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where do I go from here...


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I could use some help from all of the men and women out there.

 

About three years ago I became attracted to the new girl at work, she is 25 and I am 22. She has an amazing body that made me notive her immediately, and since becoming friends with her I have found out that she has a great personnality as well.

 

But the problem has always been that she was inlove with an older man that she had been dativg for years, so I never wanted to tell her how I feel because I knew that there was no chance for us.

 

We started hanging around together, shopping, watching movies, etc. Then about a year and ahalf ago she got evicted from her appartment and needed a place to go so I offered up my spare room since her b/f hadn't offered. She moved in with me, things have gone really well, she bought a house and I moved with her and we are still living together.

 

Last week her b/f dumped her with no good reason and she has been devestated because she loved him, but she doesn't want to give up on the relationship even though he won't even talk to her.

 

I don't know what to do for her and need suggestions in this dept... When she is feeling down I buy her flowers, when I screw up I get her something, and she does small things the same way. But I don't know if I should tell her how I relly feel about her since it could get really ugly if she doesn't feel the sme way especially since we live and work together.

 

That is why I need some help, how do I help her get over her b/f and tell her that I am interested in being more then just friends.

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Listen you really cant help her to do something that she needs to do herself. Obviously this relationship with this guy wont last. He is not being good to her and you may just have to wait for it to end.

 

Now about her feelings for you.. That is a tricky one. It may be that she gets from you what she does not get from him. And for that reason she feels comfortable with you ... But she doesn't love you. I dont mean to hurt you with this but its the logical conclusion otherwise she would have been with you by now.

 

The best thing you can do is to be there for her and hope that something happens a couple of months down the road when she is over the loser. If not then you need to move on buddy.

 

Things dont have to turn ugly unless you get hurt. You can always stay friends if nothing happens. But then I suggest moving out (not in a mean way) but just to give yourself some space to move on. Its hard to fall in love with someone else when you live with your object of desire.

 

So does that sound like a plan?

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I know that there isn't usually a very good chance at a relationship with friends but I also have friends that swear that dating friends is the only way to go because you already know the person a little and have a base developed.

 

But I don't know if down the road I should tell her I would like to take her on a real date and see how she reacts or not. I definitely know not to go out and tell her that I have loved her always.. because that is never a good thing. And I would hope that I am a good enough person that I would be able to live with just being friends if that was her decision.

 

I just don't know what to do...

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