Teacher1234 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 I make friends easily. I am genuinely nice to others and when meeting new people I tend to smile and try to make small talk. However, yesterday my fiancee came home yesterday and told me that one of his assistants told him that I acted fake! WTH! Yes, I tend to smile and think positive for the most part, but why on earth would she say that? She only met me once as well. This really bothers me because for some reason, this month has been a "bad" month for me, Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Ask your fiancee, or even better the person who said it. How can we know whether you're really fake or not? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I make friends easily. I am genuinely nice to others and when meeting new people I tend to smile and try to make small talk. However, yesterday my fiancee came home yesterday and told me that one of his assistants told him that I acted fake! WTH! Yes, I tend to smile and think positive for the most part, but why on earth would she say that? She only met me once as well. This really bothers me because for some reason, this month has been a "bad" month for me, what i have found is that people who exude happiness....are like tall poppies.....people tend to want to classify them as fake and cut those poppies down for ulterior reasons pertaining to their own lives...... ....because they arent happy themselves....they cant believe in genuine happiness and bounciness in facing the day or the fact you can choose to face life and each day with a smile or a scowl...i prefer a smile....... .even people who put up a front and smile through their trials are considered fake........not strong or resolute and thoughtful or even stoic..........but fake....dont worry about others thoughts on who or what you are....if you are happy...keep smilin girlfriend.......i will smile right along with you...smilin atcha......:bunny: with bunnies even...deb 5 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Yeah what's her problem anyway? Fake? Next time you see her you should flash her and show her how REAL you are! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 (edited) Maybe she got burned by someone who was fake with her and you just happen to remind her of that person(s). It's nothing you did wrong. I am more interested in why your fiancée would choose to tell you this. Why does he want you to know this girl doesn't like you? How is that important? Edited July 9, 2013 by SpiralOut 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I make friends easily. I am genuinely nice to others and when meeting new people I tend to smile and try to make small talk. However, yesterday my fiancee came home yesterday and told me that one of his assistants told him that I acted fake! WTH! Yes, I tend to smile and think positive for the most part, but why on earth would she say that? She only met me once as well. This really bothers me because for some reason, this month has been a "bad" month for me, Some people are mistrustful of overly friendly people. It happens to me sometimes. My ex told me she found it hard to believe I was genuine, because I give my care so easily for others...even strangers. Though, one should note, she is an introvert. Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 what i have found is that people who exude happiness....are like tall poppies.....people tend to want to classify them as fake and cut those poppies down for ulterior reasons pertaining to their own lives...... ....because they arent happy themselves....they cant believe in genuine happiness and bounciness in facing the day or the fact you can choose to face life and each day with a smile or a scowl...i prefer a smile....... .even people who put up a front and smile through their trials are considered fake........not strong or resolute and thoughtful or even stoic..........but fake....dont worry about others thoughts on who or what you are....if you are happy...keep smilin girlfriend.......i will smile right along with you...smilin atcha......:bunny: with bunnies even...deb Even if I'm really unhappy deep down, my happiness and outward care is not fake. You can be happy on the outside and even have a good time while being sad on the inside. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Even if I'm really unhappy deep down, my happiness and outward care is not fake. You can be happy on the outside and even have a good time while being sad on the inside. totally agree......i do this all the time.......i can be sad when i am alone at night....if i need to be....i actually prefer to laugh and smile when i can....and i do....cheers to ya fellow smiler.....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I am more interested in why your fiancée would choose to tell you this. Why does he want you to know this girl doesn't like you? How is that important? Exactly. And he chose to tell you this despite the bad month you've had. And this person is his assistant? Meaning he's her superior? The proper response would have been, "You are not to comment on my personal life or to speak unprofessionally of others." That should have been the end of it. Was there a very good reason you absolutely needed to know someone said a catty thing about you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Maybe she has a crush on your fiance. By the way, "fiancee" is female, "fiance" is male. French. Just like "masseuse" is female and "masseur" is male. Common mistake if you don't speak French but it bugs me every time! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I am more interested in why your fiancée would choose to tell you this. Why does he want you to know this girl doesn't like you? How is that important? Agreed, though I think pressing him on the issue might be a mistake. People only tend to give the answers they want to give in these scenarios, so you're unlikely to be enlightened in any significant way by a conversation with him about it. I would express some surprise about this woman's opinion of you mattering enough for him to share it with you - but otherwise I think it's best to react dismissively to the "fake" comment, and the woman who made it. Link to post Share on other sites
pcplod Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I make friends easily. I am genuinely nice to others and when meeting new people I tend to smile and try to make small talk. However, yesterday my fiancee came home yesterday and told me that one of his assistants told him that I acted fake! WTH! Yes, I tend to smile and think positive for the most part, but why on earth would she say that? She only met me once as well. This really bothers me because for some reason, this month has been a "bad" month for me, Yeah, well, we are all fake, to some extent, some of the time. It's a must, just in order to be able to cope. Otherwise you figuratively die. On the other hand, you can be a complete and utter misery guts, 24x7, in order to avoid ever being disappointed by not being happy when you expected to be. Other people just so love people like that because they are so consistent and dependable. Why worry at all about another miserable $h1te, or their provocative and trite opinion? No one is buying the script anyway. PS. Did your partner laugh with you when telling you, or laugh at you. Could make all the difference. Or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happydate Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I make friends easily. I am genuinely nice to others and when meeting new people I tend to smile and try to make small talk. However, yesterday my fiancee came home yesterday and told me that one of his assistants told him that I acted fake! WTH! Yes, I tend to smile and think positive for the most part, but why on earth would she say that? She only met me once as well. This really bothers me because for some reason, this month has been a "bad" month for me, The problem is with being "NICE" and maybe not talking about yourself specifically or maybe it is also in you? Being nice is associated in this society with being a manipulator who needs to manipulate the outcome to favour him or herself. Why would you be nice to someone you don't even know. For all you know, he or she could be sleeping with your fiance. For being that, the person can be called a fake and his assistants probably saw a lot of people who fake themselves for being nice to gain an upper advantage. It happens quite a bit in a corporate world, litigation, sales etc.. I deal with a lot of these people myself; especially women who are very good at what they do in sales. Why do you think companies place good looking women in sales and show floors and are always so nice to you?!? To get you to buy something! And why are you so sensitive about this? Usually nice people who manipulate others to benefit themselves by altering the outcome are extremely sensitive of other's criticism which was what they are trying to avoid. Good nice people who are authentic don't give a crap what people said. They just brush it off. You simply CAN NOT be NICE to billions of people on earth and expect billions of people to not criticize you. Impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I'm with fitchick ~ sounds like the typical ploy a girl who is interested in a taken male engages in, talking bad about his woman. Nothing horrible, but just enough to make him wonder if his gal is as great as he thinks she is. Because when she's able to do that, that kind of girl thinks she's "winning" him over. be above her level of game-playing, and tell him, "sorry to hear she thinks of me that way," then let it go. Don't let it eat at you or waste your time, because that's what she wants ... she wants to get inside your head and introduce doubt in the relationship. If you and he are tight, he's going to take his cues from you. If it doesn't bug you, then more than likely it doesn't bug him because what she thinks doesn't really matter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Maybe she has a crush on your fiance. By the way, "fiancee" is female, "fiance" is male. French. Just like "masseuse" is female and "masseur" is male. Common mistake if you don't speak French but it bugs me every time! If you're gonna correct someone you can't leave out the accents. fiancée fiancé Hahahaha. ;D Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Most of the people who I've perceived to be fake were usually those who were unusually bubbly.. I know someone like this. I can't help it, I have no ulterior motives as some posters have implied in this thread, it just leaves me with a funny feeling when I'm talking to someone and they use this sort of elongated speech, it just reeks of insincerity to me.. When someone looks at you very thoughtfully and just goes "ooooooooh, yeeeah, I toootally agreee!" I can't help that my instant internal reaction is to go "wtf am I talking to you for? you don't give a **** about a thing I'm saying, do you? you could care less.." I tend to question the sincerity and motives of people who are too bubbly and speak with a certain air.. I question how much of it is genuine, and how much of it is an act to appear positive in front of people they don't give a **** about. Perhaps they mean well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 On the other hand, you can be a complete and utter misery guts, 24x7, in order to avoid ever being disappointed by not being happy when you expected to be. Other people just so love people like that because they are so consistent and dependable. Why worry at all about another miserable $h1te, or their provocative and trite opinion? No one is buying the script anyway. Ha. Exactly. I was reading some article about Andy Murray's Wimbledon win. There was a comments section, and lots of commentators were coming out with the old "it's only tennis, who do you lot care? It's not your victory...how pitiful of you." Or turning it into a hostile nationalistic thing or just generally berating people for daring to take a break from thinking about life's most soul-crushing aspects. I've been caught out before by that "I might be a difficult, negative, bad atmosphere bringing, perpetual backseat driving critic and general harbinger of doom in respect of everything you do, say, plan and dream about...but I'm a great friend once you get to know me. As real as they come..." vibe. All that happens is that when you're having some downtime, they'll be ready and willing to compete with you in an endless contest about who has the greater right to be a miserable, self absorbed swamp dweller. Link to post Share on other sites
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