likes bieber _____________________________________ As you can see, I feel like i've kind of lost her. Her reply was really short, and didn't give me much to work off of. I was hoping the convorsation would reveal a little more about her, but it hasn't. Anyone have any ideas, or can someone tell me what I did wrong? I've thought my next message should be something like: The points don't actually mean anything by the way, so you could lose a thousand and still be doing good. So far all I know about you is a few bands you like and where you work. So I want to try something real fast, a word association game kind of. I say something, and without thinking, you reply. Ready, go! **The name of the city where she lives**. ___________________ My fear is I may be coming across as too eccentric. Edited July 7, 2013 by ConnorD20132 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Yeah, that read as way too try hard. You need to get to the point quicker. She knows you are interested, so ask her out to coffee, lunch, a drink, etc. The intro wasn't bad, but you fell apart quickly after that. And stop talking about your points system. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConnorD20132 Posted July 8, 2013 Author Share Posted July 8, 2013 Thanks for the honest answers. Even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConnorD20132 Posted July 8, 2013 Author Share Posted July 8, 2013 I don't see HOW i fell apart though. You guys are telling me how horrible I did, without explaining why it was bad. I talked about music for like 2 messages, WHY is that bad; it was only two messages. I tried using humor throughout the messaging, WHY is that bad. You said I was a tryhard, how was I a try hard? Honestly, during this convo, i've been more of myself then i've ever been, so if this **** is hopeless, then I should quit now. You wrote that what I asked wasn't original, which is funny, because I thought that simply asking the mundane questionnaire that people seem to do is unoriginal. Then you said the intro wasn't bad. The intro was ****ing googled pick up lines type stuff. I don't know. I ****ing quit. When I try to pick up a girl, I'm boring, when I be myself, Im unoriginal. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 (edited) You talked way too much, that's why I said you tried too hard. There was an OK framework, but you got way too cute with the points system, the story about the founder of the school, the buttered bread. The key is to be naturally humorous without trying to come off as "look at me and how funny and clever I am", otherwise it comes off like an act. You want the girl to talk more than you do. It's ok to try a "hey, what are you up to?" or "Hey, how's your week going?" and then go from there. You don't want to use up all your material right away and you don't want to talk to her too long at the beginning. Get her to laugh and leave her wanting more. You blew your wad and were pressing. Also, pretend like you don't really care. This girl is just one of several girls you are talking to -- don't sweat her too much. They can sense desperation and they stay way the hell away from it. Just relax. Try talking to other girls, both online and in person, figure out what works and what doesn't. This girl is hardly the end-all, be-all of human existence. Edited July 8, 2013 by Simon Phoenix Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 You are being too complimentary way too soon.....I think you may have put your eggs all in one basket by sending PM's to her. Take a step back and see how she reacts in other social situations with your mutual friends on a FB thread or something like that. Reason I say this is that when you go right to the PMs from the start you really leave yourself very little wiggle room for getting out of an awkward conversation. She probably sees you at the moment as a bit desperate so lay back a bit and see if you can get an in on a mutual thread...you can find out a lot more about somebody if you see them in their element where they feel unemcumbered by feeling like they have to answer than through straight PM. Time is your friend here...take it slowwwwwwwww. Good Luck;) Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 So I started messaging this girl on facebook, we have a mutual friend, and I thought it would be cool to talk to her and eventually work out a date or something. Her latest message was really short, and I'm sort of at a lack of ideas for what to say or do, as she isn't giving me a whole lot to work with: __________________________________ Me: By chance do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Her: A bajillion pounds Me: I suppose that would be enough to break the ice. Her: Haha yeah, I think so!! Me: Sorry, If I knew anything cheesier, I would of said that instead. You work at ** A College **? What do you do there? Her: Ya I'm gonna be working at the ** Chapel ** there! Me: Sounds awesome, and you seem enthusiastic about it. I'm taking a wild guess and saying they didn't hire you to give sermons on Sundays, so what will you be doing there? Her: Haha noo, I'm going to be a tour guide and learn everything ever about ** The Guy who the place is dedicated to ** Me: Little known fact, **The Guy the school was named after** was in seven Sororities and was a wicked-awesome surfer. Say that during your first tour, and thank me later for how many people will commend you on your encyclopedic-like knowledge of ** The Guy the school was named after **... I was trying to think of a clever way to transition this into a question about what kind of music you like, but I couldn't find a way for the life of me... So what kind of music do you like? Her: Haha I'll be sure to do that. I'll just go ahead and admit that I have bieber fever. I also like bon iver, kings of Leon, timeflies and just lots of stuff! Me: I like how your super enthusiastic about everything, even if it's about Bieber, haha. How about Florence and the Machine, Stateless, or Hugo? I think I linked a song in this message. It may not be featuring Bieber, but it's still pretty good. **Hugo's song, Bread and Butter linked in message ** Her: I do like Florence and the machine. And even though it wasn't the biebs, it did have interesting lyrics haha Me: You got two points for Bon Iver and Kings of Leon, but lost a point for Justin Beiber. However, you've net another point for Florence and the Machine. As for Hugo... yeah, he really likes buttered bread. *** 3 days pass, no response *** Me: Actually, I've heard some good covers of Beibers songs, so some of his lyrics arn't bad. In the end Beiber only costs you half a point. Honestly its nothing against him, but as a man I'm expected to dislike him passionately. He becomes sort of a secret sin like not watching football on Sundays or watching True Blood. Her: Everyone secretly likes bieber _____________________________________ As you can see, I feel like i've kind of lost her. Her reply was really short, and didn't give me much to work off of. I was hoping the convorsation would reveal a little more about her, but it hasn't. Anyone have any ideas, or can someone tell me what I did wrong? I've thought my next message should be something like: The points don't actually mean anything by the way, so you could lose a thousand and still be doing good. So far all I know about you is a few bands you like and where you work. So I want to try something real fast, a word association game kind of. I say something, and without thinking, you reply. Ready, go! **The name of the city where she lives**. ___________________ My fear is I may be coming across as too eccentric. I don't know how old you are but your approach is the complete suck. Talk to her like you would talk to any one of your friends. Link to post Share on other sites
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